Francis Urges Americans To Build Wall Around Trump

February 19, 2016 by  
Filed under Politics

Image:Michael Vadon

Image:Michael Vadon

Pope Francis said Thursday that presidential candidate Donald Trump “is not Christian” if he calls for a wall between the United States and Mexico, and urged Americans to build a wall around the New York businessman.

The Pope was traveling back to Rome from Mexico where he urged both the United States and Mexico to address the “Trump crisis” by coming together to build a wall around Trump to help keep citizens of both countries safe.

“A person who thinks only about building walls, wherever they may be, and not building an additional wall around himself to shelter the American people from the dangers of a clinically insane casino owner, is not Christian, for he only thinks of himself, and not the mental safety of the people,” the Pope told journalists.

Trump immediately fired back, calling Francis’ comments “disgraceful.”

“No leader, especially a religious leader, should have the right to question another man’s religion or faith,” he said in a statement. “Especially when that man has changed his beliefs more times than he can count, and now can’t even figure out which faith and belief the Pope is insulting.”

“Listen, the man’s a total loser,” Trump continued. “Sure he’s pope, but it took him two tries. He finished second to 78-year-old man in the last election. And if you listen to the people that comment in the Catholic blogosphere, the man’s not even Catholic. He would never have been voted into office if the Church allowed all the Catholics in the world to vote. Listen, you want a winner in the Vatican? Elect me. Make Catholicism great again!

  • Pope Michael

    Vote for me. I promise to make Donald Trump bake a Mexican a cake. And then make Pope Francis never fly on planes again. Give him a boat, or something else for God’s sake.

  • Sr. Mary Brigid

    Better yet, we could build a bridge out of him.

    https://youtu.be/zrzMhU_4m-g?t=1m55s

    • Matt Kososki

      I got this before I saw the embedded video.

      • David W

        I can’t see the video, but I did too

    • wlinden

      But can you not also make bridges out of Rearden Metal?

  • Andy

    Added the Holy Father: “And, let’s make him pay for it! He’s loaded (when he’s not bankrupt).”

  • samton909

    We don’t need no education.
    No dark sarcasm in the classroom
    Hey! Pope!
    Leave that Trump alone.

    • Maggie

      Ding ding!

  • wlinden

    We can seize his space by eminent domain.

  • Monk

    Next, Trump will demand to see Francis’ baptismal certificate … and maybe his seminary grades.

  • James Rattan

    “Listen, the man’s a total loser,” Trump continued. “Sure he’s pope, but
    it took him two tries. He finished second to 78-year-old man in the
    last election.”

  • Adam Hovey

    Not a bad idea (on a different note, he just won the GOP primary in my state, do NOT blame me for it).

  • If Trump built a wall around the Vatican, so high to stifle antiPope Francis’ airplanes, the world might yet be saved from this fake apostle’s evangelisation.

  • john654
  • Hotrod1962

    Just heard this on the news……since the pope has back tracked on his comment about Trump, Trump just announced plans for a Trump-Vatican Hotel, Casino, and Conference center. The Sistine Chapel Ceiling will be moved to the massive lobby, and, a monorail will be built from the hotel straight to behind the main alter of St. Peters. Trump just announced: “this is a great deal for all of us, unlike the Chinese who are robbing us blind. The only concession I had to make…..and I respect pope, he’s a tough guy….is no meat served at The Apostles Buffet during lent……I gotta tell ya….I’ll make America great again….and I’ll make the Vatican great again….plus, I’ll save some dough….won’t have to build a wall, popes got a pretty damn good one already”.

    • Who is going to pay for the building of this plan the Pope and the Swiss guard? He’ll make ’em!

  • Wildgraywolf

    Walls are expensive; all he really needs is a good quality gag reinforced with duct tape.

    • This is where pronouns get very crucial. To whom does the ‘he’ refer, the Pope or Trump? – decide wisely!

      • Wildgraywolf

        Hahaha! I didn’t realize… so, funny… For humor’s sake I might just keep those pronouns to myself.

  • ithakavi

    Trump then announced plans for a hostile takeover of Domus Sancate Marthae, to be renamed Il Trumpe Tiberi, complete with casino and an 18 hole championship golf course in the Vatican Gardens.