Study: Enjoying Candy Corn A Spiritual Defect

October 31, 2018 by  
Filed under Parish Life

  In what researchers are calling a spiritual defect, a new study published Tuesday by the Vatican confirmed that of all the types of candy one can enjoy, Candy Corn is “by far the worst and most sinful to enjoy.” “Despite all the amazing candies on the market, research has found that Candy Corn is as deceptive as the devil, because it is of the devil,” said researcher Candice Mckenzie. ” It does not taste like candy,... Read More

Survey: 88% Of Evangelicals Consider Eating Chick-fil-A A Form Of Tithing

October 29, 2018 by  
Filed under Parish Life

  According to a new survey out today by the Evangelical Institute of Spiritual Health reveals that 88% of evangelicals in the United States believe that eating Chick-fil-A is a form of tithing. “Most of those who took part in the survey said that shoveling down a Spicy Chicken Sandwich or Chick-n-Strips from Chick-fil-A while zesty buffalo sauce dripped down the side of their mouth was equivalent to, if not altogether more spiritually beneficial,... Read More

Pope Francis Meets With Carrot Top

October 19, 2018 by  
Filed under Vatican

Image: Timothy Evans   American stand-up comedian Scott Thompson, better known as Carrot Top, met with Pope Francis at the Vatican after his Wednesday general audience this week. Top, who rose to fame as a corky prop-comic before moving on to appear in such films as So I Married An Axe Murderer and Sharknado: The 4th Awakens, was pictured happily shaking hands with the pontiff. Speaking with media on Thursday, Vatican representative Bishop Reginald... Read More

Pope, Bishops Decide It’s Finally Time To Do Something About Sexual Abuse Crisis After YouTube Goes Offline

October 16, 2018 by  
Filed under Vatican

  Pope Francis and bishops from around the globe unanimously decided to actually try to do something about the sexual abuse crisis after YouTube went offline yesterday. “Now that we cannot simply sit around calling synods so that we look like we’re doing something while, in all actuality, we’re just watching videos of cats chasing lasers on YouTube, we, the Princes of the Church, in union with the successor of St. Peter, have decided that we... Read More

Color Blind Priest Having Trouble Doing The Red, Saying The Black

October 11, 2018 by  
Filed under Parish Life

  Explaining his frustrations at not being able to properly do the red and say the black in his missal during Mass, local color blind priest Father Richard Wendell asked congregants to try as best as they can to just ignore him. “…quia peccavi nimis cogitatione, verbo, et opera strike breast three times, mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa,” Wendell said aloud, realizing he had made yet another mistake as people began to murmur. “You gotta... Read More

Next Page »