Questions Arise After Mother Neglects To Remove Hysterical Child From Mass

Eugene, OR––In the immediate aftermath of the Mass in which parishioner Heather Thomas neglected to remove her crying child to the cry-room during the homily, family of the 26-year-old mother were quick to blame the non-removal of the child on the supposedly crowded pew in which they were sitting. Thomas has yet to speak to reporters regarding the incident which left many parishioners absolutely flabbergasted at how someone could be so clueless as to allow their child to scream uncontrollably without the least bit of common sense to remove them from the church. Local psychiatrist Sheldon Smith told Eye of the Tiber that this type of oblivious attitude can be seen in many of his own patients; “In extreme cases it almost seems as though the child becomes a sort of instrument for a desperate mother who’s calling out for attention…a sort of tool through which she allows herself to cry. Other times it’s just a simple case of narcissism.”