“It was tough, you know? Our Dark Lord takes his agreements very seriously. He is a genius and a perfectionist, as everyone witnessed today. We hope that other head coaches around the league will also follow in the footsteps of Mr. Belichick and consider working with us.”

In the end, Brady took center stage, winning his record fifth Super Bowl in a game that he played not so much as a player, but as a puppet to a coach who sold his soul to the Devil. Only time will tell whether the deal was worth it.