Francis To Visit Kansas To Commemorate 26th Anniversary Of Pope Michael Election To Papacy

February 5, 2016 by  
Filed under Vatican

The Vatican has announced that Pope Francis will visit Kansas in July to commemorate the 26th anniversary of Pope Michael’s election to the papacy, just months before visiting Sweden to commemorate the 500th anniversary of the Protestant Reformation.

During the July 16th trip to Kansas, Francis will take part in a joint prayer service with the conclavist community, the Vatican reported earlier this week.

Word of the visit to Kansas was reported Monday, after Francis learned that Michael would not be able to make it to Rome for what the Vatican was calling, “Remorsapalooza.”

The announcement was made during the Week of Prayer for Christian Unity, where Francis asked forgiveness “for the sins of our divisions that were, one hundred percent of the time, caused by the Church.”

“It’s all our fault,” Francis told leaders from the Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, and atheist communities. “To the Muslim community, I ask forgiveness for beginning the crusades. To our protestant brethren, we ask forgiveness for everything we did to cause the Reformation. And we ask forgiveness to our Jewish brethren for everything that happened to your community in consequence of the crucifixion. Definitely our fault.”

Francis went on to admit that every bad thing that had ever happened in the history of man, even those that took place before Christianity “was the fault of the Catholic Church,” before going on to lash himself for the Church’s sins for nearly three hours.

“We cannot erase what happened before, but we do not want to allow the weight of past wounds to continue to contaminate our relations,” Francis said at Rome’s Basilica of St. Paul Outside the Walls. “Therefore, I offer St. Paul Outside the Walls to Pope Michael and all the tens of people that he shepherds.”

  • Thomas J. Ryan

    Why not. Unless Michael offers the TLM, this seems plausible

  • Philip Sieve

    This sounds like a hoax article, except for the ecumenical pity via apology party they all have kept doing since, at least, Pope John Paul 2. I think one mention of our excesses of zeal was enough. BTW, The first crusade liberated Christian lands from their Muslim conquerors. I like traditional Catholicism, but “Pope” Michael is a an imposter pope and should not be encouraged anymore than the heretics he has in high positions of influence.

    • TedCoates

      You do realize that this is a satire site… ?

      • Philip Sieve

        Satire would probably be the Pope excommunicating all the heretics he has running the synod and returning Card Burke to his rightful previous position-‘you know, feeding the sheep things he probably won’t do as he goes about fighting windmills. .

    • Faith Cecelia Jacobs

      Oh good grief, of course its a hoax article!!! Its called satire!

    • NJ Yankee in King Obama’s Cour

      Nope. definitely, a 100% seriously, accurate article. No, really.

      • Adam Hovey

        Oh yeah, totally serious.

    • Adam Hovey

      Yep. Vatican II was heretical and Pope John Paul I was killed by Vatican agents, and the third secret of Fatima was that the church only exists in “traditionalist” communities.

      • Stephen

        Nothing unusual about a 33 day pontificate. A gallon of fresh milk lasts longer. V2 is not heretical cause its only pastoral remember. Fatima becomes cleare everyday.

      • William Congdon

        Pope John Paul I was killed by the Mafia. Didn’t you see the movie?

    • Mises Hayek

      Its satire

  • Philip Sieve

    I didn’t read about it. Someone posted it on Facebook. Considering he let the SSPX give licit confessions and had a radical environmentalist be his advisor on environmental issues, nothing he does or is alleged to have done surprises me, anymore.

    • TedCoates

      Tinfoil hat alert! Tinfoil hat alert!

      • Philip Sieve

        What conspiracy have I written of? Do you read any news about the Catholic world? No wonder your satire was lame. I’m issuing a head in rear alert for you.

        • TedCoates

          The term applies not just to conspiracy, theorists, bozo, but also to any kind paranoid weirdo, and Greatest Catholics of All Time™ types like you certainly qualify.

          • Philip Sieve

            I missed what conspiracy theory I put down. I merely recalled news about Pope Francis from regular news sources. You have no idea what is going on and, until you do, your satire will sound like normal news.

          • Philip Sieve

            BTW, you obviously think conspiracy theorists are paranoid, so you were just redundant, debate star. I also miss how I sound like I’m the greatest Catholic of all time. I know I would have much to answer for at my particular judgment, but you seem to think your Catholicism and humor (if you are one of the staff of the site) are airtight, because you ridicule those who criticize you. That’s when you should know you’re in the wrong. Lose the hubris, for one thing. Next, learn how to debate using one’s words against them; not your delusions about those who disagree with your thinking.

            “Buddy Jesus” statue in “Dogma”, not the movie, was good satire, because it made just fun of the aggiornamento.


          PHILLIP SIEVE, You are NUTS!

      • Adam Hovey

        Puppet masters, new world order, be afraid, there’s all ways someone that’s watching you


      You must b a SEDEVACANTIST

      • TedCoates

        LOL, Rachel…

      • EmpressJadis

        Shedevacantist, you mean. All alone in a shed or log cabin at the end of a dilapidated garden in a run-down suburb, worshipping himself with a couple of wacko gullible old ladies in attendance.

      • Philip Sieve

        I bet uou’re the type that preaches nonjudgmentalism, except for those you find to be judgmental. Jesus had a problem with hypocrisy. I am not afiliated with the traditionalists, “progressives”, mainstream devout, charismatic, the lukewarm, etc. I do, however, recognize the authority of the bishops where it reaches, which is why I distrust the disobedience at Medjugorje. I call it as I see it. As I see it is informed by the collected wisdom of the wiser Catholics of history, many of whom were pre-Vatican 2. After that, most got silly and that is why so many practically left parishes and religious houses, if not totally so.

    • Adam Hovey

      “Bomb SUVs”-Pope Francis

    • Hospitaler
      • Philip Sieve

        Genius counteragument, debate team leader.

  • samton909

    I like the picture of them praying in Pope Michael’s fort. His Mom is so nice to let him use the dining room chairs to hold up the sides of the fort.

    • Pope Michael

      Excuse. Me. I just did not have the talent to sheet-rock the whole place. I spent good money on the plastic at a yard-sale.

      • Pope Michael

        I’m not saying I don’t have talent. I’m saying not in that area.

    • Wildgraywolf

      Well, that’s only because mom’s basement ceiling was to low.

  • John Magee

    Bush is responsible!

  • Marie Van Gompel Alsbergas

    I just can’t WAIT for the clearance/moving out/EVERYTHING.MUST.GO yard sale in St. Peter’s Square when PopFrankie moves to Avignon!

    • NJ Yankee in King Obama’s Cour

      WHAT??!! Pope Frankie’s moving to Avignon???!!!!

      • Valerien

        You’d prefer Pope Frankie goes to Hollywood?

        • Adam Hovey


      • Marie Van Gompel Alsbergas

        Or was that Stockholm? Wittenberg? I forget now …

  • Robert Sledz

    It is a hoax website

    • NJ Yankee in King Obama’s Cour

      No, the website is real. So, is the article. However, the facts in the article are a hoax. Let’s be metaphysically accurate here…

      • samton909

        No, the website is real, and the article is real, It just contains facts that did not happen.

        • Joe

          So this is actually a mainstream media report?

          • Adam Hovey

            This wins the interwebs

  • Magystelling

    .My first .visit to this site, must discern whether I .will return!!! Excuse me while flip my discernment coin!!!

  • David Truman

    I love Eye of the Tiber. Good fun.
    That said, this article is mildly disquieting by setting up a sort of “moral equivalence between the Crusades on the one hand (which were a very belated, defensive response to Muslim conquests and persecution), and the Reformation and Anti-Semitism on the other.

    The Reformation happened because of SIN in the Body of Christ. That sin was not limited to one side as the Reformation developed, but the split might have been avoidable. Once the split occurred, and people started reading and interpreting the scriptures outside the monopoly of the priesthood, issues were bound to to arise in the divergence between scripture and church tradition.

    And Anti-Semitism is a blot on the history of the Church as a whole. Luther was antisemitic too. I am glad that the Catholic Church disowned this past in Nostra Aetate (October 28, 1965). The Orthodox Church needs to come to this party too.

    • Monk

      “… the monopoly of the priesthood …”
      Is that sort of like the monopoly of the Apostles? Or the monopoly of the Magisterium?

      • MamaFactotum

        If you’re playing monopoly of the priesthood, do you have a zuchetta instead of a top hat? In rectories, do they fight over who gets to use the red slipper piece? I’m envisioning a super long confessional line square instead of a jail square.

    • schmenz


      Perhaps before accusing the Catholic Church of antisemitism (an odd accusation given that the Church was founded by Christ) you might wish to peruse this recent brilliant article by scholar William P Fall:

      • Susan
        • schmenz


          Praying that the Jews convert and become Catholics is not what I would term “anti-Judaism”. Our Lord commanded his disciples to “teach all nations:, and I don’t recall him excluding the Jews from this command. Helping them to save their souls by coming into the Church is the greatest act of charity we could perform for them.

          To gain a better understanding of what the Church teaches about these people it might be helpful to avoid books like the one you referred to. The author’s attempt to besmirch the reputation of Christ’s Church in this way does not correspond to the truth of the matter. It would be better to read honest hisgtorians with no axes to grind and are not consumed with anti-Catholic prejudices. If I could suggest one author to begin with, it would be the brilliant historian William Thomas Walsh.

          • Pope Michael

            Also my book. It really helps in cases such as these.

        • Giftherbert Gifther

          Hi dear with due respect and honor please me,My name is giftherbert and i would appreciate if you can write me back on my box .i have an important message to tell will be waiting for your email.Thanks and take care, ([email protected]) Thanks,

      • David Truman

        I have read this article with interest, some agreement and some consternation.

        I agree that Modernism is a great curse. It afflicts Protestantism severely (though not all of it – I will pass over the gambit that Protestantism is itself a “modernism”). It is also certainly evident in pronouncements of Pope Francis.

        Modernism and allied progressivism – excessive belief in human reason (the god of the French Enlightenment) – are a curse of arrogance.

        I have absolutely zero truck with Freemasonry. I believe that both it and Islam are Satanic. On the latter point, this is why I deplore the insertion into the Catechism after Vatican II of #841 which refers to Muslims as among those “who profess the faith of Abraham”. A counterfeit and a lie are not a faith but a deception.

        The article takes the hard line “no salvation outside the Catholic Church” line. And it quotes Hosea (Osee) 9:`17 “My God will cast them away, because they hearkened not to him; and they shall be wanderers among the nations” as a PERMANENT prophecy justifying supersessionist theology – replacement of the Jews as the Children of the Promise with the church.

        I totally reject this theology.

    • Hospitaler

      Are you off your meds?! What the heck are you drinking there down-under?

    • David,
      You seem to have good historical hindsight, 40/20?
      Also, seems you have good private revelations as to the cause or avoidability of the Reformabellion. Do you by chance hold office in a Heavenly Insurance Company?

  • Topeka is a magnet for crazy…

    • Who said anything about Topeka?

      • “Pope” Michael lives in the area, not in KC.

        • It does not count, where the pope lives…his chair is in KC, ergo, his im-mediate jurisdiction.

          • Serious note to readers: it appears that Leofec Network does not recognize the authority of Pope Francis. Please keep Leofec Network in your prayers, that he or she may be opened to the truth.

          • I hope you are not being what Hamlet called the “satirical fool”? Between ‘Pope’ Francis and ‘Pope’ Michael, who is the bigger fake Pope?

            Serious note to readers: it appears that joeddady27 does not recognize the authority of Eye of the Tiber. Please DO NOT keep joeddady27 in your prayers, that SHE or IT may be opened to satire – (no point praying!).

          • Philip Sieve

            Neither do a good portion of western clergy still, somehow, in good standing with Rome. Take the board from your eyes.

          • samton909

            Pope Francis does not recognize the authority of Pope Francis, so it all comes out in the wash.

          • VeilOfTiers

            Is that the KC that’s the seat of the infamous National Fishwrap or is it the other KC?

            I sense a conspiracy…

          • And then the illuminati went and put F in between KC to dislodge his papacy – look what they came up with, monster GMOed chickens.

          • samton909

            Both are so far out there you wonder about their sanity.

  • We from Kansas also demand the return of Archangel Michael’s first class relic. Now that we have our own pope – that the Vatican recognises – it only befits that the holy feathers stolen by the crusaders be returned in this Francis’ visit.

    2016 is going to be awesome. Finally Rome approves DIY Catholicism.
    Pope Michael trained himself after he dramatically left the SSPX, then ordained himself, then consecrated himself, then with the help of his mom – for, two good heads are better than one – he was installed Pope of the Holy Kansas Empire —hurray two cheers for DIY!!

    • Kathryn Coe

      looks like I’ll have to create a new Pinterest board….

  • Wulfrano Ruiz Sainz

    This what constant masturbation does to your brain.

  • Hotrod1962

    I guess that Pope Michael’s partially eaten corndog from the Kansas State Fair that I bought on Ebay will be worth a lot more now.

    • samton909

      I bid one billion Sesterces

      • Hotrod1962

        Make it two billion, throw in a corndog, and you got a deal.

        • Pope Michael

          Damn, I knew I should have burnt that in the fire in my moms basement.

  • Mark Lister

    In a show of ecumenism, Pope Michael has graciously agreed to apologize for the University of Kansas football team.

    • Mr. Graves

      And Francis is reportedly willing to declare dogmatically that Argentina’s 2014 World Cup trouncing by Germany was “the just and admirable will of God.”

  • Pope Michael

    Why is everyone hating on me? This site makes me sick. It’s probably part of the 30% of the Web That I talked about in my documentary.

  • Wildgraywolf

    For one I thing Pope Francis has the better tailor and for another; the term “Remorsapalooza” sounds like something you’d experience after eat, drink and be merry.

  • ithakavi

    I followed the narrative up to the penultimate paragraph where is is claimed he lashed himself for the sins of the Church. I don’t recall the Holy Father ever implicating himself in any of the bad stuff. Or any other Jesuit for that matter.

  • pat

    I think Pope Michael would have to lower his standards…