Dumbstruck Congregation Listens In Awe As “Judgmental” Pastor Delivers Sound Homily

November 10, 2013 by  
Filed under Libs & Trads

Image: ChipSomodevilla/Getty Images Europe

Encinitas, CA–Listening in shock and horror as a visiting priest delivered what many believed to be a judgmental homily earlier this morning, many parishioners at Sacred Heard Catholic Church in Encinitas, California, were traumatized after listening to what some called “the most sound homily they had ever heard.” “It was disgusting,” one parishioner, Debbie Locke,... Read More

Homily Never Going To End, Sources Confirm

June 20, 2013 by  
Filed under Mass, Uncategorized

Pulpit

Galveston, TX–Multiple sources at Prince of Peace Catholic Church in Galveston, Texas have just confirmed that parish pastor Fr. Robert Warner is “never going to wrap up his freaking homily.” 29-year-old mother of three Katrin Flores told Eye of the Tiber that Warner, whose homily was now running more than 25 minutes long, did not seem to be losing any steam whatsoever. “There... Read More

Catholic School Children Offended By Dumbed Down Homily

March 5, 2013 by  
Filed under Mass, Uncategorized

Children's Mass

El Centro, CA–Students at St. Therese of Carmel Acadamy walked out of Mass confounded earlier this morning after parish priest Fr. Ted Cordova delivered an over simplified homily about the Lord’s command to forgive “not seven but seventy-seven times.” “My mind’s still totally blown away with how stupid Fr. Ted thinks we are,” 8th grader Mary Brueland... Read More

Man Found Dead After Botched Homily

November 7, 2012 by  
Filed under Mass, Uncategorized

CRIME

A man whose body was found in a pew at St. Cecila’s Church Friday died from blunt trauma to the heart, the San Bernardino County medical examiners office found after autopsies performed this morning. “We can’t say much at this time,” one examiner said at a press conference  “but what we can say is that the cause of death wasn’t trauma to the actual, physical... Read More