Online Backbiting, Bickering About Receiving Communion In The Hand Expected To Reopen

May 18, 2020 by  
Filed under Parish Life, Uncategorized

Longtime combox contributor P90xcelsis Deo announced this morning that subjects such as receiving communion in the hands as well as holding hands during the Our Father were to reopen within the next couple of weeks.

“This all depends on when certain dioceses reopen Masses to the public,” Deo wrote in all caps and three exclamation points. “Obviously the faster they open up, the faster we forget how thankful we are to actually just be there­––that’s when we can forget all that we went through during quarantine and just going back to complaining about literally everything.”

Deo said in a statement posted on social media that Phase 1 would help people ease back into the “new normal” of being somewhat kind and considerate as they return home from their first Mass in months.

“It’s really in phases 2 and 3, as we learn to get comfortable and forget everything that happened to us, that we really hope to get back to rebuilding our online Catholic identity of backbiting, taunts, abuse and so on. The first few weeks will be critical. There’re a lot of venomous comments that have not been made for some time, and it’s crucial to our Catholic identity that we persevere so that we can return to calling people dipshits, heretics, snowflakes and so on without blinking an eye.”