Pope Francis Calls For More Vatican Nukes In Annual Christmas Message

December 28, 2016 by  
Filed under Politics

Just days after Pope Francis offered a message of hope in his annual “Urbi et Orbi” Christmas day message, the Pontiff has now backtracked, saying that if peace could not prevail, he would be forced to join the United States and Russia in an arms race.

Pope Francis told EOTT in an exclusive interview this morning that “We will outmatch Russia and the U.S. at every pass and outlast them all, both spiritually as well as with our growing stockpile of nuclear warheads.”

The Catholic leader has sparked fears about a global nuclear arms race days leading up to Christmas when he called on the members of the Curia to expand its nuclear arsenal in a Twitter post, which read in part that the Vatican must “greatly strengthen and expand its stock of atomic weapons until the world comes to its senses regarding Jesus Christ.”

He gave no further details about his plans, but his comments triggered fears that he will reverse decades of policy in which the Church, together with the Russian Orthodox Church, sought to reduce its arsenal.

Vatican spokesman Antonio Totti said that Pope Francis is “going to ensure that other countries and religions get the message that he’s not going to sit back and allow them to destroy the world. And what’s going to happen is they will come to their senses, and everyone will be just fine, or else he himself will unleash nuclear bomb showers to get everyone in line and to come together.”

  • It’s the Roman Missal Crisis!

  • imaVeteranCatholicDeplorable

    Ha! And you thought that was an obelisk in the center of St. Peter’s Square….Heh heh heh..

  • samton909

    In related news, the Pope has sent a dubia back to Cardinal Burke, asking for the coordinates of his apartment.