Questions Arise After Mother Neglects To Remove Hysterical Child From Mass

October 23, 2012 by  
Filed under Mass, Uncategorized

Eugene, OR––In the immediate aftermath of the Mass in which parishioner Heather Thomas neglected to remove her crying child to the cry-room during the homily, family of the 26-year-old mother were quick to blame the non-removal of the child on the supposedly crowded pew in which they were sitting. Thomas has yet to speak to reporters regarding the incident which left many parishioners absolutely flabbergasted at how someone could be so clueless as to allow their child to scream uncontrollably without the least bit of common sense to remove them from the church. Local psychiatrist Sheldon Smith told Eye of the Tiber that this type of oblivious attitude can be seen in many of his own patients; “In extreme cases it almost seems as though the child becomes a sort of instrument for a desperate mother who’s calling out for attention…a sort of tool through which she allows herself to cry. Other times it’s just a simple case of narcissism.”

  • Panda Rosa

    I know those people, she takes her kid to the movies all the time, and then they always go out for burgers afterward, and they ALWAYS sit next to me.

    • Darren Anderton

      What a hard life.

    • Mr. Adams

      Well you can confront me next time the baby I am holding is crying.

  • BanthyloyalD

    Written by the childless.

    • Mr. Adams

      It’s also sarcasm.

    • Bershawn300

      Even people with children (well, people who have sense and have children) understand that it is rude to disrupt everyone else’s time of worship and prayer.

  • PureCatholic

    I can’t understand these people. How could they be soo clueless to their child and not take her to the crying room:(

  • catechismhead

    So long as the kid has been Baptized I say let ‘m wail.

    • Bershawn300

      Yea, no. It is narcissistic in the extreme to take away from everyone else’s time with God because a person doesn’t have the sense and respect for God and for others to remove them.

  • Bertrand Fellow
    • Guy McClung

      Bertrand F-I am so sorry you published this-the heretics are just looking for a lie/excuse to “ordain” deaconesses, and one that will prevent us from saying that anyone who believes Jesus gave his church the power to ordain women is anathema [as the benighted church has done for centuries]. Now you’ve gone and done it.

  • Jeff

    I have kids. When they get too noisy I take them to the cry room. Just like my parents did we were growing up. It is just common courtesy to both the priest and parishioners. A little fussiness is one thing. Full blown screaming is something else.

  • ithakavi

    I could tell this is satire because it is datelined Eugene Oregon and claims the pew was crowded. Nobody who has ever been to Eugene Oregon would think that possible.

  • Kate

    Well, now, now don’t I feel silly….here I’ve been telling all those people who wail and whine about my fussy children to go to the cry-room to hear the Liturgy better. There’s even a nice video feed in there so that they can have the feeling of actually virtually being at Mass. I guess I’ll just have to tell them to go somewhere else from now on.

    Luckily, one of the bouncers at our parish was kind enough to mention that parents have a special dispensation and don’t even have to go to Mass at all….wow! What a relief! I’ll just shove a pop tart in the little darlings’ mouths and put them in front of Elmo on Sundays instead. That will give me more time to catch up on my social media posts! Awesome!!! I’m sure the youth Mass will be able to lure them into the faith when they are teens with all that rockin’ hip music, praise hands and hugging.

    Thanks for the heads up, Eye!

  • susanna

    Did this occur when Father, in his homily, alluded to the fact that bratty kids don’t go to heaven?

  • Madison Thompson

    Blahahahaha that’s my hometown! Depending on the parish (and the Mass time) you really do get this attitude. That, or the hippie Catholics whose children roam the pews wild and free. 🙂