Female Parishioners Upset That Men Not Also Being Asked To “Set The Altar” Before Mass

Baker, OR–Female Parishioners at St. John Bosco Parish in Baker, Oregon have sent a letter to Bishop Liam Cary accusing their pastor Fr. Maurice Alvarez as well as Deacon Bob Ley of sexism and chauvinism. The one-page complaint letter alleges, among other things, that Alvarez “sits back in the rectory with Deacon Bob every Sunday before Mass, laughing it up, while the women are... Read More

No Laity Found To Bring Up Gifts To Altar; Consecration Delayed Two Hours

  Pastor of St. Dwenden Catholic Church Ben Gregory was forced to postpone the consecration for nearly two hours earlier this morning after lead usher Kevin Sarkosy was unsuccessful in locating anyone willing to bring up the bread and wine for the Presentation of the Gifts at Mass. “Obviously the presentation is as important to the Mass as the consecration is…everyone knows... Read More

Priest Magician Performs Folk Mass Illusion; Makes Parishioners Disappear

Las Vegas, NV––Citing a large demand for his Folk Mass illusion, part-time magician Fr. George Richmond of Las Vegas, Nevada told reporters Sunday that he would begin to perform the trick every Sunday at 9:00 am. “I remember last time I performed the illusion, I was able to make nearly every one of my parishioners disappear,” said Richmond, noting that he has many other tricks... Read More

Lazy Man Not Helping To Put Up Kneeler

West Bloomfield, MI––A source out of St. Ulric Catholic Church in West Bloomfield, Michigan confirmed Sunday that parishioner Alexander Ramsey had not lifted a finger to assist in putting up or down the kneeler for the consecration. “I can see he’s a really big guy, but come on…I know he can reach down a foot,” the source told Eye of the Tiber. “Or just use your... Read More

Quick-Thinking Parishioners Rush Altar To Assist Lone Priest

Culver City, CA––Parishioners of St. Raymond Catholic Church in Culver City, California were forced to jump into action during Mass early Monday morning when it appeared that only one priest would be available for the consecration. According to sources at the scene, parishioners went into a frenzy when it appeared that visiting priest Fr. Bryce Carbone was close to saying the words of consecration... Read More

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