[Breaking] Biden Steps Down As VP Hours After Becoming Pro-Life
March 19, 2013 by Admin
Filed under Politics, Uncategorized
Former Vice President Joe Biden attending Pope Francis’ Installation Mass. Washington, DC––Vice President Joe Biden announced today that he was stepping down as Vice President just hours after an altercation on the phone between Biden and President Obama regarding the sanctity of life. This comes on the heels of Biden’s visit with with Pope Francis after the conclusion of the pope’s Installation Mass,... Read More
Pope Francis Stumbles; Foreshadowing Of Unstable Papacy?
March 15, 2013 by Admin
Filed under Uncategorized, Vatican
A sign of things to come? VATICAN––Media outlets around the world were quick to speculate about the future of the two day old papacy of Pope Francis earlier this morning after the new pontiff tripped on his way down a step to greet Dean of Cardinals Angelo Sodano. Calling it “The Great Stumble,” many are now speculating whether this could be an “omen” of the 76-year-old... Read More
Many Disappointed First-Ever Black, Jewish, Woman, Lesbian Pope Not Elected
March 13, 2013 by Admin
Filed under Uncategorized, Vatican
A Catholic Argentinian Man VATICAN–Sadness and a general sense of ennui slowly crept through media outlets, liberal households, and university campuses Wednesday, as the realization became more and more apparent that the Catholic Church had failed yet again to elect its first-ever black, Jewish, woman, lesbian Pope. “I just don’t understand how they can keep screwing up... Read More
Vatican Insiders Reveal Benedict Resigned Because Roman Curia “Too Fabulous”
Sources close to Pope Benedict revealed today that the ultimate reason for his resignation was not his old age, but in fact an inability to keep up with the “fabulousness” of the Roman Curia. “The Holy Father is a simple man,” our sources said, “and can’t keep up with the non-stop furniture re-arrangements, the hair stylings, or the near-hourly musical numbers he found himself surrounded... Read More
Müller To Build Vatican II Theme Park
January 10, 2013 by Admin
Filed under Libs & Trads, Uncategorized
VATICAN–Speaking to the press Wednesday afternoon, Prefect of the Congregation of the Doctrine of Faith Archbishop Gerhard Ludwig Müller announced plans to create the first ever Vatican II theme park. “We’re very thrilled about the opportunities that the theme park will bring to the Church. In particular, we’re excited to see how it may become a tool for fostering... Read More