Woman Who Gave Up Gossip For Lent Really Looking Forward To Sunday

March 16, 2017 by  
Filed under Parish Life


St. James Catholic Church parishioner Lydia Valdez, who gave up gossip for Lent, announced to friends late last night that she could not wait until Sunday so that she could catch up on all the gossip.

The 29-year-old mother of two told friends that she was excited to hear about what “really happened with Liz.”

“I overheard a couple co-workers talking about what Liz in accounting really got fired for,” Valdez told EOTT. “I wanna break my fast so bad I could explode! And there’s just so much stuff I’m missing right now. I feel like some cloistered nun. Or like a hermit in the desert, you know what I mean?”

Valdez went on to say that even Sunday Masses have been difficult, as she hasn’t been able to lean over to point out to her husband which parishioner was supposedly caught cheating on their spouse and which was known by some to be a “closet gay.”

“Oh, it’s been real tough on her,” Lydia’s husband Christian Valdez told EOTT. “She usually leans over during Mass to tell me which people she heard were sinning and what sins they were committing. She loves communion part too and excitedly pointing out if those people are going up to receive communion when they shouldn’t.”

  • samton909

    She must do an awful lot of pointing at communion time.

    • Thibaud313

      Takes one to know one. Which I guess makes me one.

      • Casper

        What are we supposed to do – – hold up the line? Make people stumble over us or brush past us? Come on!

  • OLF Youth Group

    “She loves communion part too and excitedly pointing out if those people were going up to receive communion went they shouldn’t.”
    Did EOTT give up proofreading for Lent?

    • samton909

      Our Holy Father has told us not to follow “rules”. Rules of grammar get in the way of really modeling Christ. Rigid adherence to rules causes a breakdown of society. Try living the hippy life more. Chill. Relax. Meditate. Groove on some weed.

  • Hotrod1962

    In my parish, the real gossip was Father and his goomare.

  • HermitTalker

    How awfully pathetic.

  • susanna

    Lydia couldn’t wait to point out the newcomer ladies who were wearing pants, and to let them know the focus was on God here, not each other!

  • AuthenticBioethics

    Just wait until she finds out that Sunday really begins after First Vespers on Saturday evening…

  • And it’s all true

    • HermitTalker

      EVIL should be avoided 24/;7/365 not justi n Lent !!!!!