Pelosi Excommunicates Cordileone

June 17, 2014 by  
Filed under Libs & Trads

Washington, DC––In an astonishing move today, Minority Leader of the House of Representatives and Mouthpiece of God in the United States Nancy Pelosi has excommunicated San Francisco Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone.

The move comes just a day after Pelosi sent Cordileone a letter asking him not to attend the National Organization for Marriage march in Washington D.C., calling the event “venom masquerading as virtue.” In response to the letter, Cordileone issued a response saying that the March for Marriage “is not anti-LGBT, but rather, it is a pro-marriage march.”

The letter of excommunication begins with Pelosi regretfully informing the San Francisco bishop that, due to actions displaying disdain and hate towards LGBT persons, “I, Nancy Pelosi, Mouthpiece of God Almighty, Secretary of Defense Against Bigotry, Director of the Office of Tolerance, and Ambassador to the Alpha and the Omega, hereby impose a ferendae sententiae, excommunicating you from my Catholic Church. I ask you to ‘evolve’ and to mend your bigot ways.”

“We separate him, together with his accomplices and abettors, from the precious Body and Blood of the Lord and from the society of all Christian people,” Pelosi told EOTT as she stroked the point of her long red tail. “We exclude him from our Holy Mother the Church in Heaven and on earth; we declare him excommunicate and anathema; we judge him damned, with the Devil and his angels, to eternal fire until he shall recover himself from the toils of the Devil and return to amendment and to penitence. So be it!”

At press time, Pelosi’s uncle, Screwtape, is very proud of her.

  • T. Audrey Glamour

    Uncle Screwtape…! Priceless!

    • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94rcOVJBMYQ Winston Blake

      Nothing is more misogynist than a homosexual, not even Islam… Islamics want to enslave a woman’s procreative powers, the gaytheists and fagnostics of Al Queerda want to destroy it.

      If anyone is more anti-woman, it is the gay leftist L’Internationale… and they infest the education bureaucracy like AIDS…

      • Faithr

        It is so puerile to make up words like Al Queerda and fagnostics. Don’t you realize you negate anything good in what you might be trying to say by being so stupidly juvenile? You do more harm than good. All we know now is that you are a repulsive a$$. And people who are pro gay marriage have more fodder for their claim that traditional marriage folks are jerks. Tell me do you think Archbishop Cordileone would approve of your wording? You are undoing all the good he is trying to do. As someone who believes in traditional marriage, for the love of God, shut up!

        • Erdos

          I think prayer for him might be the best use of our time.

        • Baron Kaza

          Actually Faith R you are wrong we should insult and attack the gay thugs as much as they attack us

          • Joy Mackey

            And then you are better than they are? To become LIKE them makes you smarter?

          • Baron Kaza

            Yes Joy I know I am better than them, I don’t consider my sins to be a “lifestyle choice” but an offense against God..

          • PureCatholic

            No one chooses to be Gay (a true gay that is) it’s a cross God gives them to carry. Its one of the hardest to carry. Please stop making fun of them and pray for them.

          • Danny E. Coon

            It is precisely a choice and God has called it an Abomination! You are not helping these people by spreading untruth. All sexual perversion is sinful and unless you confess and repent you will be headed to the same place of all who disobey our God. If it were not a choice then it would not be a sin. But like all sexual sin it is a choice. Loving someone of the same sex is not wrong but when you have sex with someone of the same sex that is perversion and a sin.

          • PureCatholic

            That’s not what I meant. The action is obviously wrong. I meant the person feeling a sexual attraction towards the person of the same gender. That can not be helped. They have to fight this attraction every day of there lives. If you have a cross that is harder to carry than that, please tell me and I will pray for you. Pax Dòmini

          • Danny E. Coon

            I would ask what is the attraction is it the persons (physical features)? Is it the persons personality? Or is it a sexual attraction (lust)? Obviously men can love other men but when it becomes sexual it is perversion. Yes it is a hard cross to carry. But it is not the most hard. The hardest was carried by Jesus.

          • Lonnie Franklin

            Don’t let them pray for you Danny!! It could be bad for you because look at the way queers are multiplying like termites.

          • Guest

            are you the one on the right in that picture?

          • PureCatholic

            Here is an example. I have a friend who is catholic and is also gay. He says it’s like a sickness that he can’t get rid off. He feels attracted to men but knows its wrong. He has a girlfriend and is living with this burden. Whenever someone hears he is gay they are like “wow, stay away from me you perverted creep.” It makes him feel sick to his stomach that they do not understand what he goes through. I understand where your argument is coming from as I have heard it many times. It’s hard to understand there feelings if you have not been in there shoes. As to your question what kind of attraction it is? I’m afraid I can not answer that as I personally do not know. I wish people could understand this and not just make fun of every single gay person they meet. Remember we hate the actions not the person. We should try to help not (clears throat and looks at the comment below) ask them to stop praying for us. Caeli Enarrant Gloriam Dei

          • Danny E. Coon

            I do not hate gays, homosexuals, lesbians or transgenders! What ever the attraction it is a sin to have sex with some one of the same sex. How is their cross any different then the man and or woman that is attracted to their best friends boyfriend or girlfriend? They are both sins if they act upon their feelings. We all have a cross to bare. But Jesus died so we do not have to bare that cross alone. No one does that believes. But do not go along with the so called Christians who say do not call “sin” sin! You are calling God a liar if you do!

          • PureCatholic

            I already said before that the sin is a sin. I realize that. But it is also possible to be Gay without committing the sin. Same way even if one is attracted sexually towards their boyfriend or girlfriend its not a sin as long as it is only an attraction and not a physical thing. Once again I state that it is not a sin to be gay the action is the sin. They, in most cases, don’t decide “I want to be Gay” (agreeably their are a select few) its a sickness. But I never said that it was the hardest cross, I said it is one of the hardest and probably harder than most people on here could handle. Imagine that every day of your life you are attracted to someone of the same Gender. Can you even imagine how hard that must be? The sin is DEFINITELY wrong but the Gay people shouldn’t “roast in hell” just because they are Gay. (By the way to all you people who are thinking I’m Gay, I’m from a large Catholic family and I’m only 14 so trust me when I say I’m not.)

          • Danny E. Coon

            You and I and the rest of the human race will not decide who goes to hell or heaven. Jesus will decide and it will not make any difference what we think. Jesus judgement is true. Pray for all people for all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God. And do not call what is sin normal!

          • PureCatholic

            I did not call the sin Normal. Sexual activity between persons of the same gender is a grave sin. Being gay is not. You said Jesus is the only one who can judge, and then you said that they “fall short of the Glory of God” Nolite iudicare ut non iudicemini. Pax.

          • Danny E. Coon

            I said “for all people have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God.” Read the whole sentence!

          • PureCatholic

            And I said one of the hardest crosses not the hardest. “Read the whole sentence!”

          • Danny E. Coon

            ” If you have a cross that is harder to carry than that, please tell me and I will pray for you.” Your post! Thank you!

          • Baron Kaza

            Utter nonsense, there plenty of men who leave their wives for a gay lover or a women leaving her husband for her lesbian “life partner”…they made those choices…When they quit mocking Christ and His Blessed Mother I will stop mocking them… otherwise may they roast in Hell

          • PureCatholic

            If you are Catholic I am ashamed of you!!! Cras amet qui nunquam amavit; Quique amavit, cras amet. We can judge no one as God is the ultimate judge.

          • Baron Kaza

            Why don’t you take a look at the gay “pride” filth parades and see how Our Lord is mocked..no I will judge and I will accuse…they are filth to burned at the stake…

          • PureCatholic

            I agree. But I’m not talking about them. I’m talking about the good ones who are judged right beside those people. And please remember WE HATE THE ACTIONS NOT THE PEOPLE God is the judge. “take the log out of your own eye so that you may see clearly the splinter in you neighbors” are you sinless? I am not and I will admit it. no one is without sin.

          • Baron Kaza

            Of course I am not sinless… but I am contrite and I do not demand that the Church change it teachings for my physical pleasures… but the homo’s do…and should be dealt with

          • PureCatholic

            I agree but are they “filth to burned at the stake” or are they going to “roast in Hell” as you said. Nolite iudicare ut non iudicemini.( If you don’t know latin that says “judge not lest ye be judged”)

        • Baron Kaza

          Totally awesome brother…take no prisoners….

        • dbwheeler

          Satan hates nothing more than laughter…especially when it is at his expense. People who lack a sense of humor tend to dramatize and enlarge the power of evil…inadvertantly, of course!!

        • Tim Rafferty

          And they say “they are here, they are queer, get used to it.” but you bigots whine if anyone else used the word………..Get used to it!

          • Gabe

            I am DESPERATELY hoping all these comments are just as tongue-in-cheek as the article is…but I fear that they are not. And in response to many of these comments, I would like to leave you with this paragraph from the Catechism of the Catholic Church. Let’s all pray for all humanity. Everyone needs it! :-) God bless!

            par. 2358 “The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They MUST be accepted with RESPECT, COMPASSION, and SENSITIVITY. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.”

            (emphasis added)

        • Lonnie Franklin

          There sure is alot of Queermongers these days just like the Bible warned us about!!!!

          • PureCatholic

            Unitam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant!!!!!!!!!!!

        • Jay Bowser

          People who use their bodies for body fluid spittoons are the ones who will people Hell. So what is so difficult to understand about sodomy?

    • AmericanPaPISSED

      As opposed to the church’s position that gay Americans should be banned by law from getting a civil marriage license from a clerk at city hall? Talk about uncle screwtape.

      • Sage Basil

        gays have the same right to get a marriage as anyone else, though I’m not sure why they would want one, being gay and all.

        • toughhombre

          Your idea of gay marriage is like insisting 2 + 2 = 5 !

        • PureCatholic

          If you mean someone who is gay marrying someone of the opposite sex then yes you are right. If not then what the heck are you doing on here?

        • Larenzo1

          They are not gay they are miserable. They are homosexual deviants.

    • PureCatholic

      I Totally agree, couldn’t have said it any better EOTT

    • PureCatholic

      i totally agree!!!! I almost died when i read that.

  • Veronica

    I’m surprised she didn’t say, “So let it written, so let it be done!”

  • Chrysologos

    ‘Cordileone’ translates as ‘Lionheart’.

    How apposite!!

    • Mike Dross

      And ‘apposite’ translates as ‘appurtenant.’

      How copacetic!!

  • Pingback: Pelosi Excommunicates Cordileone! | Catholic4Life()

  • Sage Basil

    The Bishop needs to say the Comrade’s Prayer a few times before being accepted back into the Church.

    Let us pray.

    Our Parent, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name, Thy classless society come, Thy will be done after ratification by a two-thirds majority, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily gluten-free bread, and tolerate us our trespasses, as we tolerate those who trespass against us, and lead us not into bigotry, but deliver us from judgment.

    Amen.

    • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94rcOVJBMYQ Winston Blake

      They would have men believe the path to Salvation is found by taking sides in the conflict between devils.

      The gaytheists and fagnostics of Al Queerda are insane.

      (judaic bolshevist mammonism) baphomet = mahomet (muslim brotherhood)

      It is the same devil.

    • Rick Gutleber

      Here let me fix that for you:

      Our Parent, who art in Utopia…

      Otherwise, good job. :-)

    • michelekc

      Very clever!

  • http://deshackra.com/ shackra sislock

    Yay, DAT C.S. Lewis reference!

  • James

    I, and any good Catholic, would not want to be part of “her” church anyways…it is not the true Catholic Church that she belongs to. Once you begin to actively preach and work against Church teaching you become protestant, plain and simple, regardless of whether or not you still call yourself Catholic.

    I do not believe everything the Buddhists believe, so why would I call myself a Buddhist?

    • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94rcOVJBMYQ Winston Blake

      Buddha wasn’t a Christian, but Jesus would have been a good Buddhist…

      The Golden Calf has grown up to be a hollow Bronze Bull.

    • Wilbur Bell

      I want to know who the hell she thinks she is that she can excommunicate anyone?

      • PureCatholic

        It’s called Satire, Bro.

  • Rich Florentino

    Screwtape has a very promising candidate in Abp Cordelione – I believe he could use a little self-examination of motives and feelings which are prompting his action in this case. Does it help? how? Is it kind?

    • T. Audrey Glamour

      Why would Screwtape want to be helpful and kind? But that’s a great suggestion–maybe if Screwtape would try a little self examination he would be!

    • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94rcOVJBMYQ Winston Blake

      All men are born of a woman.

      Nothing is more misogynist than a homosexual, not even Islam… Islamics want to enslave a woman’s procreative powers, the gaytheists and fagnostics of Al Queerda want to destroy it.

      Abortion is a ritual murder before an idol of vanity, upon an altar of conceit.

      Both are anti-life… and anti-Christ…

    • Fr. John Higgins

      Did it help to turn over the tables of the money lenders in the Temple? Was it kind?

      • Ann Saunders

        I wish you were my pastor father John Higgins … If you mean what you say, we could use you out here!

    • Mike Dross

      You might want to read the Archbishop’s response to Pelosi’s letter, especially the part where he says to his critics “Please do not make judgments based on stereotypes, media images and
      comments taken out of context. Rather, get to know us first as fellow
      human beings.” His entire message has been caring and pastoral.
      They have a good article on it at CNA. http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/archbishop-cordileone-counters-march-for-marriage-critics-54385/

  • Diego Flores

    I’m confused, how can she excommunicate someone?

    • Mat

      Satire bro

    • Elizabeth

      Seriously?

      • Diego Flores

        sorry I didn’t know this website was satire. The link came from a good source that’s why I was confused

        • Elizabeth

          Before I knew who they were, I was totally duped by one of their articles too. They write them so well, and that’s why they’re so funny. Almost easy to believe what you’re reading :)

          • Diego Flores

            And ti’s worse when the link comes from a trusted source! So i was like WTF?

  • John Flaherty

    I would be very surprised if Ms. Pelosi would have the guts.

  • AmericanPaPISSED

    In all honesty, this event is being sponsored by a group that promised to use divisive political strategies to “drive a wedge” between gays, latinos, and blacks. They also promised to “fan the flames of hostility” between gays and blacks. That is pretty hateful. The march is also being sponsored by a group that said that we should “export homosexuals”. That’s pretty hateful. If you still think Cordileone should be attending this march, then you really should sit down and figure out why you hate gay people so much. Honestly.

    • T. Audrey Glamour

      ???

      I’m sorry, that doesn’t follow…

    • Eduardo Jorge Rosenfried

      We don’t hate gay people, we hate their detestable homosexual acts.

    • Fr. John Higgins

      Perhaps you need to look at the definition of “hate”. If it’s “to disagree with” or “to not approve of someone’s actions”, then it seems that you’ve expressed hatred toward the entire Catholic Church.

      • Ann Saunders

        Thank you Father John Higgins. There is something wrong with the logic that biblical teachings are bigotry. I can never hear enough that the Bible says homosexuality is wrong when I hear people who want to say that Christ’s apostles were bigots! Let usbe clear that it is the action not the person we despise, for God condemns it. If He be for us, who can stand against us? I accept the church’s teachings, AND don’t want people thinking that we do not hold God’s word above the ” popular” or FORCED opinion that Gay is okay. Gay people are just as loved by God as anyone, it is the action He condemns, therefor so do I. AND I see God’s reason behind it. What do we do about the freak that claims he is attracted to children sexually, or the man who says he wishes to marry his goat…or any other animal?

        • PureCatholic

          Thanks for that. Soooo true. I know a guy who is gay. he is happily married (to a women) but when people find out he is gay they think he is like a leper. He is also Catholic and a great guy. he said its a great cross to bear but he accepts it as part of Gods plan.

    • fredx2

      I doubt you can cite real statements. Those sound fake to me.

    • Lonnie Franklin

      Hate the imorality!!

    • PureCatholic

      If they want to export Homo’s then I agree with you we should teach them the right way’s not to ship them away like the Jews but teach them the ways of God. Pax

  • Lennon

    PRICELESS. MOUTH PIECE OF GOD? I’M LAUGHING SO HARD I’M CRYING. THANK YOU!!!

  • Donro

    The government has now made slaves of Christians to the homosexual crowd. It is now apparent the homosexual crowd has no tolerance for anyone with different thoughts than the homosexual.

  • Pat Hines

    Excellent

  • Fr. John Higgins

    Screwtape has a lot of nieces and nephews, doesn’t he?

  • Mara Kavu

    Pelosi is speaking on behalf of Satanists…

  • Monty Ferbert

    Since when did the church elect women as Pope. Lol this woman has lost it, completely.

  • PureCatholic

    Why are so many comments being Deleted? come on guys smarten up:(

    • http://www.eyeofthetiber.com/ EyeOfTheTiber

      Thanks for the question. We deleted two comments because we found them over the top inappropriate. And we find almost nothing inappropriate! It was actually kind of impressive. Props to him.

      • PureCatholic

        LOL :)

  • BeeKaaay

    Pelousy is just another typical leftwingwacko.

  • toughhombre

    This excommunicated hypocrite shill for perversion is in no position to excommunicate anyone or anything. She is a cancerous wart on the backs of faithful orthodox Catholics. Sadly, she has all but sealed her eternal fate!

  • PureCatholic

    guys why so many deleted comments :( smarten up people!!!!

  • PureCatholic

    “as she stroked the point of her long red tail” hahahahahahahaha

  • Larenzo1

    Did this awful creature that pretends to be human actually send a letter like that? I thought it was a joke. It has to be a joke!

  • Chuck Bump

    I’ve got to ask my Catholic friends what they think of this.

  • Chuck Bump

    Like the C.S. Lewis reference

  • Sara Halcomb

    OMG! who is she to speak for God almighty and ambassador

  • http://www.bishopsheentoday.com/ Allan J. Smith

    The Devil is a liar and a thief. Enough Said.

  • Diane

    Wow is Pelosi ever a twisted individual. She is capable of nearly anything….

  • Lonnie Franklin

    I think Harry Reid and Nancy really do think they are the go between God and Jesus. She has herself convinced she is the mouthpiece of God Almighty and you notice it’s her church!!

  • Sharon K Erdely

    Nancy Pelosi is the one who should be excommunitaed from the Church. She is one of the eyes of the devil.

  • Emanuel Zimmermann

    What are some of you talking about? Homosexual people are allowed to marry by the Church, just like any normal person, maybe not the gender they want, but they are allowed to marry.

  • Goldbeard

    So God’s Good plan for the happiness and joy of mankind is evil, and Satan’s d’Evil plan for Man’s misery and the total destruction and downfall of man is Good? Why, thank you Nancy for so expertly informing us. Nancy, please read; http://www.Kiernan.blog.com/?p=42

  • Jerry Fay

    Arrogant. Time for her to back up and do some serious soul searching!
    Just now · Like

  • HappyCatholic

    That last line… oh my goodness…