CNN Forced To Neglect Coverage Of March For Life Due To Breaking Footage Of Dolphin Stranded In NYC Canal

January 25, 2013 by  
Filed under Politics, Uncategorized


Atlanta, GA––CNN PR director Richard Seymour apologized to viewers via twitter this afternoon after station officials realized they would not be covering the annual March for Life due to breaking footage released of a dolphin stranded in Brooklyn’s highly polluted Gowanus Canal. “Un4tunately not gonna be covring the March on CNN, he wrote via his twitter page. “Luv the March but we R talking bout a life here.” Seymour later sat down with Eye of the Tiber, saying, “It seems like every year, about this time, some huge story breaks, and this year’s no exception. We deeply apologize to the half-million people at the March, as well as the millions of viewers who count on us daily to keep them abreast of important news stories as they happen.” Seymour went on to say that, with regards to the March, “There’s always next year.” At press time, Eye of the Tiber and CNN have been informed that the dolphin has passed. Seymour says that CNN will be covering the dolphin’s memorial service scheduled for tomorrow; all day.

  • judys

    I think it was on ABC where I saw the lead story was about a woman who sued after her date attacked her. While in itself a worthy story, it is no excuse for the fact that there was no March for Life coverage anywhere on that news page. Seriously, what are these “journalists” thinking? You can’t just ignore an event that has 500,000 participants!

  • Oh, you can, you can…

  • Michael Leggett

    I am surprised that CNN didn’t carry “The Toronto Seal Hunt”, with all day coverage of the Latest Rob Ford Beer Drinking Escapade.

  • Michael Leggett

    One could incinerate Three NYC Boroughs by dropping a lit match in the Gowanus Canal. Note that this is true Satire.

  • Noah_Vaile

    What the hey is that thing? Is it belly up?

    • JFarinholt

      Actually, I think its inflatable…