Pope Francis Declares Homosexuality Obligatory For All Catholics, New York Times Reports

July 29, 2013 by  
Filed under Political

Pope Francis

New York, NY––During an interview given while walking from his airplane arriving from Brazil to the 1983 Ford Escort awaiting to take him to the Vatican, His Holiness Pope Francis declared the new ex-cathedra Catholic dogma that all members of the Catholic Church must become homosexual, the New York Times reported. This declaration is said by the New York Times to have sent shock waves through the Catholic world, and delighted the enormously powerful “Gay Lobby,” said by the Times to control the interior workings of the Holy See. “If someone is gay and he searches for the Lord and has good will, who am I to judge, and would it not be judgmental for me to not require all Catholics to walk in his footsteps?” the Holy Father reportedly told the New York Times. This comes in stark contrast to the words of Pope Benedict XVI, who, according to the New York Times, said that “If someone is gay and he searches for the Lord and has good will, it is the duty of every Catholic to judge him.”

  • F.A.

    Well put. Thanks for the perspective!

  • Bruce

    He might just as well have said that. This is one PR moment of buffoonery after another.

    Cardinal Mahoney must be laughing so hard. Rembert Weakland must be applying for a job in Vatican City.

    • Margaret

      Let those with ears hear.

      Stop listening with the ears of the weak minded.

  • Teri D

    most excellent…lol!

  • RAFAEL DE CARDENAS

    UNFORTUNATELY WE BETTER GET READY FOR THE GAY AND LESBIAN LOBBY TO WANT A share of the Social (socialist) Justice programs now prevalent in most of our churches

  • Margaret Gonzaga

    Cute but it doesn’t work! The Pope has little dominion of English, is still thinking in Spanish, and means that all should walk in the footsteps of Christ, not become homosexual.

    • Rosemarie

      Margaret Gonzaga: You do realize this is a parody, right?

      • Charlie

        She has little dominion of parody.

      • Panda Rosa

        Trust me, someone is going to take this as the gospel truth.

    • François de S. Labrecque

      Very well said Margaret. Deus lo vult !

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  • Rich Fader

    Government immediately outlaws the Church because, of course, they hate competition.

  • Fatherchristian Aidan Ofmhs

    How could any thinking person believe this is real-it’s like the Onion News-A Parody….and pretty good one too.

  • Anna Baker

    the person that wrote is working with satan… horrible!