Second Paul VI Miracle Approved After Priest Gives Homily On Humanae Vitae

May 12, 2014 by  
Filed under Vatican

VATICAN—Just days after Pope Paul VI moved one step closer to canonization after a miracle required for Beatification was formally approved, an EOTT source inside the Vatican’s Congregation for the Causes of Saints today is saying that a second miracle was approved this morning.

A yet to be released report by the Vatican states that an unidentified priest, through the miraculous intercession of Pope Paul VI, gave an entire homily on the topic of Humanae Vitae during the Summer of 2012.

The unidentified priest reportedly gave the homily during National Natural Family Planning Awareness Week in 2012, which occurs annually around July 25th, the anniversary of the release of Humanae Vitae by Pope Paul VI.

One former parishioner who was present during the miraculous homily told EOTT today that she had “never heard something so obscene” in all her years. “That was the last time I ever stepped foot into a Catholic church. Many parishioners, myself included, left to become members of the Unitarian Church across the street that very day. We felt so much more accepted. Our new church even has Zumba Yoga!”

Some parishioners, although admittedly taken back by the shocking homily, have hesitantly remained in the Catholic Church. “We were so confused at first,” said Sarah Miller, a lifelong Catholic studying Women’s Studies. “He usually starts homilies with a Deepok Chopra quote or a story about a disabled puppy that overcame obstacles, so this was very new to us. It was the summer, so there weren’t as many people at Mass. It was extra quiet. He started to talk about…stuff…stuff I’d rather not mention.”

Although the parish where the homily was given has since lost more than 50% of their parishioners, for some, it has become a pilgrimage site, with hundreds flocking to the site every year to kiss the lectern where the homily was given.

  • Lawrence Lam

    A miraculous homily would be where the homily is given and those you’d think would be offended actually have their minds and hearts changed. That would deserve Santo-Subito-ness.

  • Marie Van Gompel Alsbergas

    I think I actually attended that homily. After the jeering crowd left, I stepped forward to congratulate Fr. With tears in his eyes, he said he hoped the other priests at the rectory had not yet changed the locks on the doors.

  • Adam Welp

    I attempted to call the parish for a follow-up story and all I was given was a forwarding address to Siberia.

  • carak

    This is a weird article in my opinion. Miraculous would not mean a whole bunch of people would leave and join the Unitarians. Weird and I don’t believe it’s even what the miracle consisted of.

    • Lawrence Lam

      Exactly what I’m trying to say! This article suffers a bit of a lack of hope and creativity.

      • Susan

        You mean hope and change?

    • steve5656546346

      It is a joke. This is a satire site. A joke.

    • Obzervation

      The miracle was that a priest gave a homily on Humana Vitae, not that people left because of it. And yes, for a priest to give a homily on a encyclical that is so universally hated by secular society would indeed be a miracle.

  • Victor M Hernandez

    I must admit, I have difficulty understaing what you are saying. Your language style is not up to my understading, Sorry guys, But Pope Paul VI’s Populurum Progessio remain very relevant today, and he challenges people to have less and be more. Simplify our lifestyle, consume less, share more, and save the earth as well.

    • Mike Dross

      He wanted us to save the earth? Are you sure? I might have to rethink my plans for this week…

  • Christopher Sas

    @disqus_ziCHQ1gs6O:disqus Remember that Our Lord himself lost followers when he gave his bread of life discourse in the gospel of John. So, I would say that it was only the TRUE followers of Jesus Christ who stayed in the Church and the luke-warm one’s who left to join the Unitarians. We should pray for them that the scales will be removed from their eyes.

    • Thibaud313

      I love the process of arriving on a site named “Eye of the Tiber” seeing an article about a second miracle being reported through the intercession of Ven. Paul VI (months before his beatification), the miracle being described as a priest giving an homily on Humanae Vitae and thinking : “Yeah that looks legit. The Holy See would definitely consider this a miracle. I need to comment on this totally serious pieces of news”.

      • AreAy

        I love you so much.

  • Jack Bradley

    I have to assume that the comments here are mostly either by those that have taken sarcasm and irony to heroic, art form levels or by people that have absolutely no sense of humor.

    • Marie Van Gompel Alsbergas

      Sadly, my story is true.

  • Mike

    Is the second miracle that there was a congregation present afterwards…Canonization time…?

  • Adam Welp

    I’m always shocked that people actually believe this is a real news site.

  • Neihan

    This made me tear up from laughter.

  • Susan

    My parish would sit in shocked disbelief.

  • josephus muris saliensis

    Such fun this site. The articles are ok, this one mildly amusing, but the real killer is the replies. I play a game – which headline is likely to have most replies which take it seriously. This one looked a winner, and was!

    Unless, of course, I’m the fool, and @Jack Bradley has correctly discerned an amazing seam of totally deadpan ironists… Awesome.

  • Tyler Hiles

    utterly miraculous, must be a miracle, did not even think it was possible, Paul VI must be a saint. only through God’s grace through Paul VI’s intersession could this have happened,

  • CallMeZNotZack

    Actually, Zumba Yoga is quite common in Catholic Churches around here…

    • Marie Noybn

      challenge it, I did, though ours was called simply “Yoga” no idea what zumba yoga is..and even though the Priest had checked it out and found that there were no pagan themes found and the meditations were prayer and Catholic centered, he acknowledged my point that even the name was too much, and had them change it to “Stretch!”

  • HermitTalker

    not funny at all.

  • Jeff Peters

    Ugh, more true than funny. The sad state of things.

  • rege1

    I actually once attended Mass and heard such a homily. It was at a beach town while we were on vacation. I went up to the priest after Mass to thank him for speaking on a topic rarely addressed in church, and mentioned that it must have been hard for him to do so. He smiled weakly and pointed to his face and collar, which were drenched with sweat, and replied, “You can see how hard it was for me!”

  • Benjac

    a follow-up article on this priest can be found at http://dailygazelle.wordpress.com/2013/07/15/2164/