Area Catholic Offended by the Phrase “Merry Christmas”

December 3, 2012 by  
Filed under Politics, Uncategorized

New York, NY––Local Catholic and Liturgical stickler Gerry Brownstone was offended earlier today when leaving his local Food-Mart, after the greeter wished him a “Merry Christmas.” “Who does that guy think he is, saying that to me?” Brownstone said. “Advent has barely begun. The Liturgical Calendar has a Christmas season, you ignoramus, and it begins after the Feast of the Nativity, not a month before.” A visibly irritated Brownstone continued, “I don’t wish you a Blessed Pentecost the week before the Ascension, do I? Grow up.” When asked what he preferred as an Advent salutation, Brownstone answered: “I don’t know. Maybe something about the Season of Advent, like ‘Advent’s Greetings,’ or something about the holiness of the days that are coming, like ‘Happy Holidays.’ Either of those would be liturgically more acceptable.” He concluded his tirade, “It’s like there’s a War on Advent out there.”

  • Julie

    I’m offended that this image has blue candles in the advent wreath.

    • Jeanne

      Probably couldn’t find the purple ones. Or pink. And if I say “Happy Holidays,” everyone ELSE will be offended.

    • Joanna

      Actually, I’m pretty sure they’re purple.

    • PAntonio

      A woman in our church was selling the Advent blue books, an advent wreath with blue and pink candles. When she was asked why the candles were not purple. She answered that is was changed for the year. So we asked if the Church had changed the color, and she said “well, I changed the color to blue to promote my Advent blue books.”

  • http://southernvermontcrank.blogspot.com/ I am not Spartacus

    I am looking to purchase a Keep Christ and The Mass in Christmesse Bumper Sticker if any of you have them for sale

  • Brooks Nash

    I’m offended that this person was more concerned with liturgical propriety than with being hospitable to a stranger. I like the Benedictine motto: “Let every guest be treated as Christ.”

    • Kleighton

      You know this is a Catholic parody site right? Like The Onion? It’s not a true story. Well, I’m sure someone out there is probably like this, but still. This site is meant to be satyrical and not taken seriously.

    • http://catholiccats.blogspot.com/ Julia

      Dude. This didn’t really happen.

    • http://catholiccats.blogspot.com/ Julia

      Dude. This didn’t really happen.

  • Guest

    There IS Advent greeting among catholics: “Maranatha!”

    • Rose
    • Lucas

      “Guest” – you’re a genius, and I will experiment with your Advent greeting today. (If it goes well, I may even report back.)

      Rose – you too are brilliant, but you’re also cruel – it will be WEEKS before I can get that out of my head.

  • Walter Brickman

    Please turn off the comments! The comments ruin the stories.

    • http://virgosapiens.wordpress.com Caroline

      Not all of them. The one about the blue candles was funny.

    • https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=1197130141 Cindy Eimann Coleman

      No, the best comments are when people actually take EOT seriously.

  • http://Facebook Catherine Victoria Grossi

    This is an isolated incident so please don’t publish garbage like this about an uncharitable person who calls themselves Christian as well as Catholic. In truth, he doesn’t practice good Christianity or Catholicism.

    • Joe

      This is a parody website – it didn’t really happen

  • Caelos

    I think it would have been better if he’d suggested “Season’s Greetings” instead of Advent’s Greetings, haha.

  • http://www.sealevel.info/ Dave Burton

    How about putting it in the future tense: “I hope that you will have a very merry Christmas!”

    Or how about charitably assuming that is what was actually meant by the friendly greeter?