Report: Priest Doing That Stupid Thing Where He Walks Up And Down Aisle During Homily

April 21, 2016 by  
Filed under Mass

Image: ChipSomodevilla/Getty Images Europe

Image: ChipSomodevilla/Getty Images Europe

Being asked about how their weekends were going, parishioners at St. Luke Parish announced Sunday that Fr. Todd Bunnell is, yet again, leaving the podium and making his way down to the aisle to preach the homily.

According to reports, he’s doing that Protestant thing where he walks up and down the aisle, trying to get people excited and more engaged in the Mass.

“I see what he’s trying to accomplish,” one parishioner said, trying her best not to make eye contact with Bunnell, “but it’s just kinda weird and, in my opinion, stupid and awkward. I’d prefer he stayed up there and we stayed down here; just far enough where we don’t have to see the sweat glistening off his upper lip.”

Sources at the Mass told EOTT that although Bunnell typically stayed toward the center of the aisle, that today, he was getting way too comfy, entering their personal space as he passed the mic around for congregants to answer what they thought of what Jesus meant by turning the other cheek.

At press time, Bunnell is squeezing through a tight pew to give a high five to a boy that said that Jesus meant that we should be nice to mean people and to love Jesus like the disciples did “in the times of Jesus.”

  • Peter Sherwood Vanicelli

    Hopefully this will be nipped in the bud before the deacon starts doing it, too! If it gets much worse, he’ll start wandering the side aisles too!

    • More Tea Vicar?

      Bet you the deacon will start wearing those ridiculous Heelies trainers to Mass!

  • terryhjones
    • Cminor

      And here I was just going to say it could have been worse; at least he wasn’t on a hover board.

      • biblebeltedbetty

        It could have been worse. There could be altar boys running from under his cassock.

    • ithakavi

      Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo………………

    • Hotrod1962

      Watch out Father…Biff is chasing you !!!!

    • Quid

      Clown Mass (without the makeup).

  • Jim

    Do churches still have aisles? I thought we got rid of those.

    • wiffle

      I’m thinking church buildings waste time and money. We could go to drive through Eucharist kiosks. Dependence on the Bishop’s appeal could be reduced by selling coffee or super sized wine portions.

      • Hotrod1962

        Did’nt we discuss Eucharistic vending machines a while back?

        • Sr. Mary Brigid

          Yes, let’s not poach old comments, now.

          • Hotrod1962

            Sorry, Sister…….my deference to nuns has been instilled by a 12 inch piece of wood called a ruler.

        • wiffle

          This offers more selection and the human touch. 🙂

    • More Tea Vicar?

      No. A dual carriageway.

  • Casper

    That back wall looks like a bathroom. Also lovin’ the fluorescent lights above the pews.

    • Hotrod1962

      Looks like Jesus is in the shower.

    • ithakavi

      Designed by the younger brother of the guy who who did the plans for Cardinal Mahoney’s Los Angeles Monstrosity.

    • More Tea Vicar?

      The outside wall of the Manchester Arndale Shopping Centre in England had a similar looking wall to the one in the photograph up until 1996 when an IRA bomb blew up half the city centre, causing millions of pounds worth of improvements!

  • samton909

    C’mon, give the guy a break. They only do that aisle walking schtick when they have to go to the bathroom. If he remained in one place, at the front of the church, he would have to do that jiggle-from-one-foot-to-another thing, and that would not look right.

    • More Tea Vicar?

      *tsk!* It gets worse when he starts Moonwalking like Michael Jackson in Dutch clogs … or Michael Flatley with a bad case of piles.

  • Wildgraywolf

    Interesting… Now, my parish priest sorta wobbles around during his homily. If you look at him too long you get the sensation you’re he one wobbling and the priest is standing still. Creepy.

    • biblebeltedbetty

      Priests are creepy even when they don’t wobble. I wouldn’t let my kid anywhere near a self-proclaimed fifty-year-old male virgin, who never masturbates, in a dog collar. Catholic connoisseurs of choir boys need to be neutered and kept on a leash at all times.

  • Monk

    Well, if Fr. Todd is going to take a stroll through the nave of the church, maybe some parishioners should amble into the sanctuary and hang out there. Oh, wait ….

    • biblebeltedbetty

      If the parishioners are MINORS they should NOT be anywhere near the sanctuary or a priest without a RESPONSIBLE ADULT present at all times.

  • Sonny Moon

    Things started to go downhill when they introduced that whole “let us offer one another a sign of peace” thing.

  • More Tea Vicar?

    Perhaps the priest in the picture thinks he’s one of those stage hypnotists: ”… and you’re back in the room!”