Tag Archives: Roman Curia

Pope Francis To Investigate Roman Curia On TV Show “Undercover Boss”

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Undercover Pope

ROME–Executives from CBS confirmed Wednesday that Chief Executive Officer of The One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church Pope Francis would be appearing in this season’s finale of the hit television show Undercover Boss. The finale, slated to appear in late May, will feature the Pontiff taking on an alias and fictional backstory as he navigates his way through different parts of the Vatican in an attempt to investigate the inner workings of the Curia. Series Creator and Producer Stephen Lambert told Eye of the Tiber that it was one of the most difficult episodes he’s ever worked on. “Usually it’s the CEO of 1-800-FLOWERS or something, so it’s typically a lot easier to hide their identity…but when it’s the Bishop of Rome, that’s when it gets a bit tricky.” Lambert went on to say that the episode had some hallmark moments, especially the moment his true identity is revealed. “Everyone is shocked, as expected. But what really shocked us most was how many people said, ‘Oh, crap,’ after the revelation.”

Vatican Insiders Reveal Holy Father Resigned Because Roman Curia “Too Fabulous”

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VATICAN CITY–Sources close to Pope Benedict revealed today that the ultimate reason for his resignation was not his old age, but in fact an inability to keep up with the “fabulousness” of the Roman Curia. “The Holy Father is a simple man,” our sources said, “and can’t keep up with the non-stop furniture re-arrangements, the hair stylings, or the near-hourly musical numbers he found himself surrounded by in the Vatican.” The source revealed that, in mid-conversation, members of the Roman Curia often break out into song and dance routines “in order to better express their feelings.” It was apparently this exuberant, flamboyant lifestyle that the Holy Father felt he could not keep up with in his old age. “I mean, just look at the way he dresses. There’s no way he could do mid-air splits in that old cassock. And white is so 2010.” The source added, “I mean, he did pull out the pink chasuble once or twice a year, but that’s not exactly up to speed on the amount of flare expected these days in the Vatican.” The source concluded, addressing the tiny dog he was carrying: “Is it pwincess?”