Tifton, GA–Catholic troll Phillip Karabin, writing under the handle P90XcelsisDeo, has been patiently scouring the internet looking to passionately defend everything he holds dear, his friends are reporting. Sitting at his desk in his mother’s basement for the past seven hours, Karabin has settled on a Catholic Answers Forums thread titled, Are Altar-Girls Allowed by the Church? “This one’s right up my alley,” Karabin reportedly told his friends. “Now we wait…” he said, leaning back in his chair and rubbing his hands together before placing them behind his head. “It’s all he does,” lifelong friend Brian Reyes told Eye of the Tiber. “He’ll just sit there with his notes…old zingers and good come back lines he’s used on other people, and he’ll just wait and wait and wait until someone says the wrong thing. The man’s like a freaking sniper.” At press time, Reyes was in the process of writing a 3,000 word, scathing condemnation of the post-conciliar era, citing events chronicled on the news site Eye of the Tiber to prove his point.