Sistine Chapel Officials In Negotiations To Swap Paintings With Guardian Angel Cathedral In Las Vegas

February 8, 2013 by  
Filed under Uncategorized, Vatican

Painting of The Rise of the Sentients in Guardian Angels Cathedral in Las Vegas, Nevada

VATICAN CITY––An official at the Vatican Press Office today announced that the Vatican was in preliminary negotiations with Las Vegas bishop Joseph Pepe to swap Michelangelo’s The Last Judgment with the world-renowned painting The Rise of the Sentients located inside Guardian Angel Cathedral in Las Vegas, Nevada. Monsignor Alexander Bader, a spokesman for the Sistine Chapel, told reporters earlier this morning that The Last Judgment, though exquisite in its own right, had “run its course.” “We do not doubt the beauty of Michelangelo’s piece,” Bader told reporters. “But the fact is that the wonderfully pure artistry and vibrant colors of The Rise of the Sentients, with its images of bare-chested sentients flying up, up and away to heaven or Krypton, call it what you may, lends itself to what the theme of our chapel ought to be…artwork communicating itself on an inner level, found not so much in the painting itself, as it is in the viewer…very much like our faith.” Bader did not disclose many specifics about the trade, saying only that it was officials at the Sistine Chapel that initiated the offer, and that thus far, Pepe has been reluctant to trade the piece. “Who could blame him? All I can say at this time is that Bishop Pepe has indeed denied our first offer. We are currently working on a proposal that could also include the Pieta, and possibly even the Basilica of Saint Mary Major.”

  • Bryce

    I bet whoever commissioned this piece is very spiritual.

    • heylady

      Or stoned.

      • antigon

        Or still angry his father wouldn’t pay for art classes.

  • Michael Schumacher

    Who let Terry Gilliam design a cathedral?

  • Brother Agnes

    holy something comes to mind and it ain’t Holy Spirit!

    • jim111


  • This is Vegas, Baby; and the art work is Fabu.

    Look you fuddy duddies can keep your museum Missa Papae Marcelli music and Gregorian Rite Mass but this is the art and Mass and Music of today and those sentinels are heading to the promised land singing this spiritual…

  • Chuck-50012

    What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Please.

  • Deacon Chris

    I heard that this may actually be a “Three to Four” Cathedral Deal… Milwaukee was offering up their Crucifix plus a priest to be named later in return for the pieces of the “Last Judgement” that don’t quite fit in Vegas…

    [and in the history of the Church, there has never been a priest with the last name “Later” – Chris Breman ESPN]

  • Vegas Catholic

    In other news, the Church of Scientology announced that they will file suit against the Diocese of Las Vegas for totally stealing their ideas. “It’s obvious they are depicting Jesus as a fifth order Operating Thetan, which is our thing,” said Chairman of the Board and Scientology leader David Miscavige. We demand that the mural and all of the stained glass windows depicting the Stations of the Cross be handed over to the local Las Vegas Church of Scientology chapter immediately. Especially the window entitled ‘The Sealed Energy,’ cause that thing is awesome.”

  • Reminds me of one church I saw in Switzerland. Try to visualise the architecture of ‘The Day After’ combined with ‘Alien vs Predator’. After a good look around, a friend of mine who was with me and whose dad was an interior renovator, said “The only thing you can do with this place is put a keg of dynamite on the floor, light a fuse, and run.”

    • Susan Gallen

      Hahahaha. Where do they come from and why are they allowed to do what they do. Only Bella Dodd knows.

    • MAJohnson

      Amen, Brother!

  • I wrote an essay on that remarkable piece of church architecture in my blog.



  • When you’re finished laughing, check out the comments here and laugh some more…

  • Brian Kerzetski

    Growing up in Las Vegas, I have attending this Cathedral a number of times. As a child, I always felt like I was in some kind of science fictional space port. Since it allowed my imagination to wander, I can say it made my church experience “less boring.” Now, of course, I see it as having no place in a church. My friends and I refer to the main figure as Super Jesus. I’ve never understood what the mural was supposed to portray.

  • MAJohnson

    Rise of the Sentients is an awful piece of artwork. I am an artist myself and have studied Art and Art History and have taken lots of design courses. The piece is confusing and lacks focus. The cross in the middle has no relation to the painting in terms of design. What are we looking at? Its supposed to be … angels? I guess. Or is it a bunch of harpies surrounded in a migraine aura? The colors don’t even tie together. What is its meaning. And what’s with the blue guy, or girl?, in the middle??? It looks more like an homage to an Olympic swim team than a Catholic piece of religious art. To replace the Last Judgement of Michelangelo with THIS piece of garbage is a huge insult to not only classical art but to faithful Catholics everywhere! I HATE this style of art. It’s like they’re trying to incorporate Picasso’s blue period into Catholicism and that just does NOT work because the purpose of religious iconography is two fold: for veneration AND for teaching. In the old days, people couldn’t read, so a lot of the biblical stories were painted onto churches and murals. So, if you couldn’t read about the Last Judgement, you could at least look upon it and meditate its meaning. The purpose of this artwork??? I don’t know. You can’t venerate it because you don’t know what’s being portrayed and you can’t learn from it for the same reason. It’s truly just cr*p.

  • mistermcfrugal

    My wife and I attended Mass at that church twice in the last few days. Yes, where you normally see images of Jesus, you see that image of some man. But what really concerned us is that the tabernacle for that church is located on a side altar, not in the main sanctuary. Look closely at the image on this side. Where the tabernacle usually is, directly behind the altar, there is big white, sort of throne seat for the priest. You get the distinct feeling this is all about man, not God.

    Also, that place was built in 1958. We didn’t think they hid tabernacles back then. Perhaps it used to be in the sanctuary until someone found a better spot at the side altar.

  • A better title for that painting comes from The Apostles Creed: Christ Descending into Hell. Sure fits the Cathedral of a city best known for gambling, sex, and suicide