Drive-Thru Confessions Huge Hit In Local Parish

Reports out of The Church of the Most Holy Trinity in Wichita, Kansas are confirming that last week’s launch of their new drive-thru confessional was a complete success. “It’s an absolute blessing,” Church Pastor Father Donald Borland told EOTT. “One day I was sitting in the confessional listening to this old man’s confessions, and all I could think about was how long this poor old man was standing in line. I remember... Read More

Statue In Cathedral Of Our Lady Of The Angels Wondering Why Everyone Keeps Laughing At It

Los Angeles, CA––The Virgin Mary statue at the entrance of Our Lady of the Angels Cathedral in Los Angeles announced today that it was becoming evermore frustrated and frankly rather confused by the amount of mockery it has received since it was first created. The 8-foot-tall, modern representation of the Virgin Mary told Eye of the Tiber that ever since it was created in 2002, it has been the butt of jokes, scoffs, and laughs by visitors... Read More

Self-Proclaimed Thomist Admits He Knows Nothing Of Thomas

Spokane, WA––It was reported this week that Gonzaga University grad and self-proclaimed Thomist Stephen Hillers knows virtually nothing about the works of St. Thomas Aquinas. Hillers, well known for beginning his sentences with the words, “Well, according to Thomas…” came clean to friends late Tuesday night when he revealed that he did, in fact, know nothing about the Summa Theologica, and that he had never even heard of the... Read More

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