Catholic Blog Reader Patiently Waiting Opportunity To Lambast Someone On Thread

January 12, 2013 by  
Filed under Parish Life, Uncategorized

Tifton, GA–Catholic troll Phillip Karabin, writing under the handle P90XcelsisDeo, has been patiently scouring the internet looking to passionately defend everything he holds dear, his friends are reporting. Sitting at his desk in his mother’s basement for the past seven hours, Karabin has settled on a Catholic Answers Forums thread titled, Are Altar-Girls Allowed by the Church?  “This one’s right up my alley,” Karabin reportedly told his friends. “Now we wait…” he said, leaning back in his chair and rubbing his hands together before placing them behind his head. “It’s all he does,” lifelong friend Brian Reyes told Eye of the Tiber. “He’ll just sit there with his notes…old zingers and good come back lines he’s used on other people, and he’ll just wait and wait and wait until someone says the wrong thing. The man’s like a freaking sniper.” At press time, Reyes was in the process of writing a 3,000 word, scathing condemnation of the post-conciliar era, citing events chronicled on the news site Eye of the Tiber to prove his point.

  • phred

    There’s no way this article can be real. There’s no Catholics in Tifton, GA.

    • Jeff

      That’s probably why he doesn’t have any friend, he’s the Catholic loner.

  • Paul O

    Hilarious!

  • CN

    “When his brain begins to reel from his literary labors, he makes an occasional cheese dip.”

  • Micha Elyi

    Correcting the ignorant is a corporal work of mercy. Especially if that somebody is wrong on the Internet.

  • P90XcelsisDeo

    I strike again! Now I’m internet famous!

  • Phillip Karabin

    That’s right. I’m beta testing a script called Dogma-filter-lite. It initializes whenever somebody types a comment, and I get an alert whenever the wording gets a little – shall we say – squishy Catholic. A screen shot is then automatically forwarded to the CDF. You guys better keep those comments orthodox, I got a quick finger for the CAPS LOCK KEY. – Your Friend In Christ, Phil.

  • Marc

    Where can I buy an eye of the Tiber t-shirt?

  • http://southernvermontcrank.blogspot.com/ I am not Spartacus

    The bestest Council ever teaches that Mahometans worship the same God as do we Catholics and yet here we see, once again, the malign Muslim hatred of the Christian masquerading as humor.

    Phillip Krabin is the anagram of the well-known ancient hate phrase – ARAB HIP INK PILL

    What next, fellas, cartoons of Mahomet?

  • Will

    This blog is getting to be too much for me. First it was the indignant combox replies from people who could not tell satire from real stories. But now I can’t tell the real comments from the satirical ones.