New Text Message Mass All The Rage At Gonzaga University

April 18, 2013 by  
Filed under Mass, Uncategorized

th Lord b W u : )

Spokane, Washington–Expressing sadness for the lack of attention from parishioners during Sunday Masses, Gonzaga University priest Fr. John Conti has recently instituted an all new “Text-Message-Only Mass.” The Gonzaga graduate who just celebrated his 15th anniversary of priesthood told reporters that the idea came to him as he sat listening to the deacon read the epistle.... Read More

Christendom College Student Won’t Shut Up With The Latin Already

April 7, 2013 by  
Filed under Libs & Trads, Uncategorized

"Colligium Christendum bonum scholasticum est."
Roger McNerney

“Colligium Christendum in Virginium est. Christendum bonum scholasticum est.”Ben Tate Salem, OR––Friends of Christendom College freshman Ben Tate reported this week that he “hasn’t shut up with the whole Latin thing since returning for spring break.” The 19-year-old undergrad had just recently returned from Front Royal, Virginia for break when friends began to notice... Read More

Notre Dame Linebacker Duped Into Playing For Fake Catholic University

January 20, 2013 by  
Filed under Libs & Trads, Uncategorized

manti-teo-heisman

South Bend, IN––According to sources within the University of Notre Dame last week, star linebacker Manti Te’o was “duped” into attending and playing for what he believed to be a real Catholic university. The university told reporters that Te’o, who became the inspirational force behind the Fighting Irish’s Cinderella run to the BCS National Championship this... Read More

Scientists Test Effects of Novus Ordo On Longtime Sedevacantist

December 12, 2012 by  
Filed under Libs & Trads, Uncategorized

Doctor William Manders interviewed about Novus Ordo testing on Sedevacantist.

Dr. William Manders interviewed about Novus Ordo testing on Sedevacantist. Los Angeles, CA–Attempting to explain the physical and emotional toll that an average Sedevacantist would endure during a Novus Ordo, students at UCLA have recently begun tests on 54-year-old Sedevacantist John Weiss of Glendale, California. “Thus far the results have been quite fascinating,” Head of the... Read More

University Of Steubenville Quarterback Exclusively Throwing “Hail Marys”

November 27, 2012 by  
Filed under Parish Life, Uncategorized

FOOTBALL

Steubenville, OH––The University of Steubenville, best known for their strict adherence to the Magesterium of the Catholic Church, has decided that their football playbook will continue to contain no other play but the “Hail Mary”. “Even in football we’re called to heed the words of St. Paul when he says, ‘Pray without ceasing,’” University President... Read More

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