Local Voter Can’t Wait For Election To Be Over With So He Can Just Get Back To Rioting

After weeks of anticipation and boredom, voter Kendrick Anderson told EOTT that he was excited for Election Day to be over with so that he could finally get back to some normalcy after weeks of uncomfortable peace in his neighborhood.

“This’ been a really stressful time in my life,” Anderson said as he took a small sip of his chardonnay. “It’s tough just having to sit here day in and day out knowing you can’t do a darn thing about all the happy, carefree people walking around my neighborhood. I should be out there doing something for my country…stirring up fear and anxiety within my community! There’re so many buildings just standing there unburnt and ripe for vandalism. But rioting isn’t a one man show. No, it takes a village.”

Anderson said that ever since Election Day began to draw near, “somewhere around the first debate,” people stopped rioting.

“Sadly, people are so easily distracted these days, which takes away from the important things like the burning down of small businesses, the destruction of property in your neighborhood, and the desecration of sacred places. Luckily, Election Day is here, and with it comes pandemonium, which I believe, we all need a little bit of to remind us of who we can be when we come together.”