BREAKING: Priests Accused Of Selling Indulgences For Bit Coins

March 1, 2014 by  
Filed under Vatican

VATICAN––Sources are confirming this morning that 11 priests are being accused of selling indulgences for bitcoins. The news comes just days after Pope Francis removed Bishop Ronaldo Tetzel from his position at the Vatican Bank after he admitted to sanctioning the sale of indulgences for those who gave “bit-alms” to help pay for renovations at St. Peter’s Basilica.

“We are currently investigating how large scale this operation was,” lead investigator Fr. Lartin Muther told the press this afternoon. “We do not have anymore details at this time. But what I can say is that the sale of indulgences for crypto-currency is cause for great concern, and that any priest found guilty in participating in such actions may be laicized in order for him to be reformed.”

Fr. Muther went on to say that Tetzel could be charged with up to 95 counts of scandal if found guilty, and that the public would know the ruling after he posted them on the doors of St. Peter’s sometime next week.

In the meantime, Tetzel is standing by his actions, saying that “As soon as a bitcoin in the coffer rings, a soul from purgatory springs.”

  • EileenDemirarslanMallon

    Who is the silly billys who has been buying them…

  • wlinden

    Bitter. isn’t he?

  • Paul Tentow

    How authentic is this story. Who is Fr. Lartin Muther? Am afraid of the media

    • Michael J. Lichens

      This is a parody site. See their other stories.

  • Tentow Paul

    Am glad the Holy Spirit is revealing the lies behind this post. For there is no Fr. Lartin Muther. Pls beware of this deceiver, making this short lies on the church. This is really sinning against the Holy Spirit

    • AreAy

      People like you make me bald.

    • Switch the L & M, and you’ll find out he lived about 500 years ago.

    • Linda

      *Face palm*

    • scooter

      Are you stupid or what?

  • Michael J. Lichens

    Never fails, EotT writes a story and people think it’s real or accuse them of lying.

  • The offending priests were put on a Diet of Worms, right?

  • clyde

    Bitcoin (one word, no space) is actually a pretty interesting technology. For example, an American could send money to a church in China in about 10 minutes (the transaction can be seen in a few seconds, but you have to wait for at least one block before it’s spendable), without having to rely on any intermediaries.

    Of course, in the end, it’s still just money. One has to remember what Matthew’s Gospel says: Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where malware and rust destroy and crackers break in and steal.

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  • NDaniels

    There was a time when followers of father