Chicago, IL–In the midst of the political firestorm regarding Montgomery Elementary School student Adrian Townsend’s right to wear a cross necklace, the Chicago School Board today announced that crosses, crucifixes, and lower case T’s would be banned in all public schools in the Chicago Unified School District. “We feel that things such as the cross may be offensive to those students who have no religious affiliation,” President of the Chicago School Board Jennifer Adams told the press. “But not only crosses, but also things that may resemble them. We’ve had a complaint from one concerned parent who said that her son had come home after a day of practicing the lower case ‘t’ telling her that Jesus had died for her sins.” A spokesman for the mother says that it now takes her son much longer to read a sentence, since he stops to kiss every ‘t’, and to utter the words ‘My Lord and my God,’ before continuing.