Cardinal Sarah Gives Permission For Priests To Have Their Feet Washed By 12 Women

March 24, 2016 by  
Filed under Vatican

Image: WikiCommons

Image: WikiCommons

Priest are not obligated to wash the feet of women during the Mass on Holy Thursday, though they are permitted to have twelve women wash their feet, the prefect of the Congregation for Divine Worship and Discipline of the Sacraments said in a statement last night.

Cardinal Sarah told EOTT in Rome last night that a priest “has to decide in accord with his own conscience whether or not some type of oil or lotion is to be administered to his feet during the foot-washing.”

Sarah went on to say that the use of a pumice stone would also permitted, “once again, according the priest’s conscience.”

“This permission is granted to priests not only in gratitude for their service to the Church, but for the countless number of rancid feet they have washed during past Holy Thursday Masses. The authorization was to be granted even before Pope Francis’ permission given to priests to wash the feet not only of men, but those of women as well, but as his approval came out before mine, women now also have the privilege of acting in what we can call an in persona Christi minor, acting as Christ in the Last Supper.”

“After careful consideration”, Sarah continued, “I have also decided to make a change to the Roman Missal. I therefore decree that the section according to which those persons chosen for the washing of the priest’s feet must be women, so that from now on pastors of the Church may choose the participants in the rite from among all the members of the People of God.”

  • Jim

    Let’s just hope we don’t find out that Cardinal Sarah’s brother-in-law owns a nard business.

    • Hotrod1962

      Okay…..I have to admit, I had to look up what nard was…….until I realized I bought a half-gallon if the stuff in Costco years ago and I forgot I stuck it in the back if my bathroom vanity.

      • Monk

        That’s the problem with bulk packaging. If you bought the pre-moistened, disposable nardolettes, you might have been more inclined to use them.

  • Sr. Mary Brigid

    Add that the women would have to dry the priests’ feet with their hair, and this might actually work.

    • And alabaster – don’t forget! – cheap alabaster – you don’t want Francis and Judas hassling you.
      Oh, and the women, after the whole thing, must go off and become saints. No two way about it.

    • More Tea Vicar?

      As long as their wigs don’t fall off in the process…

  • RantingCatholicMom

    Do the women have to dry the feet with their hair? Mine isn’t long enough;)

  • Nesrad

    It has been reported that pope Francis, hoping to set an example in the wake of Laudato Si, has washed the feet of 8 men, 2 women and a bonsai tree by watering its roots with the dirty foot water.

    • Lies crafty-sick: the posts come tiring on,
      And not a man of them brings other news
      Than they have learn’d of me: from Rumour’s tongues
      They bring smooth comforts false, worse than
      true wrongs.

      – RUMOUR

    • I heard differently: the bonsai is the man in the relationship

    • samton909

      Justice Kennedy has issued an opinion ruling that the Constitution permits such marriages. So long as the bonsai tree is of age.

  • Monk

    Well, podophilia is probably an improvement over worse scandals of recent memory.

    • Being head over heels for wemen’s feet was enough bad. Now it is manuphilia. Oh, confusion! thou hast wrought thy masterpiece.

    • More Tea Vicar?

      … or a game of This Little Piggy?

  • Marie Van Gompel Alsbergas

    I wish that SOMEBODY would go “Toe to Toe” with Bergoglio, and not in a Tango.

    • TedCoates

      Marie Van Gompel Alsbergas’s Disqus profile is rife with puerile, ill-informed disrespect for His Holiness. She is best ignored.

      • Marie Van Gompel Alsbergas

        Thanks, TedCoates! Silly and trivial comments on a satirical site would seem to be appropriate. Thank you for following my profile, that is quite the compliment!

        I have a profound respect for the Bishop of Rome, Vicar of Jesus Christ, Successor of the Prince of the Apostles, Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church, Primate of Italy, Archbishop and Metropolitan of the Roman Province, Sovereign of the State of Vatican City, Servant of the Servants of God. However, I dislike Jorge Bergoglio. That may change in time, but that is really none of your business unless you wish to help me learn more about this person. Generally, ostracization is ineffective, Ted. Be blessed.

        • And, pray tell us, the reason you dislike Jorge Bergoglio? Are you insinuating that he is not a fit or the chiefest Primate of Italy? Answer wisely!

          Can not an Argentine be a Primate of another Country? What are the international laws on Zoology these days?

          • Netmilsmom

            He is pretty confusing, dances close to the edge in one breath and goes canonballing into the pool of canon law (pun intended) in the next. We’ve had less than stellar Popes before, this could be another.
            There is no reason why that poster, who made a pretty punny joke, needs to show her Catholic card. Afterall, there’s no reason to call in the Spanish Inquisition.

  • His mom was a women, so was his sisters. For all we know his foots has always ever been washed by the wemen in his house. Don’t blame Cardinal Judith – oh, or … what’s in a name!!?? – words, words, words!!

  • samton909

    It doesn’t matter what Cardinal Sarah says. In his upcoming Apostolic Exhortation on the family, the Pope will instead insist that the Holy Thursday foot washing be done away with, to be replaced by a performance of “Grease”

    • Monk

      So, I guess ‘Adoro te devote’ will be replaced by ‘Hopelessly devoted to you’.

  • Hotrod1962

    He failed to mention that the council of Ephesus (431) banned Gold Bond Medicated Foot Powder as being “too refreshing, diminishing the suffering of our Lord”.

  • More Tea Vicar?

    What does Canon Law say about the temperature of the water, the thread count of the cotton towels and the amount of Radox that’s required? Do we administer the corn plasters?