Pope Francis To Allow Contraception For Rabbits, Media Reporting

January 21, 2015 by  
Filed under Vatican

Just days after Pope Francis made statements supporting the Church’s ban on artificial means of birth control, media outlets from across the globe are now reporting that the “progressive” pope has finally overturned the Church’s long-standing ban on contraception for bunnies.

Speaking with reporters on a flight Monday from the Philippines to Rome, Francis encouraged Catholics to use natural family planning so as not to breed like rabbits, before going on to add that rabbits would, from now on, be allowed the use of certain forms of artificial birth control.

MSNBC Vatican analyst Reese Moore reported that although the Church’s ban on humans using birth control has sadly not been overturned, that bunny contraception was a step in the right direction.

“This is certainly a step in the right direction,” Moore told EOTT this morning. “It appears to be an unprecedented statement that bunnies too may have a moral responsibility to limit the number of their offspring. When the Pope makes a statement saying that rabbits need not breed like rabbits, it appears as though the Pope is asking rabbits world-wide to look at Catholics as an example of responsible parenthood. I firmly believe that Pope Francis is testing the waters here for something truly groundbreaking.”

  • Shaun McAfee

    Ferrealz, breh

  • Justin White

    If it wasn’t for this article, I would love to know the context within which that photo was originally taken.

    • Nicole Flusche

      It is a Ryan McGuire photo from his Gratisography site. All of the images on that site he made free for public domain without copyright restriction. The original image says, “will decorate eggs for food.”

  • CFS

    “Some bishops, after prayerful consultation with MSNBC, have interpreted the Pope’s decision to include Playboy Bunnies. This interpretation was favorably received by the Playboy bunny population.”

  • Jim

    Looks like all those years of wearing hare shirts finally paid off for the little guys. Yes, I actually took the time to type that out. Cue the rim shot, please!

  • wlinden

    Surprised this was not the real headline.
    If Benedict had said it, now, the headlines would assert “POPE CONDEMNS RABBITS!”

  • Mara319

    Unfair to rabbis!

  • Bertrand Fellow

    The Catholic Church’s authentic teaching on rabbits can be found on my website.