Müller To Build Vatican II Theme Park

January 10, 2013 by  
Filed under Libs & Trads, Uncategorized

VATICAN–Speaking to the press Wednesday afternoon, Prefect of the Congregation of the Doctrine of Faith Archbishop Gerhard Ludwig Müller announced plans to create the first ever Vatican II theme park. “We’re very thrilled about the opportunities that the theme park will bring to the Church. In particular, we’re excited to see how it may become a tool for fostering a culture of open dialogue within a fun and exciting setting,” Müller said, before giving reporters an inside look at one of the rides being developed for the park. “We have many rides being developed as we speak, but one of my favorites is our state-of-the-art ferris wheel where Vatican and SSPX officials can sit down and discuss the important issues of Vatican II while going around in circles.” An SSPX spokesman later told Eye of the Tiber that they reject the premise of the theme park altogether, and that they plan to dissuade their followers from entering, saying, “It is an evil theme park; that is the correct term to describe it…not invalid or illicit, but evil.”

  • A cynic


  • Lionel Andrades

    The Society of St.Pius X should ask the Vatican how can they be canonically expected to accept a Vatican Council II with the false premise of the dead being visible
    How can there be an ecclesial rupture if the SSPX rejects Vatican Council II with the added-on premise of the dead man walking ?
    How can there be canonical restrictions for not accepting Vatican Council II with an irrationality ?
    The Franciscan Conventual Curia in Rome accepts Vatican Council II along with the irrational premise of the dead being visible.So they assume that Vatican Council II contradicts the dogma extra ecclesiam nulla salus and that the Council contradicts itself. Lumen Gentiium 16 contradicts Ad Gentes 7.They have been granted canonical status by the Catholic Church inspite of the added-on premise.
    The Society of St.Pius x (SSPX) has to accept Vatican Council II with the premise of the dead man walking to receive canonical status.It is not clear if they will still be granted canonical status without the premise of being able to see the dead saved in invincible ignorance and the baptism of desire.They presently have no canonical status according to the Vatican.
    The Franciscan Curia will not answer if implicit salvation is visible to them and if these cases are explicit exceptions to the dogma.Their ordinations are valid, unlike the SSPX, as candidates for the OFM Conventual priesthood allege they can see the dead. This is a general observation among them.
    This is an ‘irregular’ canonical requirement.
    Why cannot the Franciscan Conventual priests like St.Maximillian Kolbe deny that the dead saved are explicit exceptions to the dogma ? St.Maximilian Kolbe had canonical status without having to affirm this irrationality.Cannot the same privilege be given also to the SSPX ?
    Canonically do we Catholics , SSPX and non SSPX, have to accept Vatican Council II with the false premise ?
    The important question for the Vatican spokesman which needs to be asked is : Can the Society of St.Pius X accept Vatican Council II without the false premise of being able to see implicit cases on earth ? Can there be two interpretations of the Council – one with the false premise and the other without it?
    – Lionel Andrades

    • A Cynic


      • A Cynic

        The best thing about this blog are the people who have no sense of humor taking every word literally.

        • Humor is effective to the extent it resonates with reality and so Mr. Andrades’ response (if one has but the imagination and wit to see it) is an oblique compliment to the competence of the author of the post.

          • Catholic Coach

            That post made my head spin like Linda Blair!

    • Christopher Leo Biddle

      WRONG SIR! The SSPX ordinations ARE valid, all of them.

      • Mark

        Christopher is right. The SSPX ordinations are, in fact, valid. I’m not sure I could say all of them are valid, as I haven’t followed the group that closely, but the original ordinations were ILLICIT, but they were quite valid. Any ordinations done by that group would also be valid.

    • John Kloess

      1. Why would the dead not be visable, saints do that all the time; it canot be false.

      2. In what way does Lumen Gentium 16 contradict Ad Gentes 7? They seem to agree to me.

  • MK

    Words fail me on how much I love this blog! It is by far my favorite Catholic website when I need a laugh break. The only thing that cracks me up more than the posts are the responses; which makes each visit a twofer.

    • Martha


      • Catholic Coach


    • Richard

      Spot on! I was hoping an official from the CDF would chime in!

    • Cindy Coleman


  • Panda Rosa

    The ferris wheel where church officials can sit and debate?, now that I’d be curious to see.

  • Catholic Coach

    Another gem…however I would think a merry-go-round to be a more apt vehicle for the “negotiations.” Of course, then there would need to be extended discussion about what music is to be be played by the calliope…

    • Christopher Leo Biddle

      Polyphony, of course.

  • Ceile De

    I guess there must be two ferris wheels – one to go round in circles with SSPX. The older one, quite rusty now, is the ARCIC big wheel – the big “ride to nowhere”.

    • Ceile De

      Of course, if that ride makes one a bit nauseous, one can get off and recover at the ordinariate stand.

  • Michael Whelan

    many rides being developed as we speak, but one of my favorites is our state-of-the-art ferris wheel where Vatican and SSPX officials can sit down and discuss the important issues of Vatican II while going around in circles.”
    This reminds me of an old British black and white movie called “The Wrong Arm Of The Law” where the crooks and the police meet on a carousel to agree a truce.

  • Cindy Coleman

    My disappointment with this point abounds……I was hoping for some more secret previews of some of the other terrific rides they have in the works. 🙁 Can any one help us out here????

    • Waitforit777

      Yes, I have a reliable source that tells me that there will be several rides aboard which the Hand of God tweaks the knobs controlling various fundamental “constants” of His Universe of physics! The sensations are expected to be “Out of This World,” but also “Very brief” as all matter in the attraction is anticipated to destabilize on the order the Planck time, roughly 10^-43 second. Another catch the cost of admission: You must deed all your property to the Holy See before the “ride” begins, but I hear it will be worth every cent!

    • pat

      Sure, how about some of those game stands:
      Whack- a- conservative,
      Find the tabernacle,
      poke a hole in the seamless garment
      then there’s the house of worship of horrors – too easy
      Activities, like – bridge building, accompanying and dialoguing,

  • Jim

    I hear the Congregation needs some names and slogans to consider:
    Dogmania: It’s Conciliar-ific!
    Lumen Gentium Land. Vatican II much fun for just one visit.
    Laity World. Where your vacation is our vocation.

  • “We have many rides being developed as we speak, but one of my favorites
    is our state-of-the-art ferris wheel where Vatican and SSPX officials
    can sit down and discuss the important issues of Vatican II while going
    around in circles.”


  • 1crappie2

    A favorite with the secular crowd was scratched due to lack of interest after they decided to change its name from “the Tunnel of Love” to the “Tunnel of Charity.”

  • Bill Werk

    Maybe they should have a priest ride in a box with a parishioner on a roller coaster and take their confessions. Or they could have a Jesus ascending bungee ride, or Angel carousels with a big halo around the top, and a slide that can be “Backsliding” into hell.
    This was a blah story. Step it up.