SSPX Chess Player Creates Bishop Pieces Without World Chess Federation Approval

October 4, 2016 by  
Filed under Mass

Image: Benjamin Fishman

Image: Benjamin Fishman

Society of St. Pius X chess grandmaster Larcel Mafebvre has turned four of his pieces into bishops without approval from the World Chess Federation, officials have confirmed.

“Mr. Mafebvre has, without approval from the Federation, created bishops out of pawn pieces,” said World Chess Federation head Antonio Salamanca. “After speaking with Mr. Mafebvre regarding abiding by the new chess rules, wherein players are given the freedom to concelebrate the match, and to say the words of ‘checkmate’ in the vernacular, he has sadly decided to ignore our requests.”

Salamanca went on to tell reporters that Mafebvre had automatically incurred excheckommunication because of his disobedience.

“I must do what is in my conscience to preserve the dignity of the game,”  Mafebvre told EOTT in an exclusive interview. “Therefore, I have decided to consecrate four of my pieces into bishops to help my depleted side, for, from some Fischer, the smoke of Satan has entered the chessboard of God.”

At press time, one time follower of Larcel Mafebvre’s, Bavid Dawden, told EOTT that he has decided to become head of the World Chess Federation, though he only has three pawns to play with.

  • Adam Hovey

    Hopefully our sspx friends get a good kick out of that, although I’m skeptical that sspx folks can laugh.

    • Anthony

      I would be surprised if they DID laugh….eh-em… our friends at the Remnant…

      • Adam Hovey

        Oh yeah…them. Kind of like the Westboro Baptist church of Catholicism. I hate to sound rude but those folks scare me.

        • Bono95

          They scare me too, and I think they scare away non-Catholics who see them and think they represent the whole Church.

          • Adam Hovey

            You know I honestly feel the same way I think if it were not for these people a lot more folks to become Catholic and if that’s the only Catholic presence you have in your community do you really want to be part of it? There are many of these Splinter groups that will be like “Mass is invalid if it’s not in Latin”! yeah tell that to Jesus or Eastern Catholics. You know I understand having legitimate complaints about how the Liturgy doesn’t seem very respectful sometimes and that can’t be true, but I don’t think it gives folks the right to do things like call the pope a heretic especially when he’s not one

          • Bono95

            Amen. They’re very much like Protestants. They went too far with their legitimate complaints, took matters into their own hands, broke with the Church, disobeyed 3 Popes who’ve tied themselves in knots trying to win them back, and have all but called the (“post-councilar”) Church the Whore of Babylon.

          • samton909

            Most non Catholics do not know that the SSPX even exists. It was the clown masses, the Father Hippie types who scare away people from Catholicism.

        • Anthony

          Yeah, they REALLY need to stop calling themselves Catholic if all they do is sit there and criticize our Holy Father.

          • Adam Hovey

            It’s not even so much that it’s that they believe the pope is invalid because they believe he is a heretic I don’t know who taught them Catholicism but even if the pope were a heretic which is possible but unlikely even if the pope were a heretic he would still be the Pope.

          • Anthony

            You’re right – I knew that when I was typing that before, I guess I didn’t really feel the need to say that. But yeah, you’re spot on.

        • samton909

          Why do you criticize our wonderful Pope, who it seems is about to create a personal prelature to invite the SSPX back into the church?. Always with the criticism of the Holy Father. You accuse the Holy Father of wanting to embrace the “Westboro Baptist” of Catholicism. Three Hail Marys at least!

  • AuthenticBioethics

    At least he used valid chess pieces. The World Council of Chesses has no rules regarding the making of bishops and some its members have made bishops even of checkers and parcheesi pieces, which no SSPX chess master would ever do.

    • Manuel Buen Abad Najar

      Well played!

  • Casper

    What do they mean – – “concelebrate” the Mass? Our priest invites us to celebrate the Mass, and Reconciliation, too. So, let’s all celebrate away!

  • Vince M Sr

    In Philly you can buy a Bishop’s crown… was just done and I cringe to think that the position of Bishop can be bought in this day in age…Sorry for ranting about reality on a satire page…. but the article struck a nerve… Reality sucks…

    • Adam Hovey

      I don’t know about that but I know the people selling religious relics on eBay need to find out what the Church’s rules and regulations are on that

      • Mara319

        Some bishops may look like relics, but not all are religious. I don’t know if they’re sold at eBay, but maybe they are bought by… illegal aliens?

  • Bono95

    He also refused to play against Nazi Paikidze because she wouldn’t wear a veil. 😀

  • Bertrand Fellow

    I would like to make it clear that I unconditionally condemn these consecrations.

    http://thesocietyofsuchpiousgents.blogspot.co.uk/2015/03/bishop-william-richardson-statement.html