Pope Francis Declares Homosexuality Obligatory For All Catholics, New York Times Reports

July 29, 2013 by  
Filed under Politics

Pope Francis

New York, NY––During an interview given while walking from his airplane arriving from Brazil to the 1983 Ford Escort awaiting to take him to the Vatican, His Holiness Pope Francis declared the new ex-cathedra Catholic dogma that all members of the Catholic Church must become homosexual, the New York Times reported. This declaration is said by the New York Times to have sent shock waves through the Catholic world, and delighted the enormously powerful “Gay Lobby,” said by the Times to control the interior workings of the Holy See. “If someone is gay and he searches for the Lord and has good will, who am I to judge, and would it not be judgmental for me to not require all Catholics to walk in his footsteps?” the Holy Father reportedly told the New York Times. This comes in stark contrast to the words of Pope Benedict XVI, who, according to the New York Times, said that “If someone is gay and he searches for the Lord and has good will, it is the duty of every Catholic to judge him.”

  • F.A.

    Well put. Thanks for the perspective!

  • Bruce

    He might just as well have said that. This is one PR moment of buffoonery after another.

    Cardinal Mahoney must be laughing so hard. Rembert Weakland must be applying for a job in Vatican City.

    • Margaret

      Let those with ears hear.

      Stop listening with the ears of the weak minded.

  • Teri D

    most excellent…lol!


    UNFORTUNATELY WE BETTER GET READY FOR THE GAY AND LESBIAN LOBBY TO WANT A share of the Social (socialist) Justice programs now prevalent in most of our churches

  • Margaret Gonzaga

    Cute but it doesn’t work! The Pope has little dominion of English, is still thinking in Spanish, and means that all should walk in the footsteps of Christ, not become homosexual.

    • Rosemarie

      Margaret Gonzaga: You do realize this is a parody, right?

      • Charlie

        She has little dominion of parody.

      • Panda Rosa

        Trust me, someone is going to take this as the gospel truth.

    • François de S. Labrecque

      Very well said Margaret. Deus lo vult !

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  • Rich Fader

    Government immediately outlaws the Church because, of course, they hate competition.

  • Fatherchristian Aidan Ofmhs

    How could any thinking person believe this is real-it’s like the Onion News-A Parody….and pretty good one too.

    • ModernPlatonist

      You said it yourself “any THINKING person.”

  • Anna Baker

    the person that wrote is working with satan… horrible!

  • Hyacinth Fidelis Joaquin

    This article could not destroy the good name of Pope Francis. God is with him, who can be against him? I’d rather pray for the one who misunderstood his words so horrible than judge. May God give you peace of mind.

  • Jean Ram

    What a joke this site is! The Vatican should sue the site administrator for slander!

    • Jayce Davidson

      It’s called “satire”.

    • Phillip Borden

      It’s called satire. Seriously, has EVERYONE lost their sense of humor in their quest to be offended?

      • Monk

        Maybe our beloved EOTT webmaster could create a discreet “Sap-O-Meter” to quantify this gullible group.

  • joe

    I think the problem is the word “judge”. He’s right we are not to judge, which means we do not determine anyones final home..heaven or hell. So in that he is right. I’m hoping that is what he meant. It’s tiring having to always hope it is what he meant.

  • MonicaMichael

    Oh joy, oh rapture!