Montana Bishop Candidate Allegedly Body Slams Catholic News Agency Reporter

Bodyslam-Hugo Fernandes   Just days after rumors emerged that Montana priest Fr. Gregory Forte could be made a bishop, reports that he apparently attacked a Catholic News Agency reporter the night before the pope made his final decision has thrown the diocese into turmoil. Political reporter for Catholic News Agency Mary Rezac claimed late Wednesday night that while asking Forte a question regarding how silly altar girls look when they wear high heels,... Read More

First Lady Melania Trump Swats Away President’s Hand During Our Father

Image_Dodo   For the second time in just a few days, first lady Melania Trump was seen avoiding holding hands with her husband Donald Trump, this time at the Vatican during the recitation of the Our Father. Just days after she was caught swatting President Trump’s hand away in Israel, Melania was again seen swatting away her husband’s hand, this time in front of the Pope. “Awwwkward,” said Pope Francis. Adding insult to injury,... Read More

Parishioners Pick Churchy McChurchy Face As Name Of New Parish

Image: Andrew Hermiz   Parishioners are embracing a bishop’s call, allowing them to choose the name of a new Catholic church in their diocese. With the final round of online voting set to close Friday, Churchy McChurchy Face has more than twice the votes of any other potential name. As of Monday, Churchy McChurchy Face leads the pack of suggestions with nearly 17,000 votes, well ahead of Our Lady of Medjugorje Catholic Church and Trump... Read More

Loser Still Using Last Year’s Rosary Model

  43-year-old Arnold Corea told friends last night that, though he was shamefully still using last year’s rosary model, he planned to upgrade this fall when the new Rosary Pro 7 was released. “The thing is is that I’m still under contract with my rosary, and though it doesn’t have all the bells and whistles the newer model has, it still does the job,” he said, going on to defend himself saying that his older model still gets him from “A... Read More

Homeschool Mom Convinced Son Has Vocation to Papacy

Image:Vitold Muratov   Local homeschool mom Candice Sheehy announced to friends early this morning that she believed that her son Thomas may have a calling to the papacy, friends reported last night. the 42-year-old mother of nine told friends that, though she believed all of her children were either being called to the religious life or martyrdom, Thomas stood out in a different way. “All nine of my kids obviously pray the rosary three times... Read More

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