Sistine Chapel Officials In Negotiations To Swap Paintings With Guardian Angel Cathedral In Las Vegas

February 8, 2013 by  
Filed under Uncategorized, Vatican

Painting of The Rise of the Sentients in Guardian Angels Cathedral in Las Vegas, Nevada

VATICAN CITY––An official at the Vatican Press Office today announced that the Vatican was in preliminary negotiations with Las Vegas bishop Joseph Pepe to swap Michelangelo’s The Last Judgment with the world-renowned painting The Rise of the Sentients located inside Guardian Angel Cathedral in Las Vegas, Nevada. Monsignor Alexander Bader, a spokesman for the Sistine Chapel, told reporters earlier this morning that The Last Judgment, though exquisite in its own right, had “run its course.” “We do not doubt the beauty of Michelangelo’s piece,” Bader told reporters. “But the fact is that the wonderfully pure artistry and vibrant colors of The Rise of the Sentients, with its images of bare-chested sentients flying up, up and away to heaven or Krypton, call it what you may, lends itself to what the theme of our chapel ought to be…artwork communicating itself on an inner level, found not so much in the painting itself, as it is in the viewer…very much like our faith.” Bader did not disclose many specifics about the trade, saying only that it was officials at the Sistine Chapel that initiated the offer, and that thus far, Pepe has been reluctant to trade the piece. “Who could blame him? All I can say at this time is that Bishop Pepe has indeed denied our first offer. We are currently working on a proposal that could also include the Pieta, and possibly even the Basilica of Saint Mary Major.”

  • Bryce

    I bet whoever commissioned this piece is very spiritual.

    • heylady

      Or stoned.

      • antigon

        Or still angry his father wouldn’t pay for art classes.

  • Michael Schumacher

    Who let Terry Gilliam design a cathedral?

  • Brother Agnes

    holy something comes to mind and it ain’t Holy Spirit!

    • jim111


  • I am not Spartacus

    This is Vegas, Baby; and the art work is Fabu.

    Look you fuddy duddies can keep your museum Missa Papae Marcelli music and Gregorian Rite Mass but this is the art and Mass and Music of today and those sentinels are heading to the promised land singing this spiritual…

  • Chuck-50012

    What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Please.

  • Deacon Chris

    I heard that this may actually be a “Three to Four” Cathedral Deal… Milwaukee was offering up their Crucifix plus a priest to be named later in return for the pieces of the “Last Judgement” that don’t quite fit in Vegas…

    [and in the history of the Church, there has never been a priest with the last name “Later” – Chris Breman ESPN]

  • Vegas Catholic

    In other news, the Church of Scientology announced that they will file suit against the Diocese of Las Vegas for totally stealing their ideas. “It’s obvious they are depicting Jesus as a fifth order Operating Thetan, which is our thing,” said Chairman of the Board and Scientology leader David Miscavige. We demand that the mural and all of the stained glass windows depicting the Stations of the Cross be handed over to the local Las Vegas Church of Scientology chapter immediately. Especially the window entitled ‘The Sealed Energy,’ cause that thing is awesome.”

  • Justin Swanton

    Reminds me of one church I saw in Switzerland. Try to visualise the architecture of ‘The Day After’ combined with ‘Alien vs Predator’. After a good look around, a friend of mine who was with me and whose dad was an interior renovator, said “The only thing you can do with this place is put a keg of dynamite on the floor, light a fuse, and run.”

    • Susan Gallen

      Hahahaha. Where do they come from and why are they allowed to do what they do. Only Bella Dodd knows.

  • Steven J Schloeder

    I wrote an essay on that remarkable piece of church architecture in my blog.



  • Muchtall

    When you’re finished laughing, check out the comments here and laugh some more…

  • Brian Kerzetski

    Growing up in Las Vegas, I have attending this Cathedral a number of times. As a child, I always felt like I was in some kind of science fictional space port. Since it allowed my imagination to wander, I can say it made my church experience “less boring.” Now, of course, I see it as having no place in a church. My friends and I refer to the main figure as Super Jesus. I’ve never understood what the mural was supposed to portray.