USCCB Announces Plans To Come Out With Dark, Gritty Reboot Of The Mass

June 9, 2017 by  
Filed under Parish Life

  In an effort to attract more young people, the USCCB announced today that they will begin working on a dark, gruesome, and gritty reboot of the Novus Ordo. Speaking with EOTT, Bishop Robert Lombardo, who came up with the idea for the reboot, said that they hope to begin saying the new Mass beginning next fall. “Right now we’re just beginning to work on the new translation, which we’re tentatively calling ‘The Mass: Rise of the Godman.’” Lombardo... Read More

Taylor Swift Joins Convent After Several Unsuccessful Relationships

June 6, 2017 by  
Filed under Parish Life

Image: Eva Rinaldi   After several public failed relationships and an embarrassing 8-months without a boyfriend, award winning singer-songwriter Taylor Swift announced today via Twitter that she was leaving the music industry to become a nun. “With some prayer, and lots of thinking about boys, I’ve decided to become a nun,” she  wrote on Twitter. Swift’s agent Rod Steelman confirmed this morning that she has been accepted into the... Read More

New Matt Fradd Anti-Porn Book Just 90-Pages Of Your Mother Staring Disappointedly At You

June 1, 2017 by  
Filed under Parish Life

Matt Fradd has announced that his new anti-porn book, titled, “Oh My Goodness, What’re You Watching?” by You Should Be Ashamed Of Yourself Press will be published just in time for Mother’s Day 2018. The 90-page book of your dear, aging mother who raised you to be better than that is rumored to contain no words, for words cannot express the sorrow and disappointment your mother would feel if she knew you looked at such trash, but... Read More

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