Irish Priests To Extend Confession Times To 8 Hours A Day Because Of “Gargantuan” Number Of Penitents

January 16, 2014 by  
Filed under Mass

DUBLIN––At the annual conference of the Association of Catholic Priests in Dublin, pastors from across Ireland gathered to voice their concerns about the “gargantuan” number of Catholics going to confession. “This is a full blown crisis,” said Father Brian O’Brian from County Derry. “It’s causing severe pastoral strain on parishes up and down the country.” Father Seamus O’Shea echoed O’Brian’s concerns, going on to say that confession times had already been extended to 6 hours a day, but that the sheer volume of penitents were staggering. “Moving to 6 hours a day has hardly even put a dent in the lines. The confessional queue has been so long that many people have had to stand outside the church.” Possible solutions to the problem have been suggested at the conference, a few of which included extending confession times to 8 hours, limiting the number of sins a penitent may confess, and by giving priority to those carrying mortal sins. At press time, another major concern of Irish priests was being discussed, namely, the problem of parishioners spending so long in thanksgiving after Mass that there is not enough pew space for those attending the following Mass.

  • Veronica

    Fr. Brian O’Brian and Fr. Seamus O’Shea have lovely Irish names.

  • fredx2

    See what happens when you get rid of “reconciliaiton rooms”

  • John Kloess

    If this story where true it would be most ironic. (If only.)

    • Diego Serrano

      Why ironic? I think it would be wonderful. If people condefesed as often as they should then this would happenin many places. There are much more priests as Catholic lay people.

      • John Kloess

        Ironic means the opposite of what you expect. I know someone who frequently goes to Ireland and the church is doing pretty bad there. Thus, if this where true it would be…ironic. 😉

        • Diego Serrano

          Thanks John. I just reasoned that if it were true that there were huge lines for confesion, then the Church would be doing pretty well, and therefore, in that case, it would no longer be ironic 🙂
          By the way, I am listening to “Preparation for death” on audiobook by Saint Anthony Ligorio. It’s great and if everybody listened to it we would suddenly have those long lines at confession. Recomend it!!!

        • More Tea Vicar?

          The fun part of this piece of satire is that it mentions the Association of Catholic Priests. They are the ones ruining the Catholic Church in Ireland and the bishops are too limp wristed to clamp down on these renegades like two tonnes of bricks.

  • Jamie Orourke

    Interesting enough we do have lines every week for confession going out the door of our 100 family Church. Two Priests hear confessions for 40 minutes prior to 8:30 Mass and then one goes to celebrate Mass while the other continues to hear confessions until the consecration then they both hear confessions between Masses and one during the second mass and then after the second Mass and their are people in line all of the time. Perhaps if our Priests were encouraged to take the great grace of confession more seriously and offer more often the flock would also.

    • Darran McDonnell

      Very good! Where was that?

  • Almario Javier

    Funnily enough, the priest here just came out of 6 hours hearing back to back confessions…

  • HappyCatholic

    Oh how we wish…

  • Casper

    Maybe the Irish should just quit committing so many sins…

  • More Tea Vicar?


  • Tom

    if only it were true! How sad to attend mass in Dublin

  • el ingeniero loco

    is this site the catholic version of the onion I just stumbled on here and I see tons of satire This would be awesome if it were true but

    • Monk