Expert Analysis From Community College World Religions Teacher On CNN

March 12, 2013 by  
Filed under Politics, Uncategorized


Royal Oak, MI–Just minutes after black smoke rose above the Sistine Chapel Tuesday, World Religions Teacher at Royal Oak Community College Stacy Martinez appeared on CNN to give her opinion regarding the failure of the first ballot. The 57-year-old community college teacher told Wolf Blitzer that the failure of the 115 Cardinals participating in the conclave could be a sign of disunity and perhaps even indecision. “What Catholics have to ask themselves is what are the ramifications of the first ballot going up in black smoke,” Matinez told CNN, on location outside the community college’s food cart. “I’m not in there, so I can’t know for sure, but if I had to say, it seems like there might be some real strong disagreements going on with the cardinals right now.They can’t make up their minds and I think that’s the reason so many of the faithful are so fed up and frustrated with the Church. Their leaders either can’t make a proper decision, as we clearly see in this case, or they make bad decisions, as we’ll certainly see when they elect the next pope.” When asked when Martinez expected the Cardinals to come to a decision, she responded that, after witnessing the disappointing failure of today’s vote, that the conclave could last anywhere from two days to three years. “I would definitely guesstimate somewhere within that time frame.” At press time Martinez has predicted that the next pope would most likely be one of the Cardinals present at the conclave.

  • Cindy Coleman

    Hey, that beats the “experts” they have on MSNBC. 😛

  • Larry Guglielmi

    love it!!!!!!!!!!!

  • I guess the time frame is about right… I mean, it will probably fall somewhere in there… and that last prediction is totally spot on. I guess two out of five or whatever predictions isn’t bad. If she was real it would probably be 0/5.

  • kath

    They had to look long and hard to find this “expert”. I bet she’s in high demand :=

  • Will

    Furthermore, the next Pope will be Catholic!

  • Jeff

    Pope Michael is mad today, “I started this trend of picking new pope’s name but then this Argentinian guy came in and he’s stealing the show”

  • fredx2

    I predict they will select a cardinal from Latin America. Name will begin with a B.

  • Benjamin Warren

    Preach it, brother! Those ignoramuses! The hoi polloi writ large!