Second Year Of Mercy To Allow An Individual’s Conscience To Absolve One’s Own Sins

December 27, 2016 by  
Filed under Libs & Trads

The Vatican announced today that they will be opening a second Year of Mercy.

The initiative is intended to address the crisis in the sacrament of confession and is being called, “The Year of Mercy: A Second Helping.”

“Over half of the confessions in the Church today are invalid because the faithful actually do not believe any of their actions are sinful,” Cardinal Thomas Olvelli explained. “Without an actual sin confessed, the sacrament is invalid.”

“Many penitents find the confessional line burdensome and are not able to wait for confession. That is not mercy,”  The Cardinal went on to say. “During this new round of mercy, an individual will simply have the ability to have a deep, inward conversation with the Lord.  Then with prudent and mature reflection, that individual will determine, in the sanctity of his or her own conscience, that he or she has never actually committed any sins, and thus maintaining the sanctity of the sacrament.”

In addition, Olvelli announced that 10,000 newly appointed “Agents of the Second Helping” will begin circling the globe this January to close down all remaining confessionals.

One Agent of Mercy, Monsignor Alejandro Pipetti,  explained the initiative, saying, “Let’s face it, the confessional is a medieval torture chamber, designed to instill fear of the Lord into the faithful. How can the faithful begin to grow closer to the Lord if they fear Him? I believe it is better to have fear of one’s own conscience, especially since it can so easily be manipulated and told what is right and what is wrong. After all, there is no fear in that which you control.”

  • Robin

    There just may be those in the Church that would enthusiastically support this new Year of Mercy.

  • Frank Hammond

    The “team” can skip my church. We don’t have a confessional, just a room with chairs. No one uses it.

  • Gallibus

    If one deeply offends someone, then the relationship is damaged in the same degree; it cannot be restored without recognizing the nature of the offence and the degree of hurt that been given.

    To be forgiven, one has to acknowledge the actions giving rise to the hurt and act so that the consequences of the offence are remedied as far as possible and regret and sorrow for causing the hurt has been expressed to the person offended.

    It stands to reason that, if there is no intention to stop causing the hurt, the relationship cannot be restored, and the insincere apology will add insult to injury.

    Just so with our relationship to the Lord.

    The Lord has provided us with the way to make the sincere apology and to resolve to take the remedial actions in the Sacrament of Confession. It is a foolish soul that cannot recognize this great opportunity to re-establish good relations with the Lord and one’s neighbor. Not everyone who calls “Lord! Lord!” will enter heaven. The answer can be “I never knew you!’

    • MamaFactotum

      An excellent exhortation on the necessity of Confession…and this is exactly WHY the article is so satirically funny.

  • Casper

    But, but… how will the “penitents” know what penance to perform? Maybe the Agents of Mercy can help!

  • Reality

    This is some sort of prank…right…?