Curia Surprises Francis with One-Way Ticket to Buenos Aires

March 20, 2017 by  
Filed under Vatican


Roman Curia officials pulled out all the stops this year to celebrate the 4th anniversary of Pope Francis’ accession to the Throne of St. Peter after scrounging together a few hundred Euro to surprise him with an unforgettable one-way ticket to his native Buenos Aires.

“He’s been working so hard lately, we thought he could use an extended, indefinite getaway,” said Msgr. Giuseppe Bernardo, an attaché attached to the Papal Household. “Plus it’s a 14-hour flight…ample time for several meandering in-flight press scrums.”

“He’s going to love this!” honorary prelate Anotonio Vada said, trying to contain his excitement. “We even had his boarding pass printed on poster-board like those giant ceremonial checks diocesan bishops are so fond of.”

At press time, the Curia was preparing to clean the universal Church while the boss was away.

“He left behind a pretty big mess,” an unnamed Cardinal prefect whispered.  “This may take a century or more.  Some of the stains might never come out.”

  • samton909

    Interestingly, when the people of Buenos Aires found out about this, they immediately took up a collection and bought the Pope ANOTHER one way ticket from Buenos Aires back to Rome. “We think he should spend an extended amount of time in sunny Italy. Like maybe another decade or two. We have too many Lutherans here already.”

  • Hotrod1962

    Hey Curia….while you’re at it…..change they locks on the doors.

  • HermitTalker

    This once satirical site has become cynically destructive and raw anti Pope Francis hate-speech. Bye bye. Learn the meaning or satire, it certainly is not in your portfolio

    • Fr. Steve

      Thank you Hermit Talker. I have always enjoyed satire and found Eye of the Tiber entertaining whether they were spoofing John Paul II, Benedict, or Francis. I also used to enjoy the clever (and occasionally insightful) remarks made by the readers. I will continue to enjoy the articles but I no longer even recognize the remark’s section.

      • HermitTalker

        Gracias tibi Pater Stephanus. EOTT nunc magnum excrementum est.

        • samton909

          Says the guy who always talks about excrement, and gave us the always inspiring quote “River Tiber in Rome we found an anus drowned here, is he your arse/ass buttocks.”

          • HermitTalker

            Go mo leith sceal. Disculpa me. CONFITEOR DEO
            ET OMNES FRATRES. Last comment from me. EOTT no longer a source of irony. and your PC Corretions

          • samton909

            Why do you keep speaking French?

          • More Tea Vicar?

            I think the language is dog Latin mixed with stage Irish. That snowflake won’t be missed. He’s probably melted by now…

        • timbuktu

          Are you the coprophiliac that Pope Francis was talking about?
          Or are you a coprophobiac like himself?

    • More Tea Vicar?

      It’s certainly not in yours!

      • HermitTalker

        See how they loved one another. in a supposed satirical site hijacked by self-absorbed herettial wanna be infallible anti-Popes

        • samton909

          I think you could apply to get your comments uploaded to the “Pope Francis insult generator”. Or maybe we could start a new website – the “Hermit Talker insult generator”.

  • Monk

    There were lots of exilings in the good ol’ days. Why ever was this discontinued?

    • HermitTalker

      Rat Race. Rats won escaped and now swim in the Tiber with the other rats who lack humour, satire and oppose the legitimate occupier of the Chair of Peter, nibbling termites.

      • Monk

        You’re a hoot, HT.

      • samton909

        You’re a nice man.

  • JK

    Let’s hope he packed his ipad in his checked in luggage..,wouldn’t want the departure held up.

    PS: See ya Hermit Talker. As a new subscriber, looks like you won’t be missed?

    • HermitTalker

      They taught us in the Ozarks never to piss against skunks JK. I had a revelation that there is a huge holding tank for heretics and anti papal pseudo Catholics on the road to Hell Jesus is the Revealer MT 25:36-41. Repentance is available IF HUBRIS is surrendered.

  • scooter

    “He’s going to love this!” honorary prelate Anotonio Vada said, trying to contain his excitement.
    And I could not contain my LAUGHTER – I love this site!!

  • More Tea Vicar?

    Why a one-way ticket to Buenos Aires? Is Tierra del Fuego not good enough for His Holiness? He could dialogue with the penguins … and they’ll answer in kind: regurgitated fish. LOL!

  • jovan66102

    It’s too bad this is satire!

    • Karl Rahner Jr.

      This is very useful humour during a dark time in the Church.