Holy See Moves To Washington After America Declared Catholic Theocracy

Just hours after the United States was formally declared a Catholic theocracy, the Vatican announced Monday that the Holy See would be transferred to Washington, D.C. All Offices and personnel would relocate by the end of the year to help facilitate a peaceful transfer of power.

Though many in the media anticipated the news that Catholicism would be the law of the land come Monday, it still came as a shock to some after Amy Coney Barrett was confirmed the next Supreme Court justice.

“It’s just so scary and frustrating to be living in a time when a theocracy could be declared and there’s nothing anyone can do about it,” said feminist Nancy Dubois. “I mean, how long did it take–an hour for the U.S. to give up control over our bodies and gender.”

After the Vatican’s decision became official, Trump told members of the media that what he’s calling Taylor Marshall Law would take effect in just one week. He also announced that the elections would no longer be taking place because the pope is now monarch of America, saying, “and when I say pope, I mean Benedict, a good Republican Christian, not that Democrat, Francis.”