Jesus May Have Been Born Years After Pope Thinks, Claims Incoming Anglican Archbishop

CANTERBURY––The “mistake” was made by 21st century Pope and scholar known as Benedict XVI or God’s Rottweiler, the incoming Anglican Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby claims in his new book, Christ of Nazareth: The Baby Narratives, published on Thursday. “The Pope claims that the calculation of the beginning of our calendar, that being based on the birth of... Read More

Italian Doctor Prescribes Israel, Palestine High Dose Of Chill Pill

ROME––At the request of Pope Benedict XVI, Rome’s foremost family counselor Dr. Umberto Navarro announced today that he has sat down with Israel and Palestine to try to encourage the volitile couple to peacefully work out their issues. “I sat down with the couple for an hour long counseling session and it quickly became apparent that the relationship is not only insecure,... Read More

Catholics For Choice Asks Vatican To Allow Abortions In Cases of Rape, Incest, Impending Prom

The pro-choice organization Catholics for Choice today sent a request to the Vatican asking them to ease restrictions on abortion in cases of rape, incest, and impending prom. The focus of the letter was aimed primarily at the subject of impending, “once in a lifetime” proms that many unfortunate teens are forced to miss due to unplanned and untimely pregnancies. The request, sent... Read More

Parishioner Agnes Day Excited About New Vatican Crackdown On Her Name

Manchester, NH––For over 40 years, Agnes Day, parishioner at St. Luke Parish, has quietly suffered what she called “decades of unnecessary adaptations to her name.” Day, a daily communicant, told Eye of the Tiber how decades ago parishioners began to give her nicknames. “It’s not like they were bad names or anything…they just weren’t mine. Sometimes... Read More

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