Word On Fire Launches “Catholicism” DVD Box Set Into Space

February 7, 2018 by  
Filed under Parish Life

 

The most powerful rocket to leave Earth since Elon Musk’s Falcon Heavy launched from Des Plaines, Illinois this morning.

The Fire On The Earth jumbo rocket, developed by flamboyant bishop Robert Barron, held a mannequin carrying a Catholicism DVD box set as it floated into space some time later.

Real-time footage from the box set itself shows the series of epic DVD film highlighting the beauty and truth of the Catholic faith travelling at 24,500 mph as Michael Joncas’ On Eagles’ Wings plays in the background.

Word On Fire Content Director Intern, Brendon Vogue, author of Return: Draw Your Martian Back to the Church, told the press this morning that the “silly and fun” mission was a success because it will “get people around the world excited about Catholicism.”

“Sure, cosmic radiation will soon begin to tear the DVD box set to pieces, but you know what can’t be torn to pieces? Catholicism itself. And that’s the point of this fun mission.”

  • FatherWagner

    I hear that their next project is to launch all of the “Gather” hymnals into space.

    You know… Just because.

    • William of Orange

      Too trad. I agree.

    • Maferick

      Gather together all of the copies of that “music” and send them to space is a GREAT idea. Why didn’t I think of that?

      • FatherWagner

        Probably just inspiration from on high…

      • Lawrence Lam

        Nothing would start an intergalactic war better than doing that.

    • samton909

      I am pretty sure the heavens would reject them

  • Heinz

    The original plan was, to send the DVD set to the martians, but due to a calculation mistake it will crash land on venus.
    And we know how the people there will react to Catholicism…

  • pat

    Somewhat symbolic of course, since we seem to have no use for it on earth anymore.

  • samton909

    I hear Michael Voris has contacted Blue Origin about launching Father James Martin into space, but so far Jeff Bezos refuses. He says his rockets are already light enough.

    • FatherWagner

      That’s pretty solid there

    • Susan

      Hahaha!

  • Kelly

    You had me at “flamboyant bishop Robert Baron”, then the background music threw me over the edge. Halarious!!!!

  • pat

    The pope approved this???
    I’m sure he wouldn’t want Martian’s first impression of the church and the Faith to come from the catechism… It’s so rigid in places, so judgmental, all that disordered stuff… you know. I’m sure he would have insisted that a copy of the Koran and the holy books of the Hindus also be included, just so that they know that there are sooo many paths up the mountain.

    • Wiffle

      I was following a Catholic young Catholic Priest (ahem) on Twitter. He joked that he had stopped a fellow Catholic from removing the Koran from the chapel of a Catholic hospital, averting international crisis.

      While I got the joke and he is mostly very conservative and serious, I asked him seriously why he had stopped that person, instead of choosing to study the walls at that moment. He didn’t really have a good answer.

      At some point either we a) have the truth or b)are just morons running hospitals and schools. A Muslim looking for comfort I’m sure will not be stopped from bringing their own Koran to a chapel. But if I go to a Catholic hospital, into a Catholic chapel, I expect a Catholic Bible and prayer books and nothing else because we’re confident we’ve got what they’re looking for – the truth.

      • pat

        And I expect Catholic statements from the pope… so we’re all losers.
        But, no we are not confident in the truth. When was the last time you heard a priest or prominent Catholic personality answer a straight forward, concise question on faith or morals, even when addressing another Catholic, without prefacing the response with “Well, the church teaches…” or ” Well, we as Catholics believe…” or “In the Catholic tradition…” That’s our way of apologizing for having an answer, without making it sound like it is THE actual answer. Government workers, teachers, TV personalities don’t do that. When you ask , say Al Gore, if human activity is causing catastrophic climate change, he doesn’t say “Well, scientist believe…” or ” The National Institute of Science teaches…” No, they answer matter of factly… yes or no… with the understanding that there is no room for debate. But , what is more surely known, the causes of climate change or the morality of remarriage after divorce?

        • Hotrod1962

          Still waiting for a priest to say during a homily: The Catholic Church, through it’s Sacred Tradition believes abortion is an intrinsic evil and voting for those in office who perpetuate this evil is wrong.
          I have never heard a priest openly declare the Church’s position on traditional marriage and homosexuality.
          He guess he doesn’t want to offend his parishioners.

          • Wiffle

            There are atheists who believe abortion is wrong. The abortion discussion is one of the many reasons why it’s obvious that things are so wrongity wrong in the Church right now. Abortion is a straightforward discussion and involves killing babies. It’s a morality issue with training wheels. But most of our Priests won’t touch it with a ten foot pole. sigh

          • Hotrod1962

            The Church was never great at teaching it’s doctrine (at least in my lifetime). Catholic schools, Catholic University, and I was never taught how to defend my faith. With all the required theology courses I took as a undergraduate, never was apologetics one of them. No wonder why our kids leave.

          • Wiffle

            The Baltimore Catechism is a wonderful summary of the faith with the exception of Purgatory, but if you question anything or want evidence, you’re on your own. The default answer to questions from the late 19th century through the mid 20th century appears to be “Because the Catholic Church said so and you’re going to Hell for asking questions.”

            I would say it is the almost universal lack of understanding why the rules came to be that has left us in the lurch modernly.

            What’s frustrating though, is the need to develop apologetics to reach the modern mind is an intellectual exercise. This is our moment and we’re blowing it. I thought we had the Jesuits, seminaries, Notre Dame football, etc.

            They shouldn’t be leaving it to combox called “Wiffle” to come up with the temporal evidence that homosexuality is bad for you. It’s ridiculous. The whole weight of the apparatus mean to support the faith is now currently engaged in coming with a million (incorrect) reasons why it’s wrong, rather than why it’s right.

          • Hotrod1962

            Not a surprise. Church attendance is down and the rectory needs a new roof. Why alienate parishioners with true Church teaching.

          • pat

            If you think the silence is deafening now, just wait until the first gay couple to have their union blessed by the German church with implicit consent of the Vatican appear on the front page of the NY Times. Whatever was left of resistance to the spirit of the world will collapse very quickly.

          • Barry

            God help us, it’s just insane whats going on.

        • Wesley Nichols

          I hear him all the time, he is my priest, an FSSP priest.

      • Rose Lincoln

        Absolutely correct!

      • pat

        Catholic chapels and churches haven’t had Catholic prayer books for 50 years. You might get the occasional ecumenical happy thoughts collection with nature scenes and eagles flying into the sunset, but usually it’s just a Gather ‘hymnal’

        • Casper

          That’s hilarious. I ran across just such a book when my mom was in a Catholic hospital. I was not Catholic at the time, but I think it actually helped push me a bit on the journey. : ) I bought a copy and have it somewhere at home…

  • Hotrod1962

    After receiving the Box Set in the Andromeda Galaxy in the year 3056, an intergalactic war broke out between the planets Mulagra and Joyna over whether the Mulagrites should be circumcised.

    • pat

      And after they settled that squabble amicably, another war broke out over whether or not to bless marriages between individuals of the same sex. Unfortunately, copies of AL and the collected ramblings of Pope Francis were included, but that only made things worse.

      • Hotrod1962

        No, No, Pat…not a problem….in 3025, the Intergalactic Council for the Doctrine of Faith has already declared Francis the Anti-Christ. They had no idea what he was saying and in the words of Cardinal Droookluj “We have analyzed the writing of this man and his confusion leads us to declare that this guy must be the Anti-Christ”.

        • pat

          But the litany of St. Francis the merciful is already written and in use.
          Francis most humble – Ora pro Nobis
          Francis most merciful – OPN
          Francis most wise – opn
          Francis accompanier of difficult cases – opn
          Francis washer of women’s feet – opn

  • paulavizinis

    Sarcasm with no solutions is just tripe and this comments are full of it. Hopefully Jesus, on His return, will not be the “Just Judge” but will rule that this gossip is pretty “damned” funny. (I mean for your sake, of course)

    • Rose Lincoln

      Ha!

    • Wiffle

      If you believe this, isn’t commenting on these comments an occasion of near sin? Just sayin’

      Also, the traddies trying to manipulate people into behaving like them (Jesus hates jokes and will damn you!) are about as annoying as the liberals trying to manipulate people into behaving like them (Be nice or you’re going to time out and God won’t like you!).

  • Barry
    • samton909

      Official portrait of Elon Musk?