EWTN Announces New Reality Show Lineup

February 2, 2013 by  
Filed under Parish Life, Uncategorized

Irondale, AL––Addressing the latest ratings dip for EWTN, the network’s President and CEO, Michael Warsaw, announced today that the station would be making some radical changes to its upcoming lineup. Following the lead of other popular television networks like MTV and VH1, EWTN unveiled its all new reality show lineup set to premier this Fall. Shows already turning heads include, So You Think You Can Pray, America’s Next Top Extraordinary Minister, and Lead Us Not Into Temptation Island.

Original post date: 9/15/12

  • polob

    Excellent! Wonder where auditions will be held..?

  • HPJ

    The original EWTN was a truly faith-focused network led by a devout nun and her equally devout sisters. The network addressed what all Catholics needed and still need, a direct, no-holds barred exposure to the Faith.

    I suppose that the misguided and less traditional successors to Mother Angelica think that they’re going to reap higher ratings among hip younger viewers by mimicking Hollywood-style “reality show” nonsense. Of course, they will fail miserably because younger Catholics seek the truth of their faith as revealed through the traditions of the Church, not through progressive modernism as espoused by our secular humanistic western culture.

    Here’s a message for EWTN: Youth ≠ anti-traditional

    Younger Catholics hunger for tradition which is young Catholic families flock to more traditional Masses and send their children to more traditional Catholic colleges. Conversely, only the progressive Baby-Boomers now in their mid to late 60s follow the dying modernistic trend in the Church, while the youth seek to re-energize The Bride of Christ for the good of all Catholics and non-Catholics of good will.

    It would appear

    • Shawn

      You do know that this satirical news site? It isn’t real.

  • Gail Finke

    “America’s Next Top Extraordinary Minister” — where do I sign up????!!!!

  • Disco

    Liturgical Dancing with the Stars

    • Katheryn

      The lineup includes Nancy Pelosi, Kathleen Sibelius, Cardinal Dolan, and Sandra Fluke!

  • Warren Memlib

    Ten Shows EWTN Ought To Make

    Published Thursday, March 10, 2011 A.D. | By LarryD

    Not every show that gets presented to the folks at EWTN makes it past the sales pitch. It’s just like Hollywood, without the couch. Seriously. You think it’s just some nuns and a few execs sitting with Raymond Arroyo and Fr Mitch brainstorming over a pot of Fr Leo’s “What Really Happened To The Lost Sheep” Stew? No way – writers and developers from the world over submit scripts and treatments all the time. And not just inspirational programs that teach the faith, either. I’m talking comedies, dramas, reality – the whole gamut.

    Here are the Ten Shows EWTN Ought To Make:

    10. So You Think You Can Preach? [Reality] Bishops, priests and deacons from around the country deliver 7-minute sermons and homilies on a variety of moral and theological issues before a three-judge panel, with viewer voting in the later rounds. Contestants are judged on content, passion, and whether they wander around the sanctuary too much. The recommended judges were Fr. Corapi, Bill Donohue and that guy from your parish who always has to have a word or two with the priest after Mass to complain about the preaching.

    9. Parish The Thought! [Sit-com] For years, the parish at Sts. Haugen & Haas Church was led by a “spiritual” female lay administrator, supported by a clique-y parish council comprised of quirky characters. Then, unexpectedly, the diocese appoints a young orthodox priest as pastor and hilarity ensues! Watch with unbridled laughter as the pant-suited administrator and her lackeys on the council try week after week to undermine the priest’s authority, only to utterly fail with hilarious consequences! The priest’s only apparent allies are the plucky parish office receptionist and a wise old janitor whom no one else sees but the pastor…

    8. Are You Smarter Than A Blogger? [Gameshow] Contestants match their wits and wisdom against a panel of six bloggers. The contestant chooses from a selection of blog posts written by an anonymous Catholic blogger, and chooses a blogger to compete against…and then let the combox flame war begin! Whomever better supports their position – either pro or against – in the comments box is declared the victor of that round. If the contestant survives two rounds, he/she advances to the “Hat Tip” Speed Round, where he/she has 30 seconds to decipher the maze of links between six posts, one by each of the bloggers, and put them in order from original to the last one who copied linked in.

    7. Jerry and Ambrose [Sit-com] This show follows the lives of two roommates who couldn’t be more mismatched – Jerome and Ambrose…before they were saints! It’s a late-4th century Odd Couple! Two guys who can’t stand each other, forced to share an apartment due to circumstances beyond their control. In Latin with English subtitles.

    6. Lex et Ordo – Roma [Drama] “In the Catholic criminal justice system, the laity is represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the Liturgy Police who investigate liturgical abuses and the Congregation of the Doctrine of the Faith who ex-communicates the offenders. These are their stories.” (chung CHUNG!)

    5. Survivor: Vatican [Reality] Two teams battle for survival in the Eternal City – it’s the Catholics vs the Catholycs. Outwit. Outfast. Outpray. The two teams of contestants – most likely an orthodox vs. heterodox set up – undergo various trials and tests, such as Catacomb Races, St. Peter’s Square-dancing and Long-Distance Thurible Hurling. Each week, a contestant will be “ex-communicated”, not by direct voting per se. Rather, contestants will ignite pieces of paper with their names written on them, and if the resultant smoke is white, they are cast off, as the host shouts out “Habemas haereticum!”

    4. The Confessor [Drama] Most people believed the mild-mannered reclusive midwestern priest spent his time only slavishly translating obscure Latin texts. None of them knew, however, save his housekeeper and local ordinary, that he was also The Confessor, a costumed vigilante battling dissent and liturgical experimentation around the nation. Sand in your stoups? Priests wearing their stoles over their chasubles? Cosmic Girl invited to speak at your parish? Call The Confessor – he’ll dispense righteous penance!

    3. First Friday Night Live [Variety] A comedy sketch show, featuring an ensemble cast of “Not Quite Ready For St. Blog’s” performers. Good-natured family-friendly humor, poking fun at just about everything, guest-hosted each week by a well-known Catholic luminary, and filmed before a live studio audience. Think Monty Python meets Hee-Haw!

    2. The Acolytes [Action/Drama] Five acolyte buddies, all former SEAL members, trade their cassocks and lace for Special Forces gear when called upon by a covert operations agency within the Swiss Guard. Each week, they’re challenged with a new mission – whether it’s to take out a troupe of ninja liturgical dancers, or rescue seminarians held captive by rogue chaplains. By land, sea or air – they can handle it, and be back in time to assist at the 9:00 AM Sunday Mass.

    1. Sister Patricia – LIVE! [Talk show] A combination of Mother Angelica, the Church Lady and Oprah – it’s a rockin’ hour of faith talk and commentary! Special guests, Biblical exegesis, discussions on cultural fads and fashions. She’s unique. She’s distinctive. She’s…Sister Patricia!

  • Will

    And I was waiting for Paul Eddington in YES, BISHOP.

  • LL

    How about:
    – Extreme Makeover: Sanctuary Restoration
    – The Catholic Bachelor
    – Seminary Survivor: Quality over Quantity

  • “Are You Smarter than the Holy Father?”

    • Jim

      This one can’t miss. People have already being playing the home edition for generations!

  • Alpha Golf

    How about “Search For A Church”? It follows a devoutly Catholic couple who long for the Tridentine Latin Mass but have to settle for liberal parishes in the Chicago archdiocese as they go from church to church in their area and weigh which liberal parish to join.They would show the different ways these churches hijack the liturgy from liturgical dancers, hords of sweatsuit-wearing Extraordinary Eucharistic ministers, to homilies preached about how Catholics have to be “more friendly” and other nonsense. The season could end when they finally manage the trek all the way to Saint John Cantius. Oh wait, that’s all too real!

  • Cindy Snipes

    So they’re following the lead of MTV & VH-1?
    Reality shows aren’t going to help the Network succeed.
    Why don’t they ask their viewers for suggestions? I believe the final
    results might be something more enriching & faith building the reality shows. How about teaching families how to protect themselves in Spiritual Warfare? America is in trouble. We need help & coping strategies for the times we live in. Just my opinion. God Bless.

  • A couple of these, and bunch more were included in our dream lineup of Catholic sitcoms and TV shows that need to exist: http://www.catholicviral.com/22-catholic-sitcoms-reality-shows-that-need-to-exist-now/