“Before Washington Was, I AM,” Trump Tells Reporters

August 22, 2019 by  
Filed under Parish Life, Uncategorized

Image: Gage Skidmore

Speaking to a small crowd gathered outside the recently relocated American Embassy in Jerusalem, President Trump claimed himself Divine.

​“What people don’t understand is that I AM,” Trump told the crowd. “Before Washington, before the UN, even before Queen Elizabeth! I don’t need to play by their rules, because I make the rules.”

​“It seems that President Trump has personally affirmed what many have long-thought he believes about himself: that he is God,” said Rev. Thomas Stoddard, a biblical scholar currently residing at the Biblicum in Jerusalem. “Using the title ‘I AM’ is a direct quotation of Jesus Christ, and it makes him equal to YHWH in the Old Testament.”

​As is typical, Trump’s words have divided his hearers.

​“I don’t think being a billionaire, being crude, or being orange are part of being the Messiah,” said Donald Smith, of Portland, OR, and Rep. Ilhan Omar tweeted that. “He can’t claim to be the savior of a nation that shouldn’t exist.”

​Others, though, fully supported Trump’s claim.

​“He went from reality TV businessman to president, made America great again, and has hair that’s simply unexplainable by human standards,” said Mary Herbert, of Flower Mound, TX. “I think that all this is just miraculous! He truly is the Alpha and the Omega.” 

​At the time of reporting, claims that Trump healed a blind man, made the deaf hear, and the mute speak remain unsubstantiated.