Washington, DC––Just one day after he was seen wearing a replica of the cap made famous by 16th century martyr Thomas More, thousands of onlookers today witnessed the beheading of Justice Anton Scalia in the National Mall. Under heavy security, Scalia, a conservative jurist in the Supreme Court, was escorted out of the National Mall by officials for questioning immediately after the Presidential Inauguration yesterday. “After hours of talks with Justice Scalia, it became quite apparent that he had no intentions of accepting Obama as the supreme head of America,” an anonymous official stated after the beheading. “He was asked a number of questions, including whether or not he believed that President Obama had jurisdiction over the Catholic Church in America…whether or not he [President Obama] did or did not have the power to redefine marriage as he saw fit, and also whether Justice Scalia felt silly wearing that hat. To these questions also, it was evident that he would not agree and sign.” After an expeditious trial by his peers at the Supreme Court this morning, Scalia was beheaded in front of thousands at the National Mall. Witnesses at the beheading say that Scalia’s final words were, “I am the President’s good servant, but God’s first. Joking…I never really was the President’s good serv…”
While white is out after labor day, that hat is a hat for all seasons
I see what you did there, Robert Bolt…
I can’t find this anywhere else. Obviously the mass media is trying to cover it all up.
Oh so apropos…
You guys rock! This website is hilarious…and Catholic…it’s great to see the sanctification of modern humor…good stuff.
HILARIOUS!!! as always!
Unfortunately, Scalia’s hat is very like that of Thomas Cramner.
Governments are funny about hats – John Fisher was executed in the same year as Thomas More when the Pope gave him a red one,
I can’t tell if this article is pro-Saint Thomas More hat or anti-Saint Thomas More hat. It’s all so confusing.
I think the point is Scalia is making a statement of dissent towards the POTUS and his policies. Amen to Scalia
Dear eye, my hat is off to you, and mostly especially to Justice Anton Scalia.
“I am the President’s good servant, but God’s first. Joking…I never really was the President’s good serv…” HA HA HA HA HA
Darn Italians. Everyone knows St. Thomas More was a good Irishman.
This DID not happen. Scalia was questioned by no one except certain segments of the leftwing media.
Dude, you know Eye of the Tiber is the Catholic version of The Onion, only funnier, right???
Faith and begorrah! Thomas More was an Englishman, and a rare exception- a good one! Justice Scalia is a magnificent man, and a worthy successor to St. Thomas More, hat and all. Bravissimo!!!!!!