Homily Never Going To End, Sources Confirm

June 20, 2013 by  
Filed under Mass, Uncategorized

Pulpit

Galveston, TX–Multiple sources at Prince of Peace Catholic Church in Galveston, Texas have just confirmed that parish pastor Fr. Robert Warner is “never going to wrap up his freaking homily.” 29-year-old mother of three Katrin Flores told Eye of the Tiber that Warner, whose homily was now running more than 25 minutes long, did not seem to be losing any steam whatsoever. “There was a couple times there where we thought he was about to shut it down, but then he’d say something like, ‘A couple more points I’d like to cover.’ But each of those ‘points’ had sub-points, and then there was that ten-minute span when he went off on a tangent about growing up in Warsaw with his strict-though-not-overbearing mother. Seriously demoralizing.” James Thorpe, who was on his third restroom break in just under 15 minutes, reported that Warner wasn’t a terrible speaker, but that he wasn’t Fulton Sheen either. “The man’s a time vampire,” Thorpe said as he suddenly felt an urgent desire to slowly redo his tie before returning to his pew. At press time, Warner has given the congregation a glimmer of hope by pausing for a few seconds before beginning again with the words, “In 1972…a man by the name of…”

  • Cory

    It is at that point that a member of the congregation has the obligation to stand up and say, “I believe in one God….”

    • Veronica

      True dat! I’ve heard priests cut in when the choir starts to sing the “Holy, Holy”….so it’d only be fair.

      • AnneG

        The priest is supposed to be the CELEBRANT, so I have no problem with him interrupting the choir. They re not the stars and it isn’t a performance!
        I’d love to hear a substantive, pastoral homily, mentioning sin occasionally.

        • Andy, Bad Person

          The priest is supposed to be the CELEBRANT, so I have no problem with him interrupting the choir. They re not the stars and it isn’t a performance!

          Nonsense on stilts. The Sanctus is the song of the Church (and the angels), and should be sung. The idea that Father has the “prerogative” to interrupt them, usually because he’s afraid Mass will go longer than his 42.5 minute average, is a terrible idea.

          The choir does, in fact, have a role. Not the central role, obviously, but to suggest that, say, “Wanting to sing the Sanctus, an absolutely mandatory text of the Mass” is “performing” is liturgical nonsense.

          • http://puffsstuff.blogspot.com Puff the Magic Dragon

            Absolutely true The Choir sings or leads the community in singing praises to God. ALthough not an ordained ministry it is a ministry. The priest should not interrupt the choir and th choir should not interrupt hte priest. They both have the repsective roles which must be observed. BTW the it isn’t a performance for the celebrant either. He isn’t the star. Christ Sacrificed is.

        • Sean

          Stop by St. Luke the Evangelist Catholic Church, Indianapolis, IN. You will not be disappointed.

          • Sean

            My recommendation above is in reply to “I’d love to hear a substantive, pastoral homily, mentioning sin occasionally”…not the choir argument.

  • Britny

    I don’t remember who it was… I feel like it was Aquinas but I may be misquoting, someone help me, but there was a saint who said something along the lines of “in the Roman Rite, homilies should be kept short. 45 minutes to an hour at most” :) It seems most now are 5 minutes or shorter. Though Fr. Mike Schmitz is always about 20 mins.

  • Howard

    It could be worse. “And a certain young man named Eutychus, sitting on the window, being oppressed with a deep sleep (as Paul was long preaching), by occasion of his sleep fell from the third loft down and was taken up dead.” Acts 20:9

    • Phil

      To his credit, Paul had the good grace to bring him back to life.

  • Veronica

    I used to feel this way about homilies when I was in Catholic school. I sat there, trying to keep my eyes open…and wishing my tummy wouldn’t growl. Especially since we had fasted all night and morning…and lunch was still a couple of hours away!

  • kelso

    I think it was St. Ignatius who said fifteen minutes should be the standard. He also said low Mass should take no more than half hour. Oddly enough, although a priest, St. Ignatius did not say Mass. He felt unworthy. Too bad he felt that way. He should have obeyed a director or the pope and offered Mass.

  • http://www.eyeofthetiber.com/2013/04/03/tensions-escalate-as-north-korea-threatens-to-deploy-lcwr-nuns-on-west/ etcumsprit220

    …and the sermon was followed by the latest Novus Ordo hit, “It’s the song that never ends, it goes on and on my friends…”

  • Stilbelieve

    Yesterday, the pastor gave a Homily that was so long it even caused him to look at his watch 3 different times. I got to Church just as Reading 1 was about to begin. Went up front and took a spot on the isle in the short pews 4 pews from the front. But there was no missals; I like to read along with them because being in a parish where 3 different languages are spoken there are readers I have a hard time understanding. I saw space in the first pew in the longer pews to my right and they had missals not being used. After the Reading II, I got up and moved to the front pew which turned out to be totally empty. After assuring myself it wasn’t set aside for any one special, I went in, opened the Missal and read along, standing right in front of the pastor. He’s the kind of person who likes to look directly at people and if catching your eye, continues looking at you until he finishes a thought. His talk was on baptism which he got back on 3 or 4 times after wondering over to “listening with two ears” which lead to his childhood where his mother told him telling him anything was a waste of time because it just goes in one ear and out the other; which led to fighting with his brothers and sisters which had several other linkages which wound up with his father sending the brothers out in the back yard to duke it out with each other because he was tired of listening to them argue; which return to baptism which followed his first watch check; but swerved into modern baptism at birth requiring parental followup in catechist at home because otherwise that can lead to being a 50/50 Catholic which reminded him that, not wanting to be critical, but going forward and saying it anyway (motioning over everyone’s heads) that people who tend to sit in the back are 50/50 people – 50% into the Mass and 50% not; then leading to his telling people they should sit up front in pews with their kids to be more involved with the Mass and their religion and the kids would have something to watch. At that point I felt every bodies eyes looking at me – which I didn’t mind because I wore a nice dress shirt with matching pants, and I was enjoying his sermon which continued on and eventually finished a minute or two after looking at his watch for the 3rd time.

  • Jacob

    Another amusing story. Thank you!

    On the sermon length point, however, I would like to add that length in itself is no virtue. If the priest has little to say, he shouldn’t bore his flock. It used
    to be the case that the parish priest was the best educated man of his town and could edify his flock on a regular basis. Too many American priests offer little more than mindless platitudes and exhortations to be “nice”.

    Even aside from that, St. Thomas (following Aristotle) notes in his treatise on law that even good laws should not necessarily be passed if they would simply prove too difficult for the people
    to obey. The modern churchgoer is a creature of very different habits from Augustine’s Christians, and might need a different sort of food to feed his soul.

    That said, many American Catholics probably need to suck it up when they think the sermon is too long.

  • Barry Gabriel

    If it’s over 7 minutes, it ceases to be a homily. 20 minutes is a sermon. Anything more than that, I change churches.