Christian Radio Show Host Claims God Sending Drought, Disease To Punish Us For “Pitch Perfect 2”

May 15, 2015 by  
Filed under Uncategorized

Christian radio show host Rick Wiles said on his show yesterday that God is using bird flu and other viruses, along with the California drought, to punish America until it decides that it will never ever allow another Pitch Perfect movie.

“Add it up: Bird flu is killing tens of millions of birds and California is in the throes of a mega-drought unlike anything seen in over 1,200 years,” Wiles said. “And this just so happens to be occurring just as we are in the throes of another Pitch Perfect movie. It’s obvious the two are linked.”

Wiles went on to say that Hollywood filmmakers are “obsessed with predictable plots” and “lazy script writing,” and that if Hollywood did not repent, the final stage of judgment would be sent.

“It is war,” Wiles continued. “If Hollywood refuses to humble herself before originality, God will humble us before foreign filmmakers.”

  • Rob

    I guess God hasn’t seen any of the Transformers movies…

    • Lee Bacchi

      Yes, or the Twilight series, or the Hangover trilogy, or . . . . (what others can readers suggest?)

      • Mr Bean

        The divergent trilogy

      • Hotrod1962

        God gave us Plan 9 from Outer Space….to show us he has a sense of humor.

        • Lee Bacchi

          And Mars Needs Women as well!

        • ithakavi

          Edd Wood is probably in the Choir Eternal on the strength of that movie alone.

      • wiffle

        Batman. Spiderman. Batman. Spiderman. Avengers. Avengers. Avengers.

        It’s a wonder we’ve survived the last 3 decades.

    • Clifton Wolfe

      Optimus Prime riding a gigantic robotic T-Rex. . .What could be more awesome than that?

    • samton909

      God has seen every movie. Twice.

      It’s just that the makers of the Transformers movies have been to confession.

      • ithakavi

        He sees them all – simultaneously – past, present, and future.

        • yourmommatoo

          Ask him if the new Peanuts movie is going to be any good.

          • ithakavi

            Alas, I am not the recipient of private revelation.

  • And yet we got through Gigli unscathed…

    • Lee Bacchi

      I liked Gigli — probably the only one who did!

  • Sr. Mary Brigid

    And I thought we were still paying for Ishtar…

    • Jim

      Thank you for a familiar reference, Sister. I was beginning to feel woefully un-hip.

    • Mr Bean

      Sister, your nuns should have a sing off against the Bellas

    • ithakavi

      And then we have to do penance for Showgirls. And Lord knows how we’ll ever catch up with all the iterations of ‘Transformers’ and ‘Fast and Furious.’ Sisyphus had it easy.

      And bless you Sr. I haven’t seen BXVI lately.

  • Paul

    Pitch Perfect…….or in other words trash can ready….no additional work needs to be done….err……well I guess you still have to pitch it.

  • Rufus Dsouza

    I like Harold Camping better !!!
    He got it right THREE TIMES !!!