Lazy Man Not Helping To Put Up Kneeler

January 14, 2013 by  
Filed under Mass, Uncategorized

West Bloomfield, MI––A source out of St. Ulric Catholic Church in West Bloomfield, Michigan confirmed Sunday that parishioner Alexander Ramsey had not lifted a finger to assist in putting up or down the kneeler for the consecration. “I can see he’s a really big guy, but come on…I know he can reach down a foot,” the source told Eye of the Tiber. “Or just use your... Read More

Quick-Thinking Parishioners Rush Altar To Assist Lone Priest

January 8, 2013 by  
Filed under Mass, Uncategorized

Culver City, CA––Parishioners of St. Raymond Catholic Church in Culver City, California were forced to jump into action during Mass early Monday morning when it appeared that only one priest would be available for the consecration. According to sources at the scene, parishioners went into a frenzy when it appeared that visiting priest Fr. Bryce Carbone was close to saying the words of consecration... Read More

Colorado Priest To Appoint Entire Parish Eucharistic Ministers

December 10, 2012 by  
Filed under Mass, Uncategorized

Loveland, CO––Saint Perpetua Parish Priest Father Nick Farley announced Friday that he would be appointing every single parishioner at his church an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion. “In due respect to the amount of Extraordinary Ministers needed per mass, the adage ought to be, more the merrier,” Farley said. Farley later proudly added that all of his current Extraordinary... Read More

Area Baptist Church Runs Out Of Welch’s 100% Grape Juice For Communion

December 5, 2012 by  
Filed under Libs & Trads, Uncategorized

San Diego, CA–Pastor Kyle Sandera of Newlife Baptist Church in San Diego, California says that an unanticipated large crowd at Sunday service this past weekend depleted their Welch’s 100% Grape Juice reserve before everyone was able to partake in the breaking of bread. “We honestly just didn’t expect that that many people would show,” Sandera told Eye of the Tiber. “30... Read More

Thousands Camp Outside Churches In Anticipation Of Black Friday Masses

November 22, 2012 by  
Filed under Mass, Uncategorized

Hundreds of church-goers stamped into Saint Theresa Parish on Black Friday, 2011, just moments before four are tragically trampled to death. As anticipated, thousands of church-goers have already camped out in front of churches all across the nation in anticipation of Black Friday Masses. Joseph Evanovich of New Orleans says that an opportunity to get closer to the tabernacle for Mass drove him... Read More

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