USCCB Approves Initiative To Round All Traditionally Built Churches By End Of Next Year

August 26, 2015 by  
Filed under Parish Life

Members of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops announced that they have approved an initiative to “round out” all remaining traditionally built churches by the end of next year, USCCB secretary to the president bishop Jonathon Garner announced early this morning. “This is a long time coming,” an ecstatic Garner told EOTT. “We’re excited to finally give all parishioners the opportunity to finally get more involved in the Mass.” Garner... Read More

Francis Changes Mind; Declares 2016 “Year Of Divine Wrath”

August 19, 2015 by  
Filed under Vatican

Hundreds of Catholics gathered in St. Peter’s Square this morning to celebrate the Holy Father’s announcement that 2016 will now be called the Year of Divine Wrath. The announcement came as Pope Francis asked God to rain down fire and brimstone on the world for its corruption and lack of care for the poor. “It is time, oh Lord, for retributive justice!” Francis yelled into the microphone in front of all those gathered. “Let Judgment Day commence!” One... Read More

New “Straight Out Of Assisi” Movie Documents Rise Of Famed Rapper Fr. Stan Fortuna

August 13, 2015 by  
Filed under Parish Life

In 1990 a groundbreaking new Franciscan Friars of the Renewal rapper revolutionized Catholic music and pop culture, changing and influencing liturgical hip-hop forever. Fr. Stan Fortuna’s first album, “Straight Outta Assisi,” stirred controversy with its brutally honest depiction of life in the friary. With guidance from veteran cardinal John Joseph O’Connor, Fortuna navigated his way through the industry and seminary, acquiring fame,... Read More

Outrage After Man Butchers Beloved Liturgy In Zimbabwe

August 3, 2015 by  
Filed under Mass

A priest arrested in the butchering of a beloved Mass in Zimbabwe was released Wednesday by an ecclesiastical court on $1,000 bail. Fr. Theo Braxton, a professional Mass butcher since the 1960’s, said through his attorney that he was innocent of ruining a Mass in Zimbabwe, after he was asked to cover for a sick priest while vacation in the southern part of Africa. Church officials in Zimbabwe said Friday that killing the beloved Mass could bring a sentence... Read More