Prolife Judge Deports Pregnant Illegal Immigrant; Allows Fetus To Stay

June 19, 2017 by  
Filed under Politics

 

Prolife judge Anthony Gabel ordered Fairuz Naoum, a pregnant illegal immigrant, to be deported back to Iraq last week, just moments before giving her unborn baby permission to stay in the United States.

Gabel told EOTT this morning that 27-year-old Naoum, a Christian living in Dearborn, Michigan, would have to leave the country immediately, though her deportation back to her native Iraq meant a possible death sentence.

“I understand the gravity the situation,” Gabel said as he brushed off some lint from his “Choose Life” t-shirt. “I’m not stupid. I know that sending anyone, let alone a Christian, back to Iraq essentially means sending them back into ISIS territory, where they’ll will be hunted down for the foreseeable future. But unfortunately, she’s already outside of the womb, which means I owe her nothing.”

Gabel went on to say that the fetus inside Naoum had rights bestowed upon him by the Creator, and that he could not “in good conscience deport one of God’s creatures.”

“Under the ruling,” Gabel explained, “Naoum will be forced to either voluntarily leave the United States with her unborn baby, or to induce labor and to have the child, which would give the baby the right to…wait, giving birth to the baby would automatically make it no longer unborn, meaning I, a good Christian man, don’t have to give a crap about it.”

At press time, Gabel is looking into changing the ruling so that Naoum does not spawn another illegal immigrant that would most likely become a terrorist.

  • Ondrej Kocnar

    I am not sure if this really hits the mark…

    • Casper

      No it doesn’t. Obummer was the one not letting in Middle East Christians.

      • Kurt 20008

        There were no religious tests by the previous Administration.

        The current action of deporting these Catholics is very sad. The silence from far too many is sad as well.

  • parishioner ordinaire

    I agree with Ondrej. There is no humor here, only pain

  • disqus_VFYC4t5TnK

    Did someone hack EOTT on this one? Even considering the usual “inside joke” factor, this doesn’t fit genuine Christian (Catholic) understanding of “Pro Life.” Now, if the judge had been identified as a particular variety of protestant who doesn’t consider both people equally valuable, that might have helped.

    • Matt Kososki

      ‘this doesn’t fit genuine Christian (Catholic) understanding of “Pro Life.” ‘
      –That’s the point.

      ‘Now, if the judge had been identified as a particular variety of protestant who doesn’t consider both people equally valuable, that might have helped.’
      –As if there aren’t any Catholics like that.

      • KJL

        Yes, I think it is satire directed at the misguided argument thrown our way that pro-lifers don’t care about the child once it is born.

        • Ethan David Malloy

          I’ll believe that argument is misguided once conservative prolifers actually start acting on their alleged concern for the poor and brown people. They can start by not taking healthcare away from the most vulnerable, refraining from trampling on the migrant’s human right to seek a better life, and the right of every worker to a just (i.e. living) wage.

          • KJL

            pardon me, but your bias is showing. “alleged concern”. “most vulnerable.”

            Seems you are parrotting the very line mocked by this satire.

          • Ethan David Malloy

            Just to be clear, are you assuming I don’t care about the unborn? Or that I’m pro-abortion?

          • KJL

            Not assuming anything, just responding to your unfounded accusations of racist and greed.

          • Ethan David Malloy

            First, I accused no one of greed. In my experience, conservative prolifers support slashing the social safety net, including Medicaid, because they either are opposed to the safety net in principle, or because they think the current safety net is too large and/or unsustainable. Conservatives see small government, not as a prudent means of organizing society, but as an intrinsic civic good. This stance is rather opposed to the Church’s teaching that favors a robust safety net for the protection of the poor and vulnerable. The problem is one of disordered priorities, not greed as such.

            Second, the GOP and its supporters have used racist arguments in defending stricter immigration laws and denial of Muslim refugees. They assert that such people “cannot understand our obviously superior Western culture,” which is the very argument colonists used to subjugate native peoples. Second, where is all the conservative outrage over the killing of unarmed black men by the police? Why is it, when a black man is killed, conservatives’ first responses have to do with whether the person “looked suspicious,” or “why didn’t he/she just follow the officer’s orders?”. No one asks these questions when unarmed white men are killed by the police (not least of which because unarmed white men are almost never killed by police). These double standards for black people are the tip of the iceberg of conservative-aided racism.

          • KJL

            So not greed, just racism. Pretty sure your rabbit hole has completely left the topic. As I said, your bias is showing. This piece of satire must have struck a nerve.

          • samton909

            Your bizarre and near idiotic interpretation of Catholicism is amusing, but completely wrong. Your bizarre and near idiotic interpretation of what “conservatives” want is amusing, but completely wrong. Your complete inability to enjoy a joke without engaging in bizarre political rants on a humor site is amusing, and somewhat sad. No, you do not understand Church teaching at all, I am afraid.

            All you are is yet another humorless, politically myopic ranting Democrat who hasn’t got the faintest idea of what he is talking about, and you probably need to seek help, lest your next move is shooting up a congressional baseball game.

            Seek help immediately.

          • Ethan David Malloy

            I have a degree in Religious Studies and I teach RCIA at my parish. I can back up my positions with citations from Scripture and the Magisterium. However, I’m completely willing to be proven wrong. If my interpretation of the faith is so obviously incorrect, please show me using Sacred Scripture and Church documents that support your position, and I’ll change my opinion.

            Also, I’m not a Democrat. I can’t fully support either party, so I’m politically independent. I abhor political violence on both sides, and I find it insulting that you would accuse me of being sympathetic to such evils.

          • samton909

            Well, you must have gotten your degree of religious studies from the University of Democratic Talking Points. Your total inability to leave aside totally leftist political rants indicates you are one of those highly politicized types who uses the Catholic church as cover for your political ideas. Any clown who comes on here and claims that the Catholic church supports their political positions is a bit out there. I can only imagine what it must be like being in one of your RCIA classes. Your continued inability to get that this is a humor site, not a political one, or a religious debate site, indicates there is a screw missing somewhere.

          • Ethan David Malloy

            If we’re not supposed to be debating on a humor site, why do you keep responding? My proposal remains open: If you can show me, using Sacred Scripture and Magisterial texts, that what I’m saying contradicts Church teaching, I will gladly change my opinion. You can either ignore me, back up your opinions, or continue flinging insults and making unfounded accusations about me. It’s your choice.

          • samton909

            I have met many goofballs such as yourself that take Catholic teaching out of context to claim that Christ came to save all mankind for the Democratic Party. I have not the time to debate such goofballs. I am sure you have all your distorted and ripped from context quotes all ready, and I am equally sure that if I wanted to spend the time, I could show you that you and your :Democratic Party is God” talking points are wrong and silly, NOTHING you have said is doctrine of the Catholic church. EVERYTHING you have said is doctrine of the Democratic Party. You have only uttered the most shallow and unthinking propaganda nonsense. They say it is wrong to wrestle in the mud with a pig because you both get dirty, and the pig likes it. Again, you are quite creepy because you want to freakishly engage in political debate on a site that was intended to be a bit of fun for people Such people generally have a screw loose somewhere, as I said.

          • samton909

            They are not taking healthcare from the most vulnerable, because Obamacare is already doing that by raising prices so people can’t afford it. Start thinking of human beings, and stop thinking of “brown” people, as if you can only think in racist terms. Workers have the right to a just wage. They just have to get a job. If they don’t like the wages, go get another. Stop pretending that the whole world is falling apart when everything is just fine. EOTT, it appears this one has attracted people who can’t take a joke, and are just filled with irrational rage against one thing or another.

          • Ethan David Malloy

            Premiums were already increasing on their own; partially due to the economy, and partially due to states not passing Medicaid expansions that would have covered these increases. Second, it’s not racist to point out that the people towards whom conservatives bear animosity (immigrants, Muslims) are disproportionately non-white. In addition, the vast majority of the poor are actually employed. However, their situation in life has not given them the blessings of a decent education or a stable family structure that would give them the formation and skills to make them attractive candidates for well-paying jobs. One cannot simply “get another” job if one doesn’t like the pay.

            Lastly, how can you say “everything is fine” when over 3,000 unborn children are killed every day, when ISIS is terrorizing the middle East, and when our politics have become so corrupt that we had to choose between Trump or Clinton for the presidency? Sure, all will ultimately be made just in Christ, but that doesn’t mean that everything is peachy in the meantime.

          • Casper

            “(immigrants, Muslims) are disproportionately non-white.” You think Muslims are non-white? You think all immigrants are non-white?

            “However, their situation in life has not given them the blessings of a decent education or a stable family structure that would give them the formation and skills to make them attractive candidates for well-paying jobs” Yes, their “situation in life”. Probably either born into a single-parent household, or running a single-parent household. Thank you Democrats for the breakdown of the American family. And the public school system.

          • samton909

            Yes, our glorious leader Obama did everything right, the whole world is against you, and the little men in your head are threatening to take over. We get it. Seek help immediately.

          • Kurt 20008

            ” If they don’t like the wages, go get another.”

            Because bosses, like the Blessed Mother, share the grace of being free from Original Sin. By their very nature they cannot sin nor exploit workers.

          • samton909

            Comrade, I applaud your transformation into our Blessed Mother.

  • BillClintonsShorts17

    Have I stumbled into an alternate ‘Onion’ site? This is SO obviously a parody.

    • Sheila C.

      Congratulations, you figured it out.

    • parishioner ordinaire

      I understand it is a parody. I just feel it missed the mark and isn’t funny. The brush of satire does not immunize all parody from reproach.

      • chezami

        It does what satire should do: comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable. It is “prolife” Christians who most zealously and inflexibly support the inhuman cruelty of the Trump administration’s barbarous treatment of refugees. Every Christian who supports this cruelty deserves the humiliation this article heaps on their heads.

        • samton909

          This is a very creepy comment. The Trump administration has not engaged in “barbarous treatment” of refugees. In fact, they have done nothing at all in this respect, except for trying to stop them from entering the country for 90 days. If this is your definition of “barbarous treatment”, I can only feel sorry for you, that you are so consumed with hatred you can’t even see straight.

          • chezami

            Sending Iraqi Christians back to Iraqi is sending them to their deaths. Destroying families by sending fathers back to Honduras is cruelty. And denial of this is evil. Pity yourself for your excuses for such cruelty.

          • Casper

            Sorry to tell you – – Obama was the perp of the cruelty of not letting in Christians from the Middle East.

          • Kurt 20008

            The previous Administration did no such thing.

          • Shawn
          • Kurt 20008

            I stand by my point. The previous Administration did not refuse to let in Christian from the Middle East. Conservatives, while opposing statistical differences as evidence of racial discrimination have turned 180 degrees on this matter. The truth is that many Middle Eastern Christians, following the urging of the Christian patriarchs, have tried to stay in safe places in the Middle East — Lebanon, part of Syria controlled by the pro-Christian Assad regime, and Jordan. Other have gone to France where they speak the language and whose government is not associated with the misdeeds of the Bush Administration — widely hated by Christians.

            And lastly, while their is an orderly process for accepting refugees from the UN camps (and no American preference for Muslims in these camps), any refugee can directly apply for asylum, as many Christians have done.

          • Shawn

            The previous administration did nothing to help them either, and they refused to call the Armenian Genocide, genocide. Plus they gave billions to Iran, That administration was about appeasing Muslims in the Middle East.

          • Kurt 20008

            It was Ted Cruz that told Middle eastern Christians he wouldn’t lift a finger for them because of their views on Zionism. And no, the Obama Administration did not give any American money to Iran.

          • samton909

            Very funny. Obama looked on and chuckled gently to himself as Christians were murdered in large numbers. But the Christians all hate Bush, huh? It is amazing the propaganda that some people will believe.

          • Kurt 20008

            The only way Trump would let a Christian refugee into this country is if he thought he could grab her p………

          • donttouchme

            Destroying the integrity of a nation by deliberately flooding it with immigrants is a more fundamental cruelty.

          • samton909

            Dear Goofus: He did not send Iraqi Christians back to Iraq. Come down off you Goofy Democrat Believer stand and enter the real world. You will find it challenging, but rewarding. I know you love the world of propaganda stories you can get all worked up about, but reality is much nicer.

      • donttouchme

        Depends how you look at it. I reat it as a parody of the stupidity of pro-choicers who attack pro-lifers for their “cruelty”. This is the same “cruelty” the same people supposedly inflict on homosexuals by opposing gay marriage or on immigrants for supporting national sovereignty and borders.

  • Christopher Lake

    Sometimes, satire is dark and painful, because real-life situations, and peoples’ reactions to them, can be dark and painful. Thanks to the author for this piece. Tough but needed.

    • Shawn

      Or it is just stating the liberal talking point, that “pro-life people only care about the unborn/”

      • Christopher Lake

        Shawn, what you are posing as the problem with this satirical piece would only be the case if *all* pro-life people possessed the same kind of reductionist mentality as the judge here. However, not all pro-life people *are* like the judge. That is a very good thing. Some do have a similar mentality as the judge though, and that is a serious problem. (By the way, I am pro-life, as are the writers of this blog.)

  • Patricia

    I am naive….is this a real situation? It can’t possibly be. It must be satire, right?

  • Casper

    Under Obama: “The United States has accepted
    10,801 Syrian refugees, of whom 56 are Christian. Not 56 percent; 56
    total, out of 10,801. That is to say, one-half of 1 percent.”

    • Kurt 20008

      The United States did not screen to keep out Christians. These were the refugees that came forward.

  • JK

    Yes, this is a very thought provoking satirical moment! It is confused a little by assuming an Iraqi Christian would be returned.

    Us ‘comfortable types’ in the west have a dilemma in that we have a humanitarian situation that sees Islam inflicted on the west with all the costs of failed Islamic states (and yes, because of our failed interventions) being thrust upon us and the Islamic world washing its collective responsibility as it implements the final Ummah on the west.

    That we cannot convert them to the Christian ideal is the real reason for our impending failure…as we abort our own population and put stress on fellow Christians of different color and background.

    • chezami

      It takes a special kind of gall to hand Christians over to death in Iraq while whinging about the “final Ummah” of the west.

  • chezami

    https://www.americamagazine.org/faith/2017/06/16/chaldean-deportations-are-death-sentence-why-are-christian-americans-silent The Greatest Catholics of All Time, who support Trump, who are well-represented here and who have excommunicated those who don’t support him, are silent because criticism of God’s Anointed President is a sin and these Iraqi Christian need to be offered as human sacrifices to the adamantine pride and refusal to admit error of these Super Catholic Trump supporters. The same ones who are way more Catholic than the Pope.

    • samton909

      Your creepy political ranting on a humor site is indicative of the total lack of humor prevalent among America Magazine types. Go to the Daily Kos and spread your hate.