Catholic Costume Stores Across Country Reveal Most Popular Halloween Costume Is Slutty Mark Shea

October 31, 2017 by  
Filed under Parish Life

 

As time runs out to pick the perfect Halloween costume, costume stores across the country have confirmed that this year’s most popular Catholic costume is a slutty Mark Shea.

Employees of Seattle’s Halloween Express are working overtime to keep the shelves stocked for last minute shoppers.

“It’s been insane this year crazy,” Halloween Express owner Tom Weaver told EOTT. “Slut is in. Everything from slutty Marty Haugen to skanky Lector is in demand. And when we run out, It’s really hard for us to talk people into the more traditional Catholic costumes like saints.”

“Skinny Jimmy Akin has been pretty popular this year too,” Halloween Express associate Candice Michaels said. “But Cardinal Burke dressed In Modern Novus Ordo Vestments have also been a huge hit.”

Michaels also said that popular fallback options like LCWR Nuns Wearing A Habit and Simcha Fisher Wearing A Dress While Preaching That Wearing Pants Is Immoral have both been selling extremely well.

 

 

  • chezami

    This is a real step up from last year’s Walking Dead Mark Shea.

    • Linebyline

      Other favorites:

      Green Lantern Mark Shea (movie version)
      Republican Mark Shea
      Michael Bay Transformers Mark Shea (vehicle form is a moped)
      Sheady GaGa
      Vampire Mark Shea (regular and sparkly variants)
      Scientologist Mark Shea

    • Maggie

      But wait: the costume also comes with an option for generous padding to more closely look like the man in question who is of generous proportions himself.

      • Tom G

        Lame.

  • terryhjones

    “slutty Mark Shea”. not a mental polaroid that any of us needed.

    • Thibaud313

      I think this picture rendered an entire generation impotent.

  • Stephen Dalton

    Any Mark Shea costume ought to be for adults only. To allow a kid to wear one would child abuse!

  • kamiller42

    Those wearing the slutty nun and priest costumes deserve a lump of coal.

    • HermitTalker

      The reality is that the original costumes featured a pregnant nun and a priest with an erection. I wrote, being alerted by Dr Bill Donohue of the Catholic League to the bigoted hate-filled distributor to express my disgust This post is not funny to me.

      • Susan

        Agreed

  • Casper

    Skanky Lector? That’s gotta be popular. How about Usher-in-jeans-with-wallet-chain?

  • William of Orange

    I couldn’t even find a Pope Michael mask this year.

    • HermitTalker

      They have not elected him yet King Billy. The stultissimi illegitimi have not finished crucifying Francis yet

    • Susan

      Hey William of Orange what are you doing in this site

      • HermitTalker

        King Billy is on here to kill Catholics to feed to QE2’s corgis. The Empire ran out of “darkies” and other sub-human non- Brits.

        • William of Orange

          Please continue to safe-guard my true identity. You gain an indulgence for doing so (if you pray in front of any non-Catholic church for our mission the day after All Souls Day).

      • William of Orange

        I’m actually a double agent. Trained by the Jesuits for twenty years, I lived an ascetic life with mortifications that would make Josemaria Escriva look like a self indulgent throw-back to Woodstock. I’m part of an elite group philosophic counter terrorists. In addition to extreme physical training, I had to memorize the entire Summa, the Catechism of the Catholic Church, and all the encyclicals up to Pope JP II.

        I infiltrate the strongholds of anti-Catholicism (I once provided IT support for James White in order to gain access to his personal computer). We gather intel on all heretical groups and rank non-Catholic groups in order of threat relevance. For example: the Foursquare Gospel Church has a ‘TR’ (threat relevance) of 347. They could move up at some point, but it is unlikely. What makes them less threatening than, say, the Anglican Church, is not their relative obscurity, it’s their crappy worship music. The musicians they attract are only ever capable of playing tired early 1920s and mid-depression hymns long since abandoned by the Methodists. The dissonance of their partly badly tuned cheap guitars accompanied by the staccato rhythms of the pastor’s nephew on drums awkwardly trying to play along with music discarded before his grandfather was born poses no threat to Catholic liturgy – even those lefty parishes that insist on including Ashes by Tom Conry on Good Friday. We also specialize in writing very long sentences.

        Like a cold war era spy drinking potato vodka in an anonymous speak easy that doubles as the front for a safe house in Easy Germany, this forum is the only place where I can allow (only a part) of my real identity to be known despite the fact that I must still do so using extraordinarily long strings of words lest my commitment to the use of verbosity flag even in the slightest.

        I would surely appreciate it if you kept this under wraps.

        Dominus Vobiscum

        • HermitTalker

          Susan are you sorry you asked William of Orange why he is on here? I certainly am. That post got bogged down in obviously too much Jesuitical irrelevant detail.

        • Susan

          William, you’re nuts which corroborates your claim of a Jesuit education.

  • Nordog6561
    • Tom G

      You’re being an asshole.

      • Nordog6561

        Yes, but I am being an asshole in the great tradition of Mark Shea: The King of Assholes.

        • Tom G

          Two wrongs make a right, eh? I think you know you should delete your comment.

          • VeilOfTiers

            At least we have to click on it to see it.

            That said, once seen it cannot be unseen.

            Use caution friends.

          • Nordog6561

            Three wrongs, you forgot to count yourself.

          • Tom G

            What did I do wrong?

          • Nordog6561

            What did I do wrong?

          • Tom G

            Oh you’re one of those guys who never admits your own sinful conduct. Got it.

          • Nordog6561

            Oh, not so. I am a terrible sinner. I just refuse to wax into self loathing because you fell off your fainting couch. But my question stands, what, in you estimation, did I do wrong. It’s good to spell things out.

          • Tom G

            Your initial comment with photo is obviously disrespectful and obviously intended to hurt the man. And who’s trying to get you to wax into self-loathing?

          • Nordog6561

            …but your slinging the pejorative “asshole” is just oaky doaky. SMH

          • Tom G

            Ooooh, I see. The fainting couch is what I’m reaching for, but you’re just responding in kind, eh? Congratulations on never being at fault. You’re straining at a gnat to swallow a camel.

          • Nordog6561

            I’m never at fault? WOW! I had no idea. If you say so!

            Hahahaha… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7b9c544008e95bed11e1325b09a8a4c4f15ee945470efbe35abd202f3b702107.jpg

          • Tom G

            You know what I mean. You’re just being an asshole. You could quit at any time. But something from the past is bothering you, so you’ll do everything you can to defend your obviously sinful conduct because of a past wound.

          • Nordog6561

            You’re an asshole too. And you could quit at any time. Stop the H8! Start with yourself!

            Tell me, are you a big Mark Shea fan? Is that what this is all about?

            P.S.:

            Astounding ability to read souls you have there.

          • Tom G

            It’s not assholery to tell someone when they’re being an asshole. Your pic (now pics) are obviously disrespectful and un-Christian. I suspect you know as much. As for the “stop the H8”, that has nothing to do with anything here.

            I do read Shea’s work somewhat regularly. But I don’t think that has anything to do with anything here. Unless you’re reading souls, I guess…

            As for “reading souls”, you indicated a past wound when you wrote (in your now-deleted comment) that Mark Shea is the King of Assholes. That means he’s upset you in the past. No?

            And you should note that I wrote that you are being an asshole, not that you are an asshole. You’re probably not one. But those pics are, to say the least, uncharitable.

          • Nordog6561

            No, I’m not reading souls. That’s you. I actually asked for clarification, which is the opposite.

            Oh, Mark Shea has upset untold numbers of people in the past. But not you I guess. I didn’t delete anything, it was removed. You should be happy!

            Still, Shea will be glad to know you’ve got his six.

          • Tom G

            Yes, Nordog6561, you were passive-aggressively reading souls when you wrote “Are you a big Mark Shea fan? Is that what this is all about?” You can call that “asking for clarification” all you want, but it’s the same as “reading souls”.

            I wasn’t reading souls when I took note of you calling Mark Shea the “King of Assholes.” You deleted the comment where you called him that (which is fine), but that’s what I’m basing it on. And Mark Shea upsetting you in the past is why (I’m guessing) you’ve seen fit to make a post with the totally disrespectful and uncharitable pic on it. Again, you could delete it, but you insist on leaving it up. You continue to sin by allowing it to remain.

            I doubt Mark Shea is worried about his six. But I think it’s important to challenge people (such as yourself) who don’t have a problem writing and posting such completely uncharitable things about someone.

          • Nordog6561

            Now you’re just making things up. Having a suspicion, and asking for clarification is the opposite of what you claim it is. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c7b75c7f30b0697592c4b6d268565582b4d3d2f1a33dc1d6d043170e40f68517.jpg

          • Tom G

            “Having a suspicion” is not something you then “ask for clarification” for. It’s something where you are asking for confirmation of your suspicions. Which is the same as soul-reading. Soul-reading redirects from that part of the conversation that makes you uncomfortable. In this particular situation, that part of the conversation that makes you uncomfortable is the part where you are being called out on your extremely uncharitable words. You will be liable to the Sanhedrin for the things you are writing. Repent, Nordo. You should delete the pictures you’ve posted. They’re wrong.

            I see you’ve already deleted the post where in you called me a “faggot”. I think that’s a good start. You don’t lose anything by deleting those posts, but you gain everything.

          • Nordog6561
          • Tom G

            “Your”.

            Bummer. You were so close.

            Tell me about the past things Mark Shea has written or said that upset you so much. What’s your beef with him?

          • Nordog6561

            HAHAHA…

            A reader of souls AND a Typo Nazi!

            Oh, the places you will go!

            Hahahahaha…

            Here, just for you!

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/37b8bb88b7b0bc838dc12375fab80f5e5f35010deb91d66e35f30f8dfdfc91d7.jpg

          • Tom G

            Well, I wasn’t going to say anything about the typos, but then you corrected your own mistake when you changed “A” to “ARE”.

            Still though, tell me about the past things Mark Shea has written or said that upset you. What’s the cause of your beef?

          • Nordog6561

            Oh, anyone who describes pro lifers as hiding behind human shields of unborn babies because they really lust for killing is an asshole. That’s objective and called blood libel. My feelings are irrelevant to the matter. You may operate in the world of feelings, but I refuse to do so.

          • Tom G

            Your feelings are not irrelevant.

            As for describing pro-lifers as hiding behind human shields of unborn babies because they really lust for killing, I believe he’s qualified that statement to apply to a smaller subset of “pro-lifers” in the past.

            But (and I’m actually asking for clarification here) what makes you say Shea’s words constitute “blood libel”? My understanding of blood libel is that it’s a belief that Jews murder Christians (particularly Christian children) so as to use their blood for rituals. I’m not making the connection here.

          • Nordog6561

            Asking for clarification? I thought you said that was “reading souls”.

            You’re a gadfly, an asshole, and an imbecile.

            Just go away.

          • Tom G

            When someone engages in soul-reading but attempts to call it “seeking clarification”, then it is still soul-reading. Not all “clarification-seeking” is soul-reading.

            There’s no need to name-call. I’m sure we can talk this out. Can you help me make the connection between the literal meaning of “blood libel” and your use of that term to describe Shea’s description of a subset of pro-lifers? I’m not following your thoughts here.

          • Nordog6561

            You’re an idiot. Go away.

          • Tom G

            Awww. Poor guy.

          • chezami

            Here Norris is your thing for “prolife” members of the Party of Trump to defend instead of the unborn today: http://www.nationalreview.com/article/453410/adoption-tax-credit-pro-life-policy-republicans-save Perhaps you tear yourself away from your highly productive poopy head insults that do Thomas Aquinas College so proud to contact your Congresscritter about not punishing adoptive parents. Since you are so all-fired sensitive about the reputation of “Prolife” supporters of our Sex Predator in Chief. If not, carry on making a pathetic spectacle of yourself here.

          • Nordog6561

            Piss off.

          • Tom G

            Hurt feelings, wittwe guy? What happened to “refusing to operate in the world of feelings”? C’mon. Lay off the anger and resentment. What’s the beef here? What’s bothering you? Talk to your old pal, Stewie! 😀

          • Cyril W. Koob

            How is Trump a sex-predator? Isn’t it a sin to make false accusations?

          • HermitTalker

            He has a record of making typical male sexist comments. Even the secretly recorded tapes by Baby Bush- Florida Governor ‘s

          • HermitTalker

            Former Fl governor’s son who released that recording. I lost all respect for Jeb, who became a Catholic, rejected Pope Francis’ Laudato Si. Typical GOP anti-Catholic rejection of elementary social justice. As to Trump, he’s excellent on unborn life, but absolutely zilch on what we Catholics believe is Consistent Life Ethic

          • HermitTalker

            It’s also idolatry to deify a politician or Political Party. GOP or Democrat.

      • HermitTalker

        How original. Is it copyright??

        • Tom G

          Wut?

          • HermitTalker

            A comment was deleted here. Did you miss my satire? This site needs it restored badly.

          • Tom G

            Again, what? I’m not following you.

        • KJL

          This reminds of the good old days of Shea combox wars. Lots of name calling, lots of juvenile behavior and the children never really resolve anything. Good stuff. For Satan.

  • HermitTalker

    This topic aint and never were funny. Restore the satire or marked me absent.