Devout Catholic Becomes Atheist After Watching Movie “Heaven Is For Real”

January 15, 2016 by  
Filed under Parish Life

Describing the movie Heaven Is For Real as one of the most obnoxious and heavy-handed movies he’d ever seen, local Catholic Dennis Macias told EOTT this morning that he’s decided to become an atheist.

The 26-year-old California man, who had been planning on entering the religious life this June, formally withdrew his application to the monastery after having what he called “the most terrifying 99-minute experience” of his life.

“The movie had just ended when I began to seizure because of the trauma caused by the hour and a half vision of hell I was forced to watch,” a teary-eyed Macias said, reliving his life-altering experience. “I remember just leaning back after the seizure and wondering how a God can exist and allow such things to happen to people like myself. Why would he allow such bad acting and such a crazy story? Why would he test his people like that? You’re telling me that a kid tells his father that he saw a man in a picture while he was passed out in surgery and that’s that? And we’re supposed to just believe him? Literally, the dad takes out a picture of a his deceased father and asks whether the boy saw the man in the picture, and the kid says ‘yes.’ And then he goes on and on about all the random people he saw.”

Macias went on to explain how his place in the universe simply began to shrink and shrink as the movie went along until, finally, 99-minutes later, he did not feel in anyway “significant in the grand scheme of life.”

  • diane

    See what damage really bad movies can do to your beliefs? I just had a wonderful idea. Maybe someone could make a really bad movie about feminism. Oh wait . . .

    • I would be wary of that. I mean this guy was about to enter religious life and that movie swung him to opposites.
      I am not sure what the opposite of feminism is but I say be wary.

  • Stuck in the Vortex

    Actually, such films can be a useful recruiting tool for the Catholic Church. How many fundamentalists, surrounded by such cinematic ‘gems’ such as “Left Behind” or “God’s not dead”, have fled to the warm, receptive arms of the Holy Mother Church, with it’s “La Passion de Jeanne d’Arc” or “The Flowers of St. Francis”.

    I can only but weep for those poor suffering scientologists.

    • jed14

      Hate to break it to you, but Carl Dreyer was a Protestant and Rossellini was an atheist.

      • Mark

        Also, the Archbishop of Paris banned Catholics from seeing La Passion de Jeanne d’Arc. The Vatican did quite like Francesco, giullare di Dio, though.

  • samton909

    That’s OK, the loss of a few people due to “Heaven is real” is counterbalanced by the millions upon millions that David Bowie brought into the church.

  • Darn liberals ate my bible

    He should try watching Life is beautiful, that movie turned me into a transgendered pack of Cookies.

    • samton909

      It has been scientifically proven that if you watch both movies back to back, you become a transgendered atheist.

  • Wildgraywolf

    I had just convinced myself this movie was the result of a hallucination I had from eating too much Chinese food.

    • Mr. Graves

      The dangers of too much MSG will be the subject of the next Vatican light show.

      • Mind Screwed Greatly is a dangerous disease, it has been the cause of many of my own dreams

  • The man should have watched it on 4K HD or something high tech like that. Or just watch The Sixth Sense (1999) – “I see dead people.”… at least he’d become a pagan not an atheist.

    • Monk

      Oh, I don’t know about recommending non-Catholic filmography as the “lesser of evils”. I’ll patiently wait for the Life of Anthony of Egypt to come out on film, or the Wit and Wisdom of the Desert Fathers, if I’m in the mood for a little comedy.

      • If Wit and Wisdom of the Desert Fathers becomes Comedy, then, it better be Shakespearean or Dante Divine … anything short would be an unfunny joke.

  • MoonRiver

    American arse holes thinking themselves Catholic. Who’d have thunk it.

    Retarded – like your attempts at “humour”.

  • Richardson McPhillips

    No need to lose his vocation. Send him to the Soc.