Pope Francis Not Sure What To Make Of His Papacy Thus Far

April 16, 2013 by  
Filed under Uncategorized, Vatican


VATICAN CITY––It was announced earlier this afternoon that His Holiness Pope Francis was at a complete and utter loss about what to make of his papacy thus far. The 76-year-old Pontiff told Eye of the Tiber that he had been mulling over the question privately for some time now, but that he had hesitated about asking out of fear that he might appear to be a “bad” Catholic. “I don’t know, I guess it all started when I was up there on the loggia bowing my head and thinking to myself, ‘Jorge Mario Bergoglio…what are you doing?’ Then I went to church without security, I paid my own hotel bill, washed women’s feet, and now I’m like, “I don’t know what I’m gonna do next!'” Reports from aides closest to Francis say that the Pontiff had been asking them odd questions lately, one senior advisor, who preferred to remain anonymous, said that he had been approached by the Pope one day and was quietly asked to consider the question, “Who do the people say that I am?” “At first I thought he was talking about Luke 9:18 when Christ asks that question to his disciples. But when I started to answer, he stopped me and said, ‘No, man…you’re not getting it. I’m literally asking what the people are saying about me.'” In an exclusive interview with Eye of the Tiber just hours ago, Pope Francis made it clear that although he wasn’t yet quite sure of what to make of his “unorthodox” papacy, he was certain about his stance on the big stuff because of all his quotes about gay marriage and the devil and stuff, and would therefore give himself the benefit of the doubt. “But still, I gotta admit that sometimes I get real confused by some of the stuff I do.”

  • I am impressed that he is admitting what ninety nine percent of us would be feeling about this time in his pontificate. I am concerned about the sharks that are already beginning to gather at the first evidence of uncertainty. No other Pope has ever admitted these concerns although I am certain they all felt the same emotions. May the Holy Spirit be with him.

    • MP

      The article is fake – this is a satire blog.

      • Panda Rosa

        The article’s fake, but it does make sense, Pope Francis admitting to getting his sea-legs. He’s in it for the long haul, “Well, so far I’ve made some good points to people, now the tricky part is making sure they stick.”

    • musiciangirl591

      this is a satire blog, honey

    • Fr. Brain Gearloose, S.J.

      I too am impressed. Despite his confusion, I’m not confused at all.

  • Luke

    Satire, Joseph…satire…*facepalm*

  • Try to imagine Pope Saint Pius X asking his own self that question at any time

  • Bless you and thank you for lifting my spirits.

  • Montague

    Some people feel the same about Marc Barnes over at.. wait for it… Bad Catholic.

    I imagined that being funnier in my head.

  • ithakavi

    Two more years and still wondering.

  • pat

    Well, we don’t have women priests or gay commitment ceremonies yet, and there are a few people who still have faith, though we do have Catholic divorce now, so… let’s just say incomplete.