Trump Reportedly No Longer Considering Pope Francis As Running Mate

July 13, 2015 by  
Filed under Politics

Close to a week after presidential nominee Donald Trump called Mexicans “rapists” and “disease carriers,” the 69-year-old business mogul has now decided not to ask Pope Francis to run as his vice presidential nominee after learning that the Pontiff speaks Spanish.

“Mr. Trump has decided that, though the Pope is not Mexican, he still represents a threat to the U.S. because Argentina and Mexico are practically the same thing, if you know what I’m saying,” a Trump advisor told EOTT this morning. “Citizens of both countries speak the same language, and they speak it fast, and traffic drugs, and rape people.”

The advisor also added that, outside the facts stated above, and the fact that the “might-as-well-be-Mexican Pope,” stands for nearly the complete opposite of everything Trump does, the Pope would have been a perfect running mate.

“Mr. Trump would like me to express the fact that he is nevertheless excited to meet with the Pope when he visits the U.S., and just hopes that [Francis] does not take advantage of the American people’s hospitality by taking one of their jobs while he’s here.”

  • samton909

    That’s OK. According to John Allen, Pope Francis is trying to get South America to form one big country. I imagine the Pope has his eye on being the First “El Presidente” of this New “United States of South America”.

    He will renounce the Papacy, and will demand that Evo Morales be installed as the next Pope, since he wants someone just like him to take over.

    • ithakavi

      Evo drills for oil. That’s now a mortal sin.

  • Vince M Sr

    I find it inconceivable that such a small thing as language would cause such a major fall out between the two.
    I am sure they would have been great friends long after their term in office was over,
    I can see their forward thinking platform by The Donald:

    Minimum wage could be dropped since the generosity of Corporations will lead to expansion of the already generous giving of condoms and birth control pills to keep the excess surplus population from getting out of hand!

    Work houses and debtors prisons could be reinstated as a platform of the Donald to insure housing for abandoned children and delinquents as well.

    Social welfare programs which currently benefit the already rich corporations would be stripped away so companies would be allowed to accept the workers labor in exchange for allow working to sleep in their cars and tents and cardboard boxes with their families in the company parking lots where they work. This benefit for workers who struggle to put gasoline in their cars by eliminating the need for a long commute and further decreasing the need for government hand outs. School buses could be parked at the parking lot as well and instead of wasting fuel could just sit there and become education centers for the homeless, (ok they have a car to sleep in so are they really homeless?), Most likely the families would reap the benefit of no longer having to buy shoes for the children since they will no longer have to walk great distances to school, thus saving the families money which would be spent on cable TV and highspeed internet and better cell phones.
    Churches could set up on site soup kitchens to feed the workers and children who can prove they were born in America, North or South but not Canadians since they already are a socialist country and we don’t want no socialists living here!
    Drug laws would be reversed making it illegal for poor people not to take them. By having the people use drugs they will no longer feel their lives are worth anything more then their next fix and since they would never be sober, they would never realize just how miserable their lives are.
    Oh well such a dream now wasted away…

    • Razanir

      *cough* satire *cough*

      • Vince M Sr

        yea I know… I have a friend whose rich sister hates the Pope because he is a communist according to her because he tells us to aid the poor.

        • ithakavi

          [Being serious for a moment.] I very much doubt that any orthodox sincere Catholic ‘hates’ the Holy Father. Personally, I love the Holy Father; despite the fact that I disagree with him on many matters outside the legitimate sphere of Magisterial Infallibility – and despite the fact that I find many of his pronouncements on matters of faith and morals to be confusing. The Church is not just another club (like the Church of England or Rotary). It was established by Christ on on the foundation of Peter, and Francis is the legitimate successor to Peter. It is protected by the Holy Spirit, and the Gates of Hell will not prevail against her. That being said, orthodox faithful Catholics are allowed to disagree on some matters. And perhaps as importantly, orthodox faithful Catholics are allowed the luxury of humor and satire (both the self-deprecating and the acid varieties). Frankly, I think you take yourself much too seriously.

          • Vince M Sr

            my original comment was a joke the comment about my friend was / is not as for me taking myself too seriously well i take Mathew 25 very seriously

          • ithakavi

            As do we all.

  • Timotheos

    What’s particularly ironic here is the Newsmax commercial I’m getting to take the poll for Trump as President…

  • ithakavi

    But The Donald does want to bid on the Communist Crucifix for his Tchotchke cabinet.

  • ithakavi

    I would think that he’d dig up Francis’ complaint about the “Mexicanization” of Argentina and then have a couple of mate’s together.

  • Jude

    And yet Trump is still correct.

  • Hotrod1962

    As of a few months ago, before Trumps announced, I would of loved a Trump/Pope ticket. As a matter of fact, I almost ordered a Trum/Pope 2016 bumper sticker. It’s a good thing I didn’t. Lately the Pope with all his anti-capitalism, global warming stuff is making me think twice,……….Go Trump/Burke 2016 !!!

    • Jim

      “Trum/Pope”–that’s great!

      • Hotrod1962

        Thanks for noticing my little play on words on the bumper sticker. It wasn’t a typo. A graphic artist could do justice to that logo.

  • Benjamin Warren

    I don’t know what Trump said, but give the guy a break. Virtually no one else is talking about the deleterious effect that Mexicans are having on America.

    • The Bodacious Professor

      I’m waiting to hear what Trump has to say about white Americans who are not reproducing at a rate that will guarantee our survival.

    • The Bodacious Professor

      P.S. I’m sorry about the fact that a Mexican took your lawnmowing job, and your wife’s job cleaning hotels. They really are screwing us up.

      • I am not Spartacus

        LMAO This is rich. A professor reinforcing the stereotype of Manuel Labor.

  • Chip Thome

    I’m happy Trump picked the county to save and not the church. As much as I love him, I just can’t see Pope The Donald actually working out real well.

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  • Wildgraywolf

    Seriously, I don’t think they’d have made a good match anyway – it’s the hair.

  • carole

    After reading some of these comments, I am more afraid for America than ever before. I don’t know whether some of you don’t understand what is satire or not, or whether there has been too much inbreeding in your family, but in either case….please don’t vote. Most of you are idiots. The Pope was never on Trump’s ticket…sheesh. Argentina is nothing like Mexico, except they speak Spanish. Many citizens of Argentina speak English and GERMAN. I left the Catholic Church over 40 years ago, but this Pope is the kindest and smartest one ever in office. He truly follows in the steps of Jesus. And no, I’m not religious either. I just know intelligence when I hear and I know Trump’s a big blow-hard, woman-hater that truly knows nothing of governments workings. You think he’s POTUS material? What’s your IQ, Billy Bob Bubba????

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